- P L O T W H A T P L O T?-

-By: Digitaldreamer-

-Plotless junk number three: Shopping Ninja-

Psshttt. And you all thought you were actually going to get a Broken Rainbow chapter this week.

(Auron rolls his eyes. "Perhaps it would be wise to stop taunting your readers." Crys chuckles. "Oh hush, it's not like they can hurt me." "…fine, when they show up on your doorstep to kill you, don't blame me.")

On the bright BR side, I drew pictures of the outfits Sora and Kairi are going to wear for the remainder of BR. Take a look

http :www. deviantart. com / deviation / 11671591 / Remove the spaces to see Sora's.

http :www. deviantart. com / deviation / 11671649 / Remove the spaces to see Kairi's.

Sooo…um...this one stars Yuffie and Leon Hope you guys like it!

Squall Leonhart never wanted to go on another shopping trip again. Never again. He would never step foot in another shop ever again for the rest of his life. He would rather have his Gunblade broken into pieces, the Heartless take over, and be forced to sit through "Garfield: The Movie" for the rest of eternity with his eyes taped open then go shopping again after this experience.

Oh, it had started out simply enough. He had been having a fine day before all this. He had woke up early, gone to the secret water way and trained for a bit, then gone back to the small house and eaten a small breakfast made by Aerith while polishing his Gunblade. He had been watching a special about swords on tv when Aerith had asked the question that as fate would have it, was destined to ruin his nice day.

"Leon, could you go to the forth distract and get me a few things?"

The man winced, feeling his good day crack, snap, and shatter with those fourteen small words. He could also feel the tiny shards of his would be good day falling around him and hitting the floor as well as sharp pieces of the good day hitting random people and killing them. "…um…sure…" Leon called back.

Aerith smiled as she came into the living room, seemingly oblivious to Leon's slightly bummed tone. Then again, Leon's bummed tone was the same tone he used when he was happy, angry, bored, or confused, so no wonder she didn't notice. "Alright then, I just need you to go shopping for a couple things, it shouldn't take you very l-"

She was interrupted when a green, yellow, black and skin colored blur rushed down the stairs and perched onto the couch, taking the form of Yuffie. "Did someone say shopping!?" She asked with the grin of someone who may or may not be high. Leon seriously wondered if she smoked whatever Cid was smoking, but Aerith had assured him she only ate lots of sugar and drank much caffeine. He still didn't fully believe her, maybe she was partaking in this smoking too…it would explain her being so dang calm and nice all the time..oh wait, getting off track here.

Anyway, Aerith nodded. "Yes, Leon is going to the forth distract to get me a few things…"

Yuffie's eyes sparkled. "Really!?" She immediately vaulted over the couch and latched onto Leon. "Oh-my-gosh-Sqaull-can-I-come-please-please-please!?" She yelled, all in one breath, into Leon's ear.

Leon's eye twitched. Yup, could definantly feel the shards of his good day coming back to stab his eyes out. "I don't think s-"

"Of course!" Aerith interrupted him with a smile.


Aerith jabbed Squall in the ribs, Yuffie didn't notice. "Leon would love to take you with him wouldn't you Leon!?"

Leon gave a glare that spoke of a very painful death involving her innards getting ripped out and strewn all over the floor. "..yeah….sure…"

Yuffie gave a squeal of delight. "Don't worry! I'll find everything! I'm a shopping ninja!"

Aerith cheerfully handed Leon a list of things to buy and rather forcefully shoved the disgruntled man and the squealing girl out the door.

The shards of that good day were definantly determined to impale Leon and slowly torture him.

The forth distract of Traverse Town was very new, only recently having been built. It was basically a large square, and at the center of that square was a very large building with neon signs all over it that said things like "Welcome to the Traverse Town mall!" and "Brand new Mega potions! Buy one now!" and "Buy used Panties!" Wait….never mind the last one. Anyway, many new people that came to Traverse Town set up shops there, meaning you could find just about anything at the mall.

Leon hated the mall with the hatred of a thousand smoldering suns.

Yuffie bounded around, looking into shop after shop and piling things into Leon's arms, the man was sure half of the items weren't even on Aerith's list.

"Yuffie, Aerith didn't ask for ten gallons of mountain dew!" Leon cried as she rushed past.

"Yeah I know, this is for me!"

Leon groaned. "…Why me?" It was then that Yuffie hauled him into a shop he never wanted to see the interior of.

"Garnet's Girl's Paradise."

The man's eyes widened as he looked around. Everything was a shade of pink, purple, yellow, light blue or light green. There were cute kitties placed here and there, bows, pictures of girls posing in long flared jeans, flowers…..Leon shuddered.

Yuffie grinned. "I know, isn't this the best place ever!? Aerith and I come here all the time, it's so great it just gives you the chillies!"

