Title: Finding Desire
Author: Amy Fortuna (amyfortuna@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: *making pleading eyes* J.K., can I have Remus and Sirius? Please? No? Well, then, they ain't mine.
Warnings: None, except for slashiness.
Archive: Yes, please.
Feedback: Of course!
Spoilers" For POA.
Summary: Lupin's actions on *that* night of the full moon.

****

Professor Lupin took tentative steps toward the large mirror in the center of the room. He was alone; he had locked the door behind him before coming in here.

Years ago, when he'd first come to Hogwarts, the Headmaster had taken him into this room to show him the Mirror of Erised. He'd seen himself without the scar from the bite of the werewolf, smiling.

This second trip was by way of a bit of a scientific experiment, he'd told himself; he wanted to see if his desires had changed in twenty years.

Slowly, he pulled away the curtain that hung before the mirror, and gazed into the reflective silver.

And gasped. He was there in the mirror, and he wasn't alone. Behind him stood a man whose face he'd been seeing in his dreams, both happy and sad, for the last twelve years and earlier.

Sirius Black. Remus whirled around as if to apprehend the man, and, upon a glance around the empty room, remembered that the mirror didn't always show what was actually there, just what the gazer wanted to be there.

Sirius. His first friend. His first lover. The betrayer of Lily and James. The man who had escaped from Azkaban, eluded all capture, and was presumed to be on the trail of Harry Potter. Oh, loving him after all these years was dangerous indeed.

He looked back into the mirror, where the reflected Lupin and Black were kissing, clutching at each other's robes.

"Oh," Remus whispered half aloud. "I wish..." He did not complete the sentence.

He drew the curtain over the mirror and left the room, locking it behind him.

****

Back in his office, Remus took the Marauders' Map out of the filing cabinet, watched as it drew itself over the blank parchment, and glanced it over.

Yes, there was Snape in his office, Dumbledore in his quarters, Harry Potter in the Gryffindor...wait, Harry wasn't in the Common Room, and neither was Ron Weasley or Heromine Granger.

He looked the Map over closely...ah, there was Harry, with his friends, out on the grounds, apparently walking back from Hagrid's hut. But they weren't alone.

Peter Pettigrew! How on earth...? Peter was dead, how could this be?

"Peter's not dead?" he asked almost out loud. "But what does this..."

He paused as another name moved toward the small group of people walking back to Hogwarts.

Sirius Black...! The group split up, Peter, Ron, and Sirius going into the Whomping Willow passage, Harry and Heromine remaining where they were.

And Remus forgot it was the night of the full moon, forgot about the dementors, forgot about everything, and ran out of the castle into the night.

If Peter was alive, Sirius hadn't killed him. And if Sirius hadn't killed Peter, he must not have betrayed James and Lily!

It was Peter who must have been the Potter's Secret-Keeper, who had betrayed them -- not Sirius! Not Sirius!

Sirius was innocent! Remus almost laughed out loud as he ducked into the tunnel and raced along the passageway to his destiny, his desire, his lover.

~end~