Disclaimer: Only the plot, which isn't that great, belongs to me. The rest belongs to J. K. Rowling. She created it, and I'm just messing around with her toys.
Summary: Harry isn't getting his letters, so he decided to see if Voldemort is intercepting them. A surprising thing happens- Harry starts to make a friendship where he shouldn't. After all, he does have to kill the guy. Right? Mostly told in the form of letters.
Chapter Eleven - Correspondence
Either I had a very interesting dream, or I had a very strange time. Either way, you have detention. My classroom, at seven o'clock. Mr. Potter should come along as well.
-Professor M. McGonagall
Thank you very, very much. Why couldn't you have just oblivated her? I have detention with Professor McGonagall now. You owe me big time.
I am dreadfully sorry for your detention. Shall I write your mum about it? Better yet, why don't I come and speak to the headmaster myself about it? I doubt this ruined your chances for head girl. After all, you are a Riddle, and being Heads runs in the family. I was researching my muggle family, and I found that my ancestors traditionally went to Smeltings, and most of them were heads in their time. Right little prats most of them were.
The detention went fine. She wants to know where she could get some of what we were drinking. Apparently her Scottish relatives would like it. Do you think that we could get some too?
It's a special brew that the Death Eaters make themselves. Nothing deadly goes into it, it's just very, very good moonshine. You cannot have any because you are too young to be drinking. She can owl me about it, and I'm sure we can negotiate a decent price.
I'm too young to be drinking? This coming from the man who spiked the drinks at the Christmas party, got us drunk nearly a week ago, and should rightly be in prison.
It's not that, but your mum owled me about not giving you any alcohol, drugs, and muggle sweets.
You're my uncle, it's your job to corrupt me.
It is? Why did nobody tell me this when I found out I was an uncle?
Ask Harry, he found out, not me.
Will do. May I curse it?
I though you'd gotten all of your torturing urges out when you kidnapped Harry?
I was supposed to do that? Wait a minute, I have to check my day planner. Thank you for that by the way. I finally got it to stop telling me to do my potions homework. Did you charm them yourself? Oh, I was. Who wrote in this anyway? Their penmanship is just awful. I can barely read it.
I did charm them myself. And hexed them. And cursed them. By the way, they're hexed so anyone who isn't you that writes in it gets a very painful rash on their left toe that doesn't go away for three years, eighteen months, three weeks, two days, 27 hours, eight minutes, forty-three and a half seconds. And that's just with the intent to write on it. If they actually wrote in it… Well, you don't want to know.
Are you trying to say that I have bad handwriting?
Yes. Why do you ask?
No reason. But it's not my fault that the orphanage never taught penmanship. I had to learn from the grocer on the corner, when I was collecting pence pieces to feed to the ducks.
Why did you feed the ducks money?
They died, and I'd bring them back, and we'd have roast duck for dinner.
Actually, roast duck is quite lovely. When the skin is golden brown, and it just pulls off.
Okay then. You just do that. But look at the enclosed pamphlet. It might interest you.
LIVING VEGAN: HOW TO LIVE VEGAN Why? I need meat. Protein is essential. Meat. Steak. Chicken. Pork. Please pass the enclosed pamphlet along to the Headmaster.
Did you even look at it? Actually have you ever been interrogated by Dumbledore?
I get it now. I showed it to Harry, and he explained things. I'll pass it on, but I'm keeping a copy of it.
Of course. I think that he should join. He has a penchant for those things. I don't understand how he can like those and offer them to every little student that waltzes into his office. But I do like the idea of Lemon Drop Addicts Anonymous.
Well it could be worse. Term is over in a few days. I'll be out of reach. My parents are going to take me on a trip, and they're not telling me where to go, but they said that owl post isn't that reliable. Which means that there's probably thestrals around.
Sounds likely. I think I'm going to travel. It sounds reasonably fun. Maybe look up a few friends, get closer to other friends. Do you know which Professor McGonagall prefers, the Caribbean or Australia?
I don't know, why don't you ask her?
I was just wondering. Last letter. Maybe I'll track you down over the summer, you're of age, I can teach you how to duel! I'm going to have so much fun. At least once I find you that it.
It is our pleasure to inform you that you have won the annual drawing. Your winnings are as follows, two L. D. E. L. V. I. S. t-shirts, four lemon drops, and eight and a half galleons. Please owl us to confirm the arrival of the owl and to claim your free tote bag!
-The Lets Drive Evil Lord Voldemort Insane Society
L. D. E. L. V. I. S.-
I would like the t-shirts and the tote bag, you may keep the lemon drops. Consider it a gift. Any Elvis sightings lately?
Oh yes, we saw Elvis chatting with a poor person two days ago. one of our members tried to converse with him, but he disappeared into thin air. If you see him, could you please pass on our regards? Speaking of such, a Mr. G. Lockhart wishes to send you a valentine which was lost in the mail and only recently returned to him.
-L. D. E. L. V. I. S.
P.S. Are you insane yet?
Dear Let's Drive Evil Lord Voldemort Insane Society,
No I am not insane yet, but when It happens rest assured, I will be the first to inform you. Would it be possible to get on of you to be my secretary, I seem to have a problem with them running off. Do not worry about Lockhart's valentine, I am quite fine without it. Maybe you should take him to St. Mungoes?
