- Plot? What plot? -
- By Digitaldreamer –
- Insane story one- Agent 007 and a half: Sora -
Umm…Hi guys;;; Yes, yes, I know, you guys want Broken Rainbow right? I –really- want to type it, but you see, I got a new computer. Now, all of my Broken Rainbow stuff, the chapter I was working on, the plot outline, everything is on my old computer. So until I can get my stuff, the next chapter of Broken Rainbow is a no go.
(Auron whacks Crys over head in his customary fashion. "Of course, we wouldn't be stuck on a seemly permanent cliffhanger if –someone- hadn't spent her entire ungrounded summer reading Lord of The Rings fics!" "…Oh hush.." )
So until then, I figure I'll start my other series. What are these series? "Plot, what plot!?" Basically, it's a collection of short little KH stories. Some of em might be humorous, some might be a bit more serious, and me being me, there will be some angsty ones. Many will star Sora, but you can bet several will star the FF characters, seeing as now that I've played some of their games I feel far more attached to them. Hey, maybe if you all review enough I'll make a Riku one.
(Auron snorts. "And perhaps I will begin to wear pink bunny ears." "Shut up you.")
So yeah, let's begin with the first of the craziness!
(Suggested listening music would be the Mission Impossible theme XDDDD)
The rain pattered against the cobblestone streets of Traverse Town. Thunder boomed. Any person with any brains was inside, unless those said brain cells had already been drowned.
Now, Leon (Squall, some called him, before they were murdered in an extremely painful way) Leonhart was one of those with brains, therefore he was inside the small house, sitting in a chair, polishing his Gunblade.
It should be noted that the small house really wasn't so small anymore. He and Cid had gotten a bit drunk (To Aerith's extreme disapproval) and they had knocked down a few walls (Which Aerith has disapproved of even more..) and they discovered there was a lot of empty space there. Cid, being the chain-smoking (Aerith disapproved of this as well) crazy building person that he was, decided to pretty much remodel the small house, taking all that extra space discovered during the destruction of the walls, and making it into various rooms. So now instead of a tiny bedroom place, they had a living room, a kitchen, and a giant upstairs with rooms for everyone. (Aerith approved for this, which made up for all her previous disapprovals)
So anyway, Leon was polishing his gunblade, admiring its sharp pointy-ness. No man, at least back in Hallow Bastion and here in Traverse Town, was a true man unless they had something sharp and pointy and knew how to do some decent damage with it. This is why that fat guy, who stands by the door in the first distract to the third distract, this is why his gender is disputable, because the sharpest, pointiest thing he owns is a toothpick. This is also why that man lives in his mother's basement…yes, moving on.
Leon squinted at his reflection in the blade, not quite sure it was shiny enough, when he was distracted by a crimson and blue-jeaned blur rushing past him, humming something extremely loudly.
"Da da dun, dun dun. Da da dun, dun dun..Da da DUN DUN DUN!"
The leather-clad man looked up from his inspection of shiny-ness, one thought passing through his mind. "What the HELL?"
He looked back to see Sora sneaking along the wall, clad in a red hoodie and a baggy pair of blue jeans. (His change of outfit was due to the fact that he was one of those lacking brains who chose to go outside.) He also wore a pair of over-sized sunglasses, and a super soaker was clutched in his hands, and was humming the mission-impossible theme so loudly whatever type of stealth he was attempting was failing miserably.
"Da da dun, dun dun. Da da dun, dun da dun dun…"
It was then that Yuffie chose to walk out of the kitchen, passing the fourteen-year old, whom let out a gasp and pressed himself against the wall.
"Da da DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN…"
The female ninja raised a brow as she stopped and stared at him. "..Sora? The hell?"
"GAH! I'VE BEEN SPOTTED! ABORT MISSION!" Sora promptly pointed his weapon at the girl and shot her in the face with a blast of icy water.
"ACK!" Yuffie sputtered, attempting to shield her face with her hands. The Keyblade Master took this chance and bolted back up the stairs to his room, slamming the door behind him.
Leon blinked, rising from his seat and setting down his weapon as he walked over to the soaked ninja.
"That little….when I get him..grrr…" Yuffie muttered, shaking her head in an attempt to get it dry.
"What was that all about?" Leon inquired, raising a brow.
The ninja sighed, turning to him. "He's been like this all day, insane."
"…what'd he eat?"
"One of Cids 'cookies'."
