I now own a respectable set of tires!

Sadly, that is all for now. Unless you count Reces cups, in which case I have thr..two.

Once again, thank you all for your reviews!


"A$$ Whore Humping Bastard"...

I like it! A lot! Seriously, I told it to my sister and we derived its desired meaning ( I think). And then we had a contest to see who could come up with the most random, undesireable tid-bit name to instill a mental image. We actually came up with some pretty great ones while we were lost when driving around down-town.

But I can't list them or I would be booted off this site...


And Mary called her dad a "black-buttholed beaver"!

:cracks up until she pees her pants:


:wipes the tears from her eyes:

I probably scared away half my readers with that one...

Hoo. Ahem.

Anyways...I hope you like this chapter! It continues with the giddy fluff obscenities. Some inspiration for which came from the wonderful, awesome Scarlet Moonlight::winks at her:


Chapter 6

Yet'rin gagged at the foul breath seeping from the creatures opened jaws, and used his one free hand to press the gruesome orifice as far from his own face as possible. For a moment, he wished his mask had the capability of blocking the stench. It was distracting, to say the least.

In the distance, he could hear the tell-tale growls and crashes of combatants clashing, clawing, shrieking at each other in the darkness. His friends and the creatures were locked in a gruesome battle, the same purpose coursing through their minds and veins:

To gain the upper hand. And win.

And stay alive! With all the strength he could muster, Yet'rin planted a kick at the monster's belly, desperately trying to gain a moment to un-pin his arm. The blow threw his opponent off balance, but did not send it flying across the room as he had hoped. The shift of weight allowed him the second he needed to regain the use of both his arms, however, and he pitched the creature with a rough blow at it's bony shoulders.

Yet'rin heard the resulting clamor of the sleek insect-like husk of a body as it collided with the chamber's wall. Not a breath's length of time passed before it was on its feet again.

The hunter could feel it's glare upon him.

With a clipped gesture, he motioned for it to advance towards him again. If it felt up to such a proposition. He leered a couple of words, maintaining the creature's gaze. He was pretty sure his meaning had gotten across.

With a malignant hiss the ebony monstrosity was once again trying to claw out his innards.


"I hate the monster!"

Yet'rin cast a half glance down at the human child, mildly annoyed at being interrupted again, yet also vaguely curious. The comment seemed very curious to him. The boy had never even seen the creature of which he proclaimed such distaste. And likewise, the creature had not ever harmed him.

"Why?" the hunter inquired of the boy.

"Because it was hurting you." Trent's tone suggested his words were of a most obvious content.

"I don't like it either," Melody chipped in. She tucked the blanket tightly around her toes. With interest she looked up at the hunter and inquired:

"Did you get a boo boo?"

She tried to visualize the nasty creature. An obscure threatening blob formed in her mind. She imagined it growling with sharp, un-brushed teeth. That glowed in the dark. It waved a fuzzy-menacing limb.

"Did it have claws?"

Yet'rin pondered that for a minute.

"Yes, I suppose it did."

"And sharp teeth?"

"Sort of."

"What color was it?"


"Yes. Like red or blue or green…"

"I…don't remember." The yautja lied. He was in no mood to explain he didn't interpret color as they did.

"Oh. Well…was it big? Much bigger than us?" She used her little hands to gesture at herself and her sibling. Yet'rin almost laughed. How many questions was the girl-child going to ask?

"Fairly large. Yes."

"Did it look scary?"


"Was it ugly?"

"I…suppose." He has never really thought about it…

"Did it try to eat you?"


"Ew. And did…?"

"Did it smell like Melody?"

The little boy burst out laughing. Yet'rin considered his question, not recognizing the insult.

Melody fumed.

"I bet it smelled like YOU. SMELLY!"

"Blah! I bet it looked like you too, a little."

"Oh yeah? I bet it would like you because you're both DUMB. And….and mean!" The girl huffed at her brother. He looked like he was about to retort something more, but fell silent at a chuckle from Yet'rin.

"Should I continue? Or are you two ready to sleep now?" the hunter asked.

As he suspected, they quieted immediately, though their eyes pierced at each other in the darkness. He was glad there was not much more to tell. It felt very strange, to say the least, pan-caked between the two small creatures. Alone and reclining on the roof sounded pretty good…


With some satisfaction, Yet'rin returned the menacing gestures of his opponent. He dodged another whip-like stab of its barbed tail, then swiped an arm across it's midsection. Two wrist-blade incisions sizzled visually, and there was a shriek of pain.

The problem was, he couldn't figure if it was his or the monster's.

Stupid, stupid!

He mentally chided himself for being so careless. His own abdomen steamed in protest of the acidic liquid collecting there. Desperate, the hunter tried to roll over, out of the way. He wouldn't have any guts left if he didn't break away from the streaming, eroding substance.

