Pete's too fat.

Author S. S. Harry

Rating: K

Summary: I'm a Peter fan, but I feel like making fun of the boy right about now. Enjoy! R&R I command you!

Peter Pettigrew was fat and short.

This was before he joined that idiot Voldermort

He was much too small for Big & Tall

But much too fat for the Baby Gap

So His mother gave up and said one day

"I'll let him be naked so he'd be on his way"

Peter went to school naked and that night

No one ate their dinner, It wasn't a pretty sight

Several first year ran away in fright

Slytherins leered, trying to start a fight

Most embarrassed if all was his dear friend Prongs,

cause to get eyes off Peter, he showed everyone his thong

Remus was scared and Sirius just didn't care

Because he "somehow" knew of Prongs stringy underwear

Poor Lily Evans stared into the heavens

Her fist grabbing the collar of the drunken reverend

"Why me god Why me?" she sadly cried.

Everyone ignored her comments ending them with a sigh.

Silently we stared at Peter saying "why Peter, why?"

"How come you never just seem to die?"

People yelled and the fought and they cursed and they swore

as owls flew about the place chanting "Never More, Never More"

attention left Peter and went to the front doors

Because Snape just walked in, with three pretty blonde whores.