First I would like to thank all of you that took the time to write. I want you to know that I appreciate all the references to my word usages. I stink at writing correctly for example, where, were etc. It has been awhile since I have been in school that you forget things, so I apologize up front, but I thank you for catching it. Darktiger2 thanks for finishing Morning Surprise LOVED IT, now if you could please finish Snow Covered Memories I would really appreciate it, you left us hanging. TURTLES ARE NOT MINE!!!! ENJOY!!!!
The walk back to the lair was the longest Raphael ever had. He was thinking about what he was going to say to Leo and couldn't come up with one Damn thing. He really was regretting coming home. "How do I let myself get into these things?" thought Raph.
"Are you ready Raph?" asked Mikey.
"NO, but do I have a choice?" Raph retorted.
"Not really, you need to make it better. We're family and family sticks together no matter what. So talk to Leo he'll understand." Mikey opened the lair door and waited till Raph passed.
"Since when did you get so smart? Don't answer that." Raph joked and smiled at Mikey.
"Good luck. I'll go make us some lunch." Mikey left and went into the kitchen, while Raph went to search for Leo.
"I don't know Don, are you sure it will get better? I can hardly lift this thing." Leo was talking to Donnie in his room sitting on his bed holding a can of "Soup" in his bandaged arm.
"Give it time, Leo. It will get stronger as long as you practice. Since when did you hate to practice?" asked Donnieas he took the can of soup from Leo's trembling arm.
"Since, it hurts like a son of a..." Leo looked up from talking to Donnie as he sensed someone near his room.
"Um Don, can you leave me and Leo alone for a second?" Raph said from the door.
"Sure." Donnie got up and left. Raph walked in and closed the door behind Donnie, and sat down on Leo's bed. Leo looked at Raph cautiously.
"Leo, I..." Raph stumbled on his words.
"Look, I have nothing to say to you Raph and I really don't want to hear what you have to say. I heard it already." Leo looked away from Raph not wanting anything to do with him.
"Leo, you have to listen to me. I didn't know what I was saying I was..." Raph began, but was interrupted by Leo.
"Bull! You knew exactly what you were saying. You may not of realized what you were DOING, but saying is different. You had those feelings in you for years. I can't help what I am Raphael, and I will not beg for you to like me. My honor denies me that Humility and I am grateful for it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't be the brother you want, I'm sorry I can't be the leader you want. I am just me and I am sorry that is not good enough for you." Leo couldn't look at Raph anymore he put his legs on the floor got up shakily and walked out of the room. Raph was too stunned to do anything but stare after Leo.
"What the shell?" Raph asked to no one and Raph ran out of the room after Leo. He didn't have to go far because Leo was out in the hallway, breathing heavily his back towards Raph. "Leo, I... We need to talk please come back and lay down. I need to talk to you." Raph looked at Leo's back and hoped that Leo would turn around.
"I can't Raph. I just can't I'm sorry, I don't want to do this now." Leo walked away from Raph slowly and went towards the kitchen. Raph walked behind Leo trying to think of what to say. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. Leo would not walk away from him. Not when he had something important to say. Just as Leo was entering the kitchen Raph grabbed Leo by the shoulder and turned him around forcefully.
"You will not walk away from this you will stop and listen to me." Raph said angrily.
"I told you to leave me alone RAPHAEL. I AM NOT IN THE MOOD!!!" screamed Leo and he turned around.
"I'll put you in the mood Leo." Raph threatened.
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CUT ME UP AGAIN?" Leo shouted and turned. "I am sick of this. You can stop threatening me NOW. I am sick of you taking out everything on me. I am the hurt party here Raph. Not you! You are the one in the wrong. I did nothing. I never said I hated you." Leo whispered the last part and turned his back on Raph not wanting him to see the tears in his eyes.
"Leo...I..." Raph tried to calm himself. Getting angry wasn't the answer. Leo was right he had no right to threaten him. Raph tried again. "Leo, I'm sorry. I had no right to threaten you. I didn't come back here to fight. I came back to apologize. I don't hate you Leo. You're my brother and I could never hate you all the time, sometimes I do, but I don't hate you all the time. This ain't going well."
"Raph, listen. I know what you said. I know why you said it, and I know that it's true. You saying you don't hate me don't change the fact that deep down you really do." Leo turned to face Raph with the tears still in his eyes. "I never ever, hated you. I know you hated the fact that I became the leader and you didn't, but it is the only thing that I have. You at least get to have fun and get to be close to Donnie and Mikey. I get nothing. All I get is to be the leader. The one that everyone hates, everyone thinks is a stick in the mud, the one that gets to look out for them, and always is perfect. Well I hate it, but at the same time it is the only thing I know. I wanted you and me to be like before. Friends, brothers, but I know now it will never be, and for that I'm sorry, because I will not change who I am for you or anyone. I am happy that I have something that I am good at. And I AM DAMN GOOD at being the LEADER." Leo turned back around and went into the kitchen. Mikey was there looking at Leo when he walked in. "Is lunch ready Mikey?"
"Um, in a min. Leo." Mikey turned back towards his stove and got busy checking the pizza.
"Ok, Leo now that you had your turn, it's my turn now." Raph strolled in and sat down across from Leo at the table. "Yes, I said I hated you and at the time I probably did. And I do at times hate you. You're so perfect, so great. Master Splinter sees only you. Only your greatness. The rest of us are left in the dark. Our perfect Leo our perfect Leader. Yes I get pissed at that, and yes I hate you for it. But I don't hate you. Leo I get angry. I say things I don't mean all the time and, I guess I hate myself more then you. I hate the fact that I can't be like you. I can't be perfect. But, at the same time I don't want to. I know it has to be hard to be the leader and I don't want that much responsibility. I guess what I am trying to say is I'm sorry. Sorry for saying I hate you when in fact its me I hate." Raph looked down at his hands trying to think of something that would make Leo understand.
"I didn't know." Was the only thing Leo said as he looked at Raph.
"I didn't either, until a wise turtle talked to me." Raph smiled at Mikey's back.
"I guess we both have our own problems." Said Leo.
"Yeah, I guess. So um we ok?" Raph looked at Leo with concern.
"I don't know Raph. It's hard, lets give it some time, who knows maybe." Leo looked at Raph and gave him a half smile. Raph looked back and smiled. Mikey looked at both his older brothers and thought "It will work." and began setting the table. Donnie came in from his lab and sat down next to Leo, and handed him the soup can. Leo looked at Don with pleading eyes that clearly said, "Do I have to?" Donnie laughed and just smiled. Mikey set the pizza in the middle of the table and sat next to Raph. Mikey smiled at Raph and Raph smiled back.
"DIG IN!" Mikey yelled and began taking the pizza.
"HEY, Leave some for us!" cried Raph and he too began taking the pizza.
"Hey you too Raph." Leo said as he tried to get some pizza with only one arm.
"You also Leo," Donnie yelled as he too scrambled for the pizza. All 4 turtles were so into eating, laughing and talking that no one noticed their Sensei come into the room. He took one look at his sons at the table chuckled to himself "This was family." He thought and went into his room to meditate.
Well folks that is it. I think it ended really really well. I am happy with it. I hope you enjoyed it too. There will be no continues. It will take time but both turtles are on their way to healing. Thanks for all the kind words. I will write another one soon. It is already in the works.