An Elseworlds Adventure of "Epic" Portions
By Sailor Lilith-chan
Author's Note: Alternate Universe are known for make inhumans humans and putting them in high school or so that is what we know. Elseworlds is a comic book creation that takes the heroes and puts them in a different time. In other words, Wonder Woman remains an Amazon and not some ordinary student who happens to have the name of Diana Prince. Vash and Knives will remain Plants and brothers. The setting is Earth, the time is the future. And this is the tale of the cast in a modern day setting. Pairings may be possible Wolfwood/Milly, even some pairings of the same sex kind. Odd numbered chapters will be first person memoirs from Wolfwood and even-number chapters will be story. And I promise to finish up my other stuff. Hopefully. "Letters from the Wasteland" and "Jersey City Blue" need to be finished and I need to start "Sanity Crackers" and I have others works in progress. Oh, and Leblanc is AnonymousTrigunOtaku's provided name for Midvalley.
I. Grey Sky Mornings in the Grey City
My name is Nicholas D. Wolfwood and I'm a minister of the Episcopal Church of St. Marks of Grey City. It's a living, but not much of living. I rather call myself a minister than a priest. Mostly because most people associate priests with the Catholic Church, ya' know?
So I got up in the early hours of the day. I'm really not a morning person, but the sky goes a little pinkish before going to the grey of the sky like everyday in this sprawling Mega-ultra-superduper-city. Than I go back to sleep for another few hours.
Hey, I told you, I'm not a morning person! What do you want out of me?
Vash tells me that the sky used to be blue. Which is before he starts lamenting his lost to a car crash first love who was in a way like his mother (creepy Vash, very creepy) and I have to perk him back up by driving him over to the nearest donut shop and ordering him three dozen donuts.
Vash, whose full name is Vash Alexander Saverem by the way, knows these sorts of things. He is one hundred and thirty-three after all. And if you don't believe me, look at his driver license. And if you still don't believe that someone looking just twenty-four could be that old, well, Vash is a Plant Angel. A Freeborn, one-hundred percent, immortal Plant Angel. My great-grandma kept articles of the first freeborn Plant births.
There were three of them. A little girl and a pair of nearly matched twin boys. Vash, his brother Knives, and the little girl Tessla. Not born at the same time. Tessla's a year older.
Now over a century later, Vash tells me that Tessla is the corporate owner of a huge conglomerate and Knives is a hermit. Now, you're probably asking how could only one of the first Freeborns go nutty when mental illness is an epidemic among Freeborn Plants.
Who said that Tessla and Vash were all right?
Official prognosis from their medical records: Tessla has obsessive-compulsive disorder, Knives has Schizophrenia, and Vash is a bipolar. And a lush. Vash, I mean, not the other two.
Speaking of which, I never did figure out how someone could look at a squalling newborn they pulled from a Plant Bulb and say, "I'll name you, Knives."
Maybe that Rem Saverem of Vash's was an airhead. Don't let him hear that I said that. He'd bash out my teeth if he heard me say anything about his precious "goddess". He's got a shrine for her in his top-floor penthouse that is paid for him by long-time friends of the Saverem family. The Polos. Max-Simon Xylise Polo happens to be close friend of his. The Max-Simon who does weather reports for the five o'clock and six o'clock news for Channel Eleven, KMAX. In short, Vash is a trust fund kid and doesn't have to work a bit. Meanwhile, I had to pay my way through the seminary working my hands to the bone and Vash had everything handed to him on a platter. Bastard.
Don't get me wrong, Vash "the Stampede" Saverem is one of my best friends. He always knows where the best bars in town are and if you need a mix CD made he'll burn one up on his computer in the second bedroom he never uses. I looked in there once, it looked like something out of a Sci-fi Movie. Weird.
As I'm admiring the sunrise and preparing to climb into bed the phone rang. I picked it up. "Yeah, Wolfwood residence." Someone sniffled into the phone. I recognized that sniffle anywhere. "Vash… for the love of God, did you remember to take your morning dose of Lithium?"
I smacked myself in the head. "Tongari," the nickname I had baptized him with due to his broomstick like upsweep of a hairdo came out of my mouth easily as ever, "Do I have to call you in the morning to remind you to take your meds?"
The next time he spoke, he sounded a bit indignant. "I hate the way they make me feel. No sex drive." He paused. "So I flushed them down the toilet."
I tried walking over to the couch and sitting down, however the stupid attached to the wall corded phone could only be stretched so far. It snapped out of out my hands and sling shot across the small combo living-dining room and made a dent in the wall. I howled and than screamed every curse I knew and some I think I made up on the spot. I picked up the phone. "Did I call at a wrong time?" Vash squeaked.
"It's not you," I sighed, trying to prevent Vash from bursting out in tears. It at times looked comedic and like something out of an Anime, "It's my stupid effing phone."
"I said that I could get you a cell phone," Vash practically crooned, "Remember, I said I would."
Yeah I remember. And you're not the only one. Midvalley Leblanc, my old lover, kept trying to give me a new apartment where the mice and other vermin are nonexistent. God, it makes when want to give up Bisexuality and just become plain straight. "Damnit Vash, I don't need your Immortal Plant charity. I'm doing just fine on my own." Something crawled over my bare foot; I shuddered and started hunting for a pack of cigarettes.
"I could always donate money to your church," he offered.
I found a pack with three cigarettes still in it. I lit it and inhaled sweet cancer. "What makes you think our church is in need of money?"
"Because I've seen it." Ouch, score one for the Immortal Plant Boy in his fancy uptown penthouse. "Wolfwood, are you smoking?"
Vash's voice turned stony on me. "Don't lie to me," he warned, "I know when you are."
How does he do that? "Fine," I said, taking another long drag on my cigarette, "I am."
He audibly sighed on the phone. "I wish you wouldn't smoke."
I was right back with a snappy comeback. "Well, my friend, I wish you wouldn't drink."
"My liver is immortal," he said after a few minutes, "Your lungs are very mortal."
"Aww come on and lighten up," I said, "I think Grey City will kill me first."
"It's called Morningstar," he sighed, "Anyway, I'm going to see my brother this afternoon."
I snickered. "Which one?" He has thousand of brothers, more bulb-bound than the small handful of freeborn boys. I knew he was talking about Knives, but I loved to rile him up. "Gotta be more specific."
"Knives," he snapped, before clearing his throat, "He's got a boyfriend slash lover now and he wants me to meet him."
"How can he meet another person?" I asked, fingering the hole in the wall and visualizing my security deposit flying out the window, "He never goes outside."
"He does at night," Vash chirped, much more cheered up, "I'm meeting him this afternoon. Coming along?"
"I met your twin only once and that was enough," I said, snuffing out my cigarette and wondering if I could plaster up that hole in the wall before management noticed. "I'm going to have say no."
"Oh. Well, talk to you later. Carpe Diem."
"I'm going back to sleep."
He hung up the phone with a click. Sighing, I walked over to the small single bedroom and slumped onto the mattress covered by a few blankets and dirty clothes. Sighing, I burrowed under them and found my pillow. I closed my eyes and found that I was wide-awake.
Carpe Diem Vash had said to me before he hung up. Thanks to him, I was wide-awake and I bet he knew it. I think that was the reason I was in the church before noon. And I have to thank him and curse his name because that might have been the start of all our problems. Or not. I still don't know.
…to be continued.