It was so hard to remember that there were detrimental things to be done when they were together. It was easy to see he thought that way more than her. Her whole life was wrought by duty and she naturally accepted. Everyone had a place, had a thing to do, and this was hers.
When they met, he was somewhat impressed by the way she handled herself. Very professional; serious...so serious. She never smiled for him until he got to know her after a while. It was easy to tell they didn't trust much or well. Both endured much isolation and many hardships to jade them. She managed to keep her head in most of it while he was the opposite
He didn't know what drew him to her. Sure she was beautiful, but looks never held much stock for him. There was a force she represented more than just her powers. She was sophisticated, calm, and poised. To have that mix with the inner being of her personality magnified everything about her. It was easy to see why she got along well with others. People respected her and children never bothered her.
He always felt a need to be near and watch her. It snuck up on him quickly, but he made no excuses. She calmed him.
She knew there were times when he watched, even if he tried to hide it. When she made to talk to him, he took the bait to be near her. It was nice sitting inches away and sometimes his heart would accelerate and his stomach flutter. He knew what it was and that nervousness made it hard for him to say anything. He didn't want to do something embarrassing to someone like her. Just being near made him feel like a child.
It was silly to think she figured him a child in personality, even if he tended to have the wild emotions of one. She tolerated it all and when he first opened up, he didn't see it coming. She slowly taught him things he knew about, but wouldn't have bothered with. There was such a difference when comparing before and after they met. He changed in little ways, not really discernable unless one really looked. That was the power of her aura.
There was the most horrible feeling when they were forced to part. He felt something he couldn't name and felt it so much it was such a blow inside. Even when she came back and he got to see her, she hadn't changed. Had he expected her to? Did he think she would give up everything and be with him? Sure they planned, but fate is as cruel as it is kind.
He forgave her for all the words said and actions done after knowing what was going on. He understood what she had to do, but it was still so hard. He never felt like this before and was hesitant to give it up. He didn't think she really understood his feelings, but she accepted them.
He thought about her a lot - it was almost impossible not to. He was loyal to her, even with so much going on. He often wondered where she was and what she was doing. At times, he wanted to pick up and leave everything to see her; to be near her. It was impossible, though not TOTALLY foolhardy, due to similar tasks they shared. They had very little in common, but this was one of them.
It was painful every time she turned her back on him - no matter what way - for duty. He still wanted to be near her, but he understood. She had a job to do; so did he. But his feelings wouldn't be denied. Part of him wished to be with her after everything was over, but that was the hopeful side talking. He couldn't see the future, but natural pessimism told him not to keep bothering. He felt the longer they were apart, the more she changed.
"Inuyasha, gohan da."
He looked across the short stretch, eyeing his companion. Things continued with him in her place and this girl in his. She didn't compare by far and some part wanted to push her away for his first choice. But he was intrigued about her. What was it about him that drew this girl? He wasn't anything special and considered himself rather odd.
They had a rocky start, that was undeniable. They spent a lot of time together since that first meeting, making him slightly uncomfortable. He managed to get past some of it the more he was with this girl, but the second he knew SHE was around, he left this for another.
They were doing the same thing with different genders. In thinking about it this much, responsibility and depth of feeling were being turned around. He was steeped in the same responsibility he felt was rival for her attention in the beginning. Now he chose between this person, his first interest, and the responsibility surrounding her. It was his turn to be serious and professional...even if he wasn't calm.
He watched this girl and thought her somewhat childish in the same level he used to worry about. He managed to mature even a little since that first meeting and assumed the girl would too. They had some things in common, but still about as much as he and his interest. Part of him hoped to make a friend out of this new companion, but the rest felt like it was a waste of time. Being alone after such minute changes unsettled him.
He didn't know what would happen in the future. Who knew how long this would take or who they would meet. He kind of wished to foresee it, or at least be there. Drama entered his life naturally, mostly without his wish...sprinkled since his birth. If there was a chance at an ending, whether happy or sad, he'd take either one and deal with it.
- - - - -
This takes place somewhere before ep 48 in the anime. I suddenly thought about my most recent 'romantic interest' (if it's even to that high of a level) and realized I'm in Inuyasha's position and he's in Kikyou's. This is somewhat going on in my life now if you take the genders and flip them around. That made it pretty easy to write. lol