Leon twitched. "..Yeah….the chillies……sure…"

It was then that Leon was hauled through the nightmare that was "Yuffie clothes shopping."

"Squall, what do you think, does this make me look fat?" Yuffie inquired, wearing a yellow tube top and a short green skirt.

"The name is Leon.." Leon snapped through clenched teeth.

Yuffie grinned. "You're right, it's perfect." She skipped back in to the changing room.

"What about this?" She asked, coming back in what you would recognize as Rikku's outfit from FFX-2. "Does this make me look fat?"

Leon was starting to zone out. "Huh? Yeah..sure.."

Yuffie's eyes widened. "Are you saying I'm fat?!"

Leon blinked. "Huh!? No!"

"You think I'm fat don't you!?"


"Oh my God I'm fat I can't believe I never noticed!" Yuffie's eyes widened, tear-filled and she ran back into the dressing-room.

Leon blinked again. "…women." He muttered, shaking his head.

After spending what seemed to Leon to be a horrendous amount of money on clothes, the pair left the shop, only to enter yet another store Leon really didn't want to see.

The Lingerie Shop.

"Uh..Yuffie…" Leon mumbled, a blush creeping onto his face. "I really don't think Aerith asked us to get this…"

"Oh hush." Yuffie replied, holding up multi-colored pairs of panties. "I need more panties! Besides, these are cute!" She smiled at one pair that she held up, then frowned. "I'm not sure if it will fit me though…" With that, she threw the other piars of panties she was planning on buying at Leon and ran to the dressing room. Leon caught them, blinking slightly.

It was then that a pair of teenage girls happened to spot the leather-clad, highly muscular man standing in a womans panties aisle, holding multi-colored pairs of panties in his black gloved hands.

"..Like…what are you doing here?" The blonde one asked.

Leon opened his mouth hurriedly to explain but the brunette stopped him.

"Like, Oh My God, he's probably buying them for his girlfriend…"

"Awwww, how sweet.."

Leon's eyes widened. "No, that's not it-"

"Then what are you doing in a woman's panties aisle!?" The Blonde demanded.

The brunette whispered something into the blondes ear, then both girls glared at Leon.

"We won't allow you to be in this store just to satisfy your underwear fetish you perv!"

The man's eyes widened. "What!?"

"Yeah, like, Get out of here you pervert!"

"But I'm just-"

Both girls began to wave their arms and scream thing's like "Get out you pervert!" Their yelling attracted other girls, whom began to join in. Some began to arm themselves with panties and fling them at Leon. Shielding his head from the underwear, Leon did what any man would do in this situation. He ran away screaming like a little girl.

Awhile later Yuffie found Leon standing next to a fountain panting. "Oh, there you are Squall!" She said cheerfully. "Too bad you left, there were a lot of nice girls there saying they drove away some pervert with an underwear fetish, you should have seen it!"

Leon glared at her. The ninja, oblivious, grabbed Leon's arm and pulled him along.

And of course, just to make Leon's day, they had to visit yet another stop that wasn't on Aerith's list.

The Make-up Shop.

"Squall, what do you think, does this eye shadow bring out the color in my eyes?" Yuffie asked, putting on some dark eye shadow.

Leon twitched. "It's Leon."

Yuffie nodded. "You're right, it's too dark."

While she busied herself with the lipstick, Leon prepared to make a run for it. But as luck would have it, the teenage girls from the lingerie store were there.

"Like Oh My GAWD, it's the pervert!" The blonde shrieked.

"Like, yeah! Let's see if he likes Make-up as much as he likes panties!" The brunette cried, arming herself with lipstick.

Leon watched as the various women in the shop picked up various items and began advancing on him, save for Yuffie, whom was oblivious. He whimpered.

The women leapt forward with the collective battle cry of "GET THE PERVERT!" Leon narrowly managed to escape with smudges of dark purple lipstick covering his face, blush dumped all over his jacket, and his eyelashes covered in mascara. He washed his face in the fountain and twitched.

"Alright, that's it. When Yuffie comes back, we're leaving, and I am never going shopping ever again." He stated darkly.

Yuffie eventually came out, make-up in a bag. "There you are!" She said cheerfully.

Leon stood up and opened his mouth, about to say they were leaving.

The ninja smiled and grabbed Leon's arm, pulling him along. "C'mon, let's visit the weapons shop next!"

Leon blinked. "Weapons?"

Yuffie grinned. "Yeah!"

Leon thought for a moment. I do like sharp shiny things…

Leon decided just a bit more shopping wouldn't kill him.

Heh. I think that was pretty amusing, don't you guys think so?

(Auron raises a brow. "If you even consider taking me shopping, I will kill you." Crys grins evilly at him.)

Alright guys, read and review, and if you have any suggestions for future PWP's, tell me!

- D i g i t a l d r e a m e r-