Author: Sparkle Itamashii
Title: Clandestine Revelations
Warnings: Respect the "R" rating. (I hate the new rating system so I'm sticking with the old one!) Please see my profile for details.
Disclaimer: Digimon and its characters, settings and plot are NOT MINE.
Chapter Twenty Two
All I remember is that one second I was slurring my words as I tried to stay conscious and the next I was kissing (or being kissed by, I suppose was the case) Matt. And you know, I just… I sat there - eyes wide, lips warm, totally confused - and I let him. I let him because I didn't know what else to do.
Yes, that was exactly what I wanted; him to kiss me. But there was still a part of me that told me this wasn't how this was supposed to happen. The last thing I wanted to think about was stopping, but did I want to kiss him like this? In the middle of the night, half asleep, probably not really knowing what he was doing…?
I could feel and hear and taste him breathing so close and yet-
"I can't," I whispered, barely a breath as I pulled back. "I can't do this, Matt…"
I knew I couldn't let him.
We stared silently for a moment before he started, as if he'd just figured out what happened. "What?"
"I said I can't do this," I repeated, throat tight. God it felt rotten to say those words. "Not with… not…" Not like this, I wanted to say. "I can't…"
Not unless you mean it, Matt.
He reached up, brushing the backs of his fingers over my cheek with a confused look. "Tai…?"
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and then opened them. He looked right back at me, eyes wide and clear. He was just as awake as I was now and he knew exactly what he was doing. "Why did you do that?"
I waited for him to say 'I don't know,' but he didn't.
"Kari was right," he said, eyes dropping as he rested his forehead against mine. "So were you."
"About?" It seemed like a stupid question as soon as it was out of my mouth; I mean, I knew what about just… not exactly and didn't want to make any stupid assumptions. It was so rare to get Matt talking about anything important.
"You told me that if I didn't like you, then there wouldn't be a debate. I got mad about it even though I knew you were right. Maybe I got mad because you were right." His nose touched mine for a second as he shifted, hand slipping down to the crook of my neck. "We've been round in so many circles trying to figure out if we should be more than friends that we couldn't even see we already were. We already are."
Startled, I pulled back and his gaze shot up, eyes locking with mine. "We are?"
He smiled, rolling his eyes a little bit as though I were being completely thick. "Look at us, Tai. Really look. How many friends act like we do around each other?"
"Not many, I suppose." It was strange to finally hear him voice the things I'd been thinking about when all of this started. "Are you really okay with changing things?" I asked hesitantly.
"I think so. Somehow I don't think the change from 'what is' to 'what if' will be that big for us."
"A lot of people are going to talk," I said carefully, repeating his earlier worries. "You said yourself that they love rumors."
He shifted a little closer with a faint smirk. "Then let's give them something to talk about."
/End Chapter Twenty Two, Clandestine Revelations/
/End Clandestine Revelations/
This story is FINISHED. There is no more after this chapter, nor will there ever be more.
I would like to hereby dedicate this entire fic to my beta reader and good friend, Maz. Her love for digimon and for Taito in particular runs deep and it's her happy raving about them that convinced me to start writing this for her when I don't even watch the show...
Happy Birthday lovely!
She writes some fantastic digimon, gundam wing, animorphs, and D&D fanfiction which I highly suggest you all go and read right now. Her pen name is Mazmaraz.
Go visit her page. GO.