Kiss Me, I'm Horny

Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha, nor do we own any piece of Sesshomaru's hot body, as much as we'd like to though. We make no profits with our fangirly attempts at concocting stories and nor do we think you'd get any money out of us if you were to sue us. We're broke.

Saturn's notes: Oh the sick sense of irony! What more can I say?

Rheyne's notes: Yay! The first project from Saturn and myself. We hope you enjoy our sick sense of humor and the mmm mmm lemony goodness. Well no, there's no lemon, but blah, it's just sick, twisted humor. Blah ok I'll shut up.

Chapter 1: Take Me Over

"I've got you now, pretty boy." She whispered breathily in his ear as she pinned him against the ancient tree. He continued to struggle in vain to get free as she inched closer and closer until he could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his.

"Let go of me, you stupid wench!" He growled menacingly, eyes ablaze with rage, baring his fangs like a predator about to capture its prey (oh the irony of it all).

"No, no, not so fast." She purred seductively. "Can't you feel it?" One slender finger traced his jawbone, stopping to rest on his dry lips. "My fever's getting high." She breathed in hoarsely.

The heat from her skin radiated into his flesh and momentarily caused sensory overload. Conflagration of electric heat sent involuntary shudders through his nerves. And he was losing himself (If only he had a tail to wag…poor doggy…).

"Damn it!" He spat, recovering from the shallow haze her intoxicating perfume induced. "I said; get your filthy paws off of me!" And with a sudden push, she was off of him and back on the ground, landing gracefully on her feet.

"So you like it rough, do you?" She smirked, dangling the locket she had just pilfered from his neck. "Fine by me."

"You wench, give that back!" Recognizing the locket containing Kagome's picture (movie reference), he seethed with unfurled anger like a rabid dog (which he kind of is).

She seemed to be amused. Opening the locket, she saw a picture of a young girl. "So, is this your wench?" She said with a haughty laugh. "She's not half the woman I am." She fiddled with the locket carelessly.

"Shut up, you damn cat demon!" With a grunt he unsheathed Tetsusaiga and prepared to bestow upon the slick demon her final deliverance.

"Well, then, come and get it, if you will." She leaped across the distance to corner him once more.

Sensing an opportunity, he unleashed the full might of the Tetsusaiga on to the ground and blew back the cat demon off her course several feet and he followed up by knocking her to the ground.

She attempted to rise to her feet to no avail. The strike had immobilized her and left her defenseless. She lay there upon the ground taking shallow breaths, still clutching the locket in her tightly locked hand.

He advanced towards her resting form to retrieve his precious locket. He reached down to grab it, not wanting to waste anymore time than he had already. Unbeknownst to him, she wasn't so defenseless after all. Suddenly she grabbed his arm and pulled him onto her.

"You cannot escape me so easily, Inuyasha." She murmured into his ear as she forcefully held his head down next to her own.

Her warm breath tickled his neck and his eyes widened with surprise as he felt her moist tongue draw invisible circles on his sweltering skin. Ever so slowly, her demonic fangs sunk into his flesh. Sensation after sensation convulsed his entire being as raw heat spread through his body; the blood rushing to his head.

"Here, take it." She whispered huskily into his ear as she pressed the locket into his palm and pushed him off her. "Inuyasha!" She exclaimed as she rose to her feet regally. "Nothing but true love will separate us." Her form began to fade into the landscape. "Until next time, Farwell, my pet (mon petit)." And she was gone.

Breaking out of his reverie, he raised two fingers to his neck and traced the mark the cat demon had left. The memory of the occurrence was a bittersweet one.

'Well, now that was certainly interesting.' He contemplated. 'Now to get back…back…oh shit! I'm supposed to be waiting for Kagome to return.'

And upon that thought, his keen sense of smell picked up a very familiar scent nearby, specifically, right behind him.

"Damn." Fearing the worst, he tentatively turned back to face whatever horror his cruel fate had in store for him.

"What the hell was that all about, Inu-trasha?!"

Rheyne's notes (again): Well, there it is. Hope you've enjoyed it. If you're unsure of what's going on, don't worry; all will soon be revealed! Please tell us what you thought of it. We definitely do love feedback. And we hope you'll come back for the next chapter.