Love Knows No Yamato: Chapter One
"Just do it." She thought out loud to herself. "The sooner you get this over with the better and life can get back to normal."
"Alright, Ms. Motamiya." The doctor said, setting her legs in the stirrups. "I'm just going to get an idea of where it is before I start. I'm going to use the ultrasound, okay?"
June tuned her head towards the blue curtain on the other side of the room. "Baby blue…" She thought wistfully, then quickly snapping her mind back to reality. "Shut up. You're not doing this. You're not going to get soft. You're going to get through this and everything is going back to normal."
She starred up at the tiled ceiling and shuddered slightly as the doctor squirted a cold gel on her abdomen.
"Sorry, if it's a little cold." The doctor said, setting the tube down and picking up the paddle device. "This'll just take a few seconds." He said, setting the paddle on her stomach and moving it through the gel, spreading it.
June shut her eyes and kept he head straight as she saw the doctor reach out and touch the power button. "You're not going to look. You're gonna get this over with and everything is going to be back to normal."
Bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump …
The sound resonated through June's ears, echoed through her head and permanently programmed itself into her memory.Oh my…for crying out…" The doctor groaned, flipping a switch on the computer, shutting off the sound. "Someone forgot to mute the sound on this machine. I'm so sorry, Ms. Motamiya."
Instinctively, June flew her eyes open and turned to where the sound was. Her eyes met the screen where a small black and white form was on screen, free floating in a sea of black.
"Is that…" she whispered, sitting up. "Was that…"
"Yes. That was its heartbeat. I'm so sorry about that." The doctor replied, cleaning the gel off her abdomen. "We also have prenatal suites on this floor and we often use each other's machines."
The doctor then moved around the room and wheeled over a small device that looked like a small medical vacuum cleaner. He then brought over a tray with a cluster of shiny, sterile, stainless steel instruments.
"This will all be over in a second. Just relax and take some deep breaths. Close your eyes if you want to." The doctor said, setting June's legs in the stirrups. "I'm going to lower the lights in the room…"
June wasn't hearing a word the doctor was saying. Her eyes were shut, but she was aware of the bright lights in the office slowly dimming down around her. Her ears were throbbing in time with her rapidly beating heartbeat.
Bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump …
"No.." June thought to herself as she heard the doctor sit in the stool between the stirrups. "Not my heartbeat…That's not my heartbeat…It's scared…"
"Okay, Ms. Motamiya. I'm about to start. Let me know if you feel any discomfort."
June felt the cold sterile plastic bush up slightly against the inside of her leg. She bit her lower lip hard, tears streaming down her face as she heard the devices slow, low hum and felt the small suction against her bottom.
Bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, Bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump…
"STOP! Please stop! STOP!" June shouted at the top of her lungs, quickly closing her legs and kicking the device out of the doctor's hand.
"Ms. Motamiya, what the--"
"I can't do it…" she sobbed, tears flowing from her red eyes as she jumped from the table and ran into the bathroom. "I just can't do it! I can't take another life! I just can't! I can't take a child's life."
The doctor's voice muffled in the bathroom as June pulled on her pants. "Ms. Motamiya, you do understand that this is the cut-off point for—"
"I understand…" June said, touching the very faint bump on her abdomen before she pulled her shirt on. "I'll give it up for adoption, I'll raise it myself, but I just can't kill it!"
"If you feel that way, then I have no choice but to respect your wishes, Ms. Motamiya." The doctor said as June walked out the bathroom door. "Good luck in whatever you choose. I'll see that the receptionist returns your deposit." He said, holding out his hand.
"Thank you." June said, shaking the offered hand. "Thank you so much." She sighed stepping out the office.
June felt the cool spring wind against her wet tear-soaked face as she started walking down the street, lost in her own thoughts.Just close your eyes and open your legs and it'll all be over with in a few seconds and everything will be back to normal…
That word no longer applies to me anymore. Normal is what everyone else is, and I am not.
Why was I so stupid? Why did I just give myself to him like that? Why didn't I just let the doctor go ahead and finish? It would have been all over in just a few seconds. Everything would be back to the way it was and I would be just another young woman getting ready to go into college without a care in the world…
Its not like it's murder or anything…it's not even a baby. It's an embryo: no different than a chicken egg embryo. Why didn't I do it while I had a chance? It's not like it would have been suffering or anything. It would have been instantaneous and quick.
Because it's alive…I heard it, I saw it. It's a living, breathing child dependent on me. It has a heartbeat… It's a living being. To destroy it would make me no better than a murderer. Even if it was created out of matrimony, it's still…he or she is still a human being. He or she didn't ask to come into the world, so he or she should have a fighting chance at life like everyone else.
If I'm going to do this, I can't tell mom and dad. They would kick me out on the street. I can't tell them. I just can't…"Mom…dad…I'm home…" June called out from the front foyer as she took off her shoes.
"Come into the living room." Her father's sharp voice snapped out.
June started trembling as she padded into the spacious living room. "Yes?" She said, facing her two parents who were sitting at the table. "What do you want?"
"Don't play stupid with us." Her mother said in a low voice. "We know where you were all afternoon."Bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump…
She felt the same throbbing in her ears that she felt in the doctor's office. Not just hears, but the child inside her. "What do you mean?"
Without a word, June's father reached under the table and pulled out a piece of paper. "Your mother found this in your room when she was putting up your laundry."
June's stomach twisted into a knot as she looked at the crumpled piece of paper with her name and a date and time scribbled on them. "I can—"
"Odabia OB/GYN clinic" June's mom interrupted, tears forming in her eyes. "They specialize in prenatal care and abortions."
"Mom, I can explain—"
"Save it." June's father growled, holding up a hand. "Did you abort it?"
"I couldn't. I went down there this afternoon, went in the office, and right before he started, I ran out. I couldn't do it."
"Can you abort it?" June's mother asked, her eyes blazing with anger. "Is there some kind of way—"
"No." June said, anger slowly rises in her voice. "I'm now past the borderline stage. I have to carry the baby to term." She explained, slowly setting a hand on her abdomen.
"Who's the father?" June's father asked, his voice rising, his anger on the verge of boiling over.
June stood there, silent, now fully aware of the throbbing in her ears.
"Who is the father?" June's father asked again, now standing from the chair, eyes locked on his daughters brown eyes. "Tell me. Was it that guy Matt?"
Again, June stood close-lipped. Deep inside her stomach, it felt as though her insides were about to rupture.
"Alright. That's how you want it, fine." June's dad said, turning his back to her. "I will not allow you to bring shame to this house further. If you're going screw around and get knocked up by any Joe Blow in the street, you can do it outside the walls of this house. I want you out."
"No daddy! NO!" June screamed, padding over to face her father, who now had his arms folded and his eyes sternly closed. "Please don't kick me out into the street! I have nowhere to go. I have no money—"
"You have your college funds to live off of." Her father said, walking towards his bedroom door. "It's not my concern where you go or what you do. You are no longer my daughter." He finished, slamming the door in her face.
"No daddy! NO! MOM! PLEASE DO SOMETHING!" June screamed out, turning to her mother who sat there stone faced, arms crossed on the table. "Please let me stay! I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN! PLEASE LET ME STAY!"
"You had better start packing." June's mother said, standing from the table and following the same path her husband took into their bedroom, turning away from her daughters red eyes.
"I don't believe this! My own parents are kicking me out of my own house." June said, sobbing as she padded towards her room. "This is the worst day of my entire life…"
TO BE CONTINUED...