A/N: More Jeroen angst (this could soon be a well flogged horse), but with some Apollo/Midnighter thrown in. The Jeroen-fancies-Apollo theme is something I like, and will probably expand on in the future. It allows for both Jeroen angst and Apollo/Midnighter, though I know I'll never manage to resolve in a way that leaves all of them happy.

Disclaimers: None of the Authority characters belong to me, and I'm making no money from this.

Warnings: Heavy smut, voyeurism, heavy angst

The security room on the Carrier would show you any section of the huge ship, if you knew how to ask. The Doctor, ex computer software expert extraordinaire, knew precisely how to ask. As much as he'd hated that portion of his life, he knew how to take something useful away from it. If you could call spying on his teammates in a fit of boredom useful. He did, ever since Midnighter had destroyed his bong and smashed his pipes.

He lingered on Angie in the bath until Jack Hawksmoor entered the frame, he watched Shen meditate and was surprised at the calm it inspired in him, he smiled at Jenny Q ignoring the most recent expensive walking talking doll to play with blocks. In that final scene, he could also see the child gates up around the room, and the careful removal of anything dangerous or breakable. Apollo and Midnighter, it seemed, were engaged elsewhere.

Not in the bath, not in the kitchen, not in the bedroom… Ah, there was Apollo. Tucked in one of the corridors that held together his large apartment, sitting in the curve of a window and staring out at the Bleed. Those lozenge shaped windows, curving outwards, had always made Jeroen feel like he was at an aquarium.

Apollo was wearing casual clothes, loose slacks and a shirt obviously intended to be just as ample. He'd noticed the tightness as well, one of the down sides of being a well built superhero being the issue of clothes that fit. He unbuttoned it with one hand, exposing a pale stretch of muscular chest. He wasn't at his best at the moment having been away from sunlight for several days, but he was reaching that languid point where he was at his most amiable.

Jeroen unconsciously licked his lips.

Apollo, abandoning his shirt altogether, made himself more comfortable in the window, bring his legs up onto the ledge and slouching into an almost U-shape. He ran a hand across his bare chest, pausing on one nipple to pinch and play, a little. He looked as though he wasn't paying any attention to what he was doing, but those loose slacks were beginning to develop the same issues as the shirt had.

Jeroen held his breath.

Apollo licked one finger, and ran it around his nipple again. A slight smile settled on his face and yet again he resettled himself in the window. He pressed one hand to his own crotch, kneading it slightly. He looked around, frowned briefly, and then pushed the trousers down. He looked around again and sighed. No Midnighter, here. Mid might boast he hadn't had a wank in god knows how many years, but Apollo occasionally lacked his partner's patience. Midnighter was meant to be there, as evidenced by Apollo's lack of underwear, but Jenny had asked him to fetch a toy from the meeting room and, as always, he did what their daughter asked.

Jeroen let his breath out in one long woosh, staring at the erection Apollo was neglecting.

After one final hopeful look around, Apollo wrapped a large hand around his huge erection, and began to pump it methodically. His head fell back against the window and his eyes closed. He teased himself, running a finger around the head and massaging his own balls. He mouthed a name.

"Starting without me?" a voice interrupted two people's fantasies. Jeroen tried to deny the disappointment flooding through him, though he accepted the fact his own erection was throbbing painfully.

"Mid," Apollo said warmly, opening his arms. "You took your time."

Midnighter held up one finger and disappeared from shot again. Jeroen tried to enjoy his last minutes of Apollo all to himself, but it was spoiled now. He slipped his hand inside his stained trousers and fondled himself, leaning back in the chair to enjoy to last segment of his personal porn video. One day he'd watch it all without touching himself, and then he'd know it was finally over.

Midnighter reappeared and leant against the wall over Apollo. Apollo made a brief effort to stretch up and kissed him, but gave up quickly with a smile and beckoned Midnighter down. Moving to straddle Apollo on the narrow window ledge, Midnighter bent over and kissed him thoroughly. As Apollo himself had done, Midnighter toyed with Apollo's nipples, arcing his back to suck at them. Apollo's smile broadened and his eyes fluttered, but he was obviously past this kind of foreplay.

