Written for Jeshi-chan (Mentality at its Worst) in my request a drabble post on my LJ.
I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.
For Ed's fifteenth birthday, Roy took him drinking.
Well, somewhat, anyway. He took him to a minor-friendly bar, and ordered himself a Bloody Mary and Ed a Virgin Mary.
That was the night that Roy decided to never again order from an obviously drunk bartender.
When he got his Bloody Mary, he immediately realized something was off. It wasn't until a few minutes and half a glass later that he realized what it was.
"Hey," Roy called the bartender over. "I ordered a Bloody Mary and a Virgin, not two Virgins."
The bartender looked at him as though he had grown another head. "Yeah. I have the Bloody over to the short one."
Roy looked over at Ed, who looked every not-good, and then was at his nearly-empty glass.
"Why in the hell did you give it to him?" he demanded, and without waiting for an answer, he grabbed Ed and slung him over his shoulder.
"You didn't pay!"
"I'm not going to!"
Roy had driven half way to his home, when an angry look passed over Ed's face. "I'm not short!"
Roy laid Ed down in his bed. "Don't move," Roy demanded. "I'm going to get some Asprine for the morning."
He left the room, and came back immediately. "You can move if you need to throw up. The bathroom is through that door."
"Stupid Mustang. Thinks he can tell me what to do? I'll show him."
Ed stood up and stumbled out of the house.
Envy recognized him instantly. He had been on duty to watch him for the past two months, afterall.
He had just never seen the Fullmetal Brat quiet like this.
When he saw Ed stumble in the way of a huge truck, he had been tempted to leave him.
Until he remembered that That Person would destroy him, even if it wasn't his fault.
He grabbed Ed's arm and pulled him into himself just as the truck drove past.
"Hey, Shorty. What's the matter with you?"
Ed stomped on his foot. "I'm nod shord!"
"Of course you're not. Sorry about that, Shorty," Envy said, fighting back the tears of pain and swearing to himself that he was going to kill Ed when he made the stone. That was the one thing that kept him from ripping out Ed's left leg right then and there on the spot.
"Tha's bedder," Ed said triumphantly.
"You're not... drunk, are you?" Envy asked cautiously.
"'Course not, pretty lady," Ed grinned. "I dun drunk."
Envy grinned widely, then dragged Ed off to a cheap motel.
Con Crit more than welcome. Flames will be mocked.