The creature was still shrieking, out of pain or fury, it was unapparent. Yet'rin could tell it was dying. Its strength was already ebbing, limbs flailing with less coordination. But it looked like it was committed to returning the favor.

He felt his own vision wavering. The pain in his torso was excruciating, and his arms were weakening as if in response. He didn't even have to look to tell that his wristblades were useless at best now.


With a grunt, Yet'rin pulled out his serrated disk. The thought of more acid pouring on his skin hindered his inclination to sink the edges deep into the monster's flesh.

He had to finish it, though.

He WOULD be the victor!

With a quick flick of his hand, the weapon sliced through the creatures neck, its body now too weak for a defensive reaction or maneuver. Defiant to the end, it remained glaring murderously down upon its opponent, even in death.

Yet'rin managed to roll over as the head rolled to one side and the corpse dropped to the ground, adding to the mounting pool of fluid and muck.

The hunter forced himself to his knees, and out of the path of any acidic substances lingering nearby. The movement brought near-blindness and he cringed as the chamber's stale air caressed his wounds. But after a moment, he smiled.

He had won.

A hand clapped on his shoulder, and Retshi'rk was leaning heavily against the wall beside him.

"Fun, eh?"

"Always." He could see the forms of his other companions tottering around the chamber now. It looked like none had escaped battle injuries, although Damat looked a little better for the wear than the others did. Yet'rin watched as he leaned down and severed a section of his prey's tail, examining it briefly, then setting it aside. He began releasing the clasps on his mask.

With pride, the other's in the chamber did the same.

It as good to be alive.


"So you and your friends beat them all…" Melody mused, after the hunter had finished his story. She would never tell, but she was glad they all made it.

Trent nodded in contentment.

"That was a good story."

"It was a good hunt…" Yet'rin smiled briefly. He stood up to leave, mumbling a 'goodnight' and headed out the door.

The cooler air outside the cabin was somewhat of a comfort from the small, enclosed interior of the dwelling. He could hear the leaves scraping against each other, jostled by the slight breeze.

With a heavy sigh he leapt up to the roof and proceeded to recline in the moonlight, content to be alone again. For the moment. With a deffinite lack of favor, he considered the possibilities of what lay ahead. The most immediate dilemma being what to do about food for the children.

If this planet was anything like his own, consumer-structure speaking, there would be a place where one could purchase or exchange items for food. The problem was locating this place. And finding a way to get what was necessary without being noticed...

What fun.

With a bitter expression, Yet'rin forced his mind to other subjects. He searched his mind for something palatable to his thoughts. Something pleasant to distract him from the blaring, unpleasant mayhaps of NOW.

With slight disinclination, he let his mind wander back to that particular hunt.

His retelling of the events had only served to liven the memory in his mind. Ruefully, he closed his eyes and brought images of the time into focus.

If only it could have continued like that.

It could have.

If this hunt hadn't turned out so wretchedly...


Yet'rin sat upright and llistened intently to the night's chatter. Had he heard...?


The hunter's shoulders sagged. Yes, as he thought...

He hopped down from the roof, more than a little perturbed. What could possibyl have gone wrong in the few minutes since he came outside?

Silently, he slipped in the door and crept over to the make-shift bed of comforters and pillows. To his surprise, there were not two, but ONE shaking form huddled benath the covers. This couldn;t be good...

He pulled the cloth off.

And was met with a torrent of child-shrieks layered with fright. Yet'rin almost jumped back, suprised at the vocal onslaught.

Once he regained his voice:

"What is it?"

Melody just sobbed. Trent looked up fearfully, his arms still around his sister.

"W...We're scared!"

Great. Not this all over again...Yet'rin sighed.



"What, then?"

"The monster."

This can't be happening...

"The one in my story?"

HIccup. "Yes."



Yet'rin sat down with a thump, and rested his face in his hands tiredly.

"What will...make you feel...safe?"

Trent fell silent, staring at his idol with huge, shiny eyes. Melody was looking at him too. She wiped a fist across her face.

"Will you...protect us?" she asked.

"Yes." Yet'rin replied, still not understanding what he was to protect them from. Feeling that he had closed the matter he, once more, got up to leave. But by the time he reached the doorway he was sporting some interesting arm wear.

"You said you'd protect us!"

"Don't leave!"

"I am just going outside. I do this every night. I'll still protect you."

"No! Stay inside with us!"



"Please sleep with us! What if the monster comes in here during the night?"


"What if it DOES?"


Expressionless, the hunter returned to the blanketed section of the floor and sat down. He watched silently as the children situated themselves unecessarily CLOSE to him once again and passed into slumber without further fuss.

Between the muted murmers and chitters of their blissful slumber,Yet'rin realized that every deity in existence (if they did in fact, exist) had to bereally, REALLY upset with him.