Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Legolas: You just don't give up, do you? Me: I don't know the meaning of the words. Legolas: Buy a dictionary. Me: I see how it isyou're going to give me a hard time again, aren't you? Legolas: If you don't quit picking on me, I'm going to give you something, alright. Me: For your information, this one isn't about you LegolasWhat? What do you mean, not about me? I've been in every single one of them! Me: Not this one, Lego - well, not very much at any rate. Legolas: I knew you couldn't keep me out. Me: Sigh. You'd think I'd be used to your ego by now.

Double Vision

Summery: Second in a possible series of adventures of Elves in modern times. The Peredhil twins own and operate a travelling Renaissance Faire, employing some of their longtime friends! AUAU. NON-CANON. Humor. Rated PG13 for language and adult situations. Please read and review!

A/N: I received a lot of requests for a sequel to "It's About Time," but thought that the story itself had played out. Still, I thought it might be fun to write a series of stories centering on the same theme - Elves in modern times. If you haven't read "It's About Time," you may want to skim through chapter 3, "Shooting the Breeze," to read my take on Elven history.

Chapter 1

On with the Show

"On my honor, I vow to avenge you, Milady!" cried the figure in a complete suit of armor, seated upon the sleek white stallion, holding his sword aloft. He was addressing a lovely young woman in a white gauzy gown and golden crown who sat regally on a throne on the platform before him. At that moment, the visor on his helmet chose to slam down with an audible clank. The lovely young woman snorted, covering her mouth with her hand. Raising the visor back up with his free hand, he turned to another figure standing on the field next to him.

"'Ro! This damn helmet is going drive me crazy! The visor keeps falling down! What do we need these stupid costumes for, anyway? We never wore helmets with visors!"

"C'mon, 'Danwe've been over this a hundred times. People are just not as impressed by leather armor as they are by metalit's part of having 'good show.'" Elladan replied to his twin, squinting a bit at the glare that shone off his brother's suit of armor. He, himself, was dressed in faded jeans, sneakers, and a tee shirt that read, "E.L.F. - Elves Love Foreplay."

"It's heavy, it creaks, and I'm sweating like a pig in this thing!"

"Will you stop complaining? You're the one who wanted to be the hero!"

"While we're on the subject, exactly whose idea was it to make me the champion in the jousting tournament, again? Every pimply-faced King Arthur wannabe at the Faire tries to challenge me. I'm getting tired of getting poked with lances, 'Ro."

"I repeatyou wanted to be the hero."

"Maybe it's time for you to take a turn getting poked."

"I'm usually the one who does the poking, pal. And I poke very well, so I've been told"

"That is NOT the kind of poking I was referring to, and you know it."

The rest of the cast of the Faire went about their business as usual while the twins argued. They had heard it all too many times beforeit was always the same at each new location. One or the other of the twins would choose to play the "hero knight," and would be happy for all of five seconds. Then the arguing would begin. But, still, the twins were good employers, and most who worked for them considered themselves lucky to be a part of the most popular Renaissance Faire in the country. Not to mention that it was the only Renaissance Faire run by real Elves. That, in and of itself, made it interesting.

The Faire had been running for years, travelling about the country from one end to the other, a caravan of trucks, mobile homes, and vans, currently led by one lemon yellow Hummer with the words "Peredhil Productions" written in Old English Script across the side doors.

"Can't we have Haldir or Legolas do the joust this time?"

"Nothey need to do the archery demonstration and competition. If anybody has reason to complain, it's those two! Do you know how many times over the years they've been shot in the butt by some nearsighted teenager who thinks that he's Robin Hood?"

"How about Glorfindel?"

"He has to do the dragon slaying show, and the wandering minstrel thing. You know that!"

"Gimli?"

"Be serious."

"Fine! Finebut I get to run the "wenching" contest this time!" Elladan said, his visor clanking down once again. "Argh!"

Elladan lifted his visor once again, reining his horse in the direction of the stables. Elrohir smiled, watching his brother ride off while holding his visor in place with one hand.

"I need to remember to tell the smithy to loosen that visor a bit moreit didn't fall nearly as many times as I had hoped" Elrohir thought, chuckling to himself as he walked toward the trailer that served as the Faire's office.

Opening the door to the trailer, he smiled at the three tall blonde Elves and one short, redheaded Dwarf who were seated around the round table near the back of the trailer.

"Hey, 'Rodeal you in a hand?" Glorfindel asked, shuffling the cards in his hands expertly.

"No can do, Fin. I've got to go make sure everything's set for tomorrow's opening." Elrohir replied. "Shouldn't you all beoh, I don't knowpracticing or something?"

"C'mon, 'Rowe can do that stuff in our sleep, and you know it!" Legolas laughed, anteing up for the next round of poker.

"How'd the 'visor' thing go, 'Ro?" Haldir asked, taking a peek at the cards he was dealt.

"It needs to be loosenedit only fell twice!" Elrohir laughed, peeking at Gimli's hand over his shoulder. He eyed Fin and rolled his eyes, shaking his head at Gimli's hand.

Haldir opened, throwing down three cards. Gimli stayed pat, and the other Elves discarded three cards each. Fin finished dealing, then raised Haldir's bet. The raising went on until Haldir and Legolas had both folded, leaving only Gimli and Glorfindel still in the game.

Gimli smiled, saying, "All in, Fin" He pushed his remaining chips into the center of the table.

Fin peeked up at Elrohir, who was still standing behind Gimli. Elrohir rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. He mouthed, "Bluffing," to Glorfindel over Gimli's head. Taking his cue, Fin called Gimli's bet. Laying his cards on the table, Fin said triumphantly, "Full house, tens over aces. Read 'em and weep, Dwarf!"

"Straight Flush, Balrog-slayer," Gimli laughed, showing his cards and drawing the large pile of chips in toward himself.

Elrohir laughed out loud at the expression on Glorfindel's face, then quickly ran out of the trailer before Fin could get his hands around his throat. Legolas, Haldir, and Gimli's laughter and Glorfindel's bellow of anger followed him out.