Midnighter, still fully dressed as usual in his uniform, ground against Apollo's bared erection. Apollo made some abortive attempts to pull off that thick leather, but settled for the helmet. They kissed again, hard and hot and passionate. Midnighter slipped a hand between them to caress Apollo's dick, and then, in a remarkable feat of flexibility, moved to suck it. Bent almost double, crouched over Apollo like some feeding beast, he took the whole length at once. Jeroen's throat ached just watching.

Apollo's fingers clawed at Midnighter's trousers, determined not to be shamed by neglecting him, but Midnighter batted him away. Apollo blushed under the attention, not aware of how much he was actually receiving, and let Midnighter do what he liked. Midnighter's tongue would flash into view occasionally, and once his white teeth caught the red light from the bleed. Apollo obviously loved the variations, groaning and writhing. His head slipped sideways, out of the curve of the window, and his hair hung loose and long. Midnighter put a hand on his shoulder, keeping Apollo from collapsing to the floor and himself from collapsing over Apollo.

Apollo came, thrusting up into Midnighter's mouth. He fell back into the window, eyes fixed on Midnighter's sweating face. He cocked his head to one side, eyes half open, smiling. Jeroen wanted to kiss that wide wet mouth so badly. He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed deeply, stroking himself and bucking his hips into his closed fist. When he looked again that face he dreamt off was obscured by Midnighter's head. Jealous burned through him.

He couldn't hear what was being said now, but he could see lips moving. Apollo was soliciting Midnighter for something. Midnighter was either laughing or crying, judging by the shaking of his shoulders. Still kneeling, he straightened up and undid his trousers, pushing them down to show his arse, so muscular it looked square. Apollo pulled himself up until he was almost sitting while Midnighter braced himself with both hands against the top of the window.

Jeroen was glad he couldn't see Midnighter's face. He watched Apollo's head bob back and forth, wishing he could see his face a little better. Jeroen tapped a handful of keys and zoomed in, praying neither man would notice the whirring of the camera. He hadn't risked this before, but he needed to be closer. He needed to be there. His whole body throbbed with the need. His hatred for Midnighter, his love for Apollo, his insane pure need for something. Usually he'd shut himself in his room and take whatever he could get his hands on, but sometimes he couldn't help himself. It only made everything worse, but when the come downs were too heavy and too dark and he knew he had to cut back on the drugs he couldn't imagine any other release.

He came as Midnighter did, hating the other man with every fibre of his being. Apollo was smiling and swallowing and this close Jeroen could see the touch of moisture in his eyes and the love. The image blurred in front of Jeroen's eyes and he swiped at them angrily. He was even angry with Apollo now, for making him feel this way.

Midnighter was pulling up and closing his trousers now. He climbed off Apollo and helped the other man to his feet. Jeroen didn't dare change the focus of the camera again, and was left with a view of two torsos. Apollo and Midnighter kissed and touched, holding each other for a post coital moment. Midnighter pulled up Apollo's trousers and murmured something in his ear. Apollo grinned at him and kissed his cheek.

"I'll go check on Jenny first, okay? Feel free to start without me, this time," he chuckled.

Midnighter watched him go, and once gone he picked up Apollo's shirt and held it, for a moment. He looked up, straight into the camera.

"You didn't think I wouldn't notice, did you?" he said softly. Jeroen swallowed nervously. How long would it take Midnighter to get up there? He didn't have time to run. Midnighter was going to pop his eyeballs out through the back of his head and crush his balls into pulp, and that would just be the ironic starters. "You're getting sloppy," Midnighter went out. Jeroen cherished the cautious hope that Midnighter sounded more amused than angry, but to his broken heart it was just his nemesis rubbing salt into the wound. "I know where you are, and I know what you're doing, Angie."

Even in his utter relief Jeroen couldn't summon a smile. In the empty room, he voiced a wordless scream.