"…..aw shit." Oh yes, Leon recalled the last time anyone besides Cid had eaten what the veteran pilot called 'food'. The dreaded "Noodle incident", as they referred to it, was something that would haunt Leon's mind for the rest of his days…
"I just don't get it, Cid eats them and he's fine."
"He's been eating them his entire life, he's immune to it."
"I see. Well, either way, we've managed to prevent any serious damage…but..Aerith made cookies too. I really don't want to see the results of that much sugar combined with the effects of Cid's 'cooking'."
Leon considered the scene for a moment. The house in flames, bodies everywhere, spray paint on the wall…….noodles….he shuddered.
"You're right, we have to keep Sora away from those cookies, no matter what."
Sora pressed himself against his door, eavesdropping upon Yuffie and Leon's conversation. He whipped out a tape recorder and turned it on, and began to speak into it.
"This is Agent 007 and a half, Sora. I escaped, but they know I'm here now. They're sending enemy agents after me. I'll have to be more careful. But I have no time to worry for my own safety. Operation: Get Cookie will prevail!"
With this said, Sora thrust open the door, Super Soaker in hand, and dove across the hallway into the open doorway to Yuffies room. Just as he entered, Leon turned around, unknowingly just missing view of Agent 007 and a half.
"Yuffie, his door's open! GO!" Both of the enemy agents surged into what they didn't know was an enemy room.
Agent 007 and a half smirked. "The agents fell for it…" He whispered into the tape recorder. "I'm heading down!"
He sped out of the room and jumped onto the banister of the stairs, sliding down it, humming the mission impossible theme quietly. He landed with a soft thump, wincing at the sound. Sora jumped back, throwing open a closet door and stuffing himself inside it and shutting it just as Yuffie came down the stairs.
"…he's not down here Squall!" Agent 007 and a half heard the enemy agent call up the stairs to her partner. He allowed himself to grin, in spite of being smushed against the vacuum cleaner and a broom.
The agent eased open the closet, looking back and forth, and then darted across the hallway to a wall. Pressing himself against the green striped wallpaper, he began to creep along the wall, towards the room where his target was held.
Sora peeked his head around the frame of the kitchen and beheld his goal within sight! A tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, sitting on the table, cooling. Agent 007 and a half smirked, holding the tape recorder to his mouth. "Target in sight. Appears to be freshly baked, chocolate chip, and delicious. I'm going in!"
The Keyblade Master threw himself upon the ground and began to army crawl over the linoleum floor, inching slowly towards the kitchen table in the center of the room. Closer….closer……..almost there….
Sora sprang to his feet, his grin widening, he reached his hand down for one of the chocolate chip spheres of wonder….
There was a shuffling sound and a feminine hand tapped Sora on the shoulder. Agent 007 and a half winced.
"Ahem….Sora, I do believe we made it clear you weren't to have any of these yet?"
The Keyblade Master turned, expression stony. He was silent.
Aerith beamed at him. "Come on Sora, you can have a cookie later." She persuaded gently.
"AGENT SCUM!" Sora shrieked. "TASTE THE WRATH OF MY HIGH TECH SPY GEAR OF DOOM!" With that, Sora squirted the flower girl with his super soaker, grabbed the entire tray of cookies and ran for it.
Aerith gave a small cry of surprise, then yelled out "Leon! Yuffie! Now!"
Both Yuffie and Leon jumped into the kitchen, armed with supersoakers of their own. Sora skidded to a stop.
"So….think you have me, eh?" Sora grinned. "Wrong! No one defeats Agent 007 and a half!! If I can't have the cookies, neither can you!" He dropped the tray of cookies, and pointed the super soaker at the cookies. SPLOOOOSSSHHH! He emptied all of the remaining water onto the cookies. "What do you say to that?"
Leon and Yuffie looked at each other. Yuffie grinned. "Time to die Agent 007 and a half!!" She cried, pumping her own super soaker and hitting Sora squarely in the chest.
"GAAAHHH!" Sora fell to his knees. "I'VE BEEN HIT! EVERYTHING IS GOING DARK…gaaahhhh.." He flopped over in the manner of a fish out of water and twitched.
Agent 007 and a half: Sora
Mission: Get cookie.
Heh. So whatcha guys think? Review! I'll take suggestions for future craziness!
(Crys walks off, humming Mission Impossible theme)
-D i g i t a l d r e a m e r -