-The evil Lord Voldemort
You mean to say we have been corresponding with the evil Lord himself? Oh we are so flattered. A secretary will be arriving very promptly.
Why did you not inform me that part of an uncle's duties is to corrupt the niece?
I was never informed myself. I haven't had the best experiences with Uncles. Speaking of uncles, I get to spend the entire summer at Privet Drive. Hermione's traveling, Ron's going to a Quidditch training camp that lasts all summer, and because the Order still thinks you're trying to kill me, I am being guarded.
It's okay. How attached are you to your relatives? If you could would you travel this summer? According to my secretary, your secretary says you have no plans.
I'd leave my relatives in a heartbeat, and traveling would be great. Why are you asking? I have a secretary?
No particular reason. Did you know that Dumbledore just dumped you with your relatives? You don't have to stay with them. Do me a favor, go to their house anyway. Wait for at least a week. Buy some of those muggle sweets, but don't send them, I'll stop by when I get time. I asked Hermione she knows most of what you do and tries to keep your plans in order.
Okay then. I'll buy some as soon as I can. Provided my aunt doesn't work me to death.
She won't, trust me. Don't reply, as I'm betting this just reached you on the Hogwarts express.
Harry looked out the window, grasping Tom's last letter. He smiled, wondering what was in store for him. Looking across the compartment he grinned at Draco.
"You know? You're not going to attack us. That'll be strange. A ride free of annoying gits." Harry commented.
"I doubt it. There still is the Weasel." Draco commented, stroking Hermione's hair.
"True." Harry agreed. "I'll put up locking charms, just to annoy him. He's due here any moment."
"You never said, who were those letters from?" Draco asked.
"Tom." Harry said.
"Who is Tom?"
"Promise not to freak out?" Harry asked.
"Slytherin's honor." Draco said.
"Well, it all started when I wasn't getting my letters last summer." Harry began.
"Wait!" Ginny exclaimed. She jumped up and began rummaging around in her trunk. She pulled out a green leather-bound book with silver lettering on the front that spelled out 'Correspondence' and handed it to Draco. "Read this, it explains everything."
(and I was going to end here, but I had more stuff planned…)
Draco took the book and began to read.
"I had the letters bound into a book." Ginny said. "I charmed them so you have to have permission to read them."
"Okay then. But what about the new letters?" Harry said.
"They can be added in." Ginny said, "I got a good deal with the book binders."
"Okay." Harry replied, and watched Draco's expressions change.
I heard that you were looking to get some of my moonshine. If you still wish to, please owl back immediately. I am sorry for the delay, we were trying to get the next batch finished in time.
T. M. Riddle
T. M. Riddle,
Of course. My Scot relatives would enjoy it, and I wouldn't say no to a bit more either. Would it be possible for me to stop by Saturday? I believe I can find the manor back.
That would be lovely.
I will be going on a short trip soon afterwards, I have reservations
for three, but I only have one person going with me so far. Would
you like to come? I hope I am not being too forward, and if I have
offended you in any way, please forgive me.
T. M. Riddle
Of course I would go
with you. I still remember our school days. Who else is
A mutual friend is coming. We'll have to rescue him first, but that shouldn't take very long. Hope to see you soon!
I can't wait. I feel so silly, I'm all excited like an eleven year old going to Hogwarts for the first time. I wasn't aware that we still had mutual friends. See you tomorrow!
The tabby cat strode right up the walkway of the Riddle Manor, ignoring the Death Eaters that were strewn about snoring. Nosing at the door, it was opened from the inside, and a man who looked cute for his age peered down at the cat.
"Minerva, come in." He greeted the cat. The cat meowed and came in, walking past Tom.
Tom shut the door and turned to find the stern Transfiguration Professor looking at him critically. "So, do I pass inspection?"
"Yes." Minerva said, smiling a little, this was the Tom she remembered.
"Good. This is actually what I look like really, without the snakeface and the demonic eyes." Tom said.
"How nice. Shall we go and pick up that friend?" Minerva asked.
"Of course." Tom said, picking up a small ornament. "This will take us there."
Minerva nodded, and laid a finger on the Slytherin shield, feeling the tug behind her bellybutton, and disappearing.
38 Bottles of beer on the wall, 38 bottles of beer, take one down and pass it around, 37 bottles of beer on the wall. 37 bottles of beer on the wall—
"You're that bored Potter?"
Harry twisted around in his seat and grinned. "Yes."
"Well then, I'll have to fix that." Tom grinned.
"Okay then. Your sweets are over on the nightstand." Harry said, waving a hand over towards his bed.
"Mr. Potter? Are you even aware of who has just entered your room?" McGonagall asked snappishly.
"Yep. I though he'd probably be coming, but I didn't think you'd be coming too." Harry said.
"Mph..mph" Tom began.
"You're worse than Ron when you do that, you know." He said in Tom's direction.
"Hey! I resent being compared to that thing." Tom protested.
"Well, you shouldn't talk with your mouth full."
"Gryffindor golden boy."
"Proud of it."
"I've told you before, that's a compliment." Tom said smirking.
"Fine, you win." Harry glared at Tom before muttering, "This time."
"I'll be right back." Tom said before leaving the room.
"Tom, are you sure you should go out there?" Minerva asked.
"Positive. You two just sit tight. Harry you should pack your trunk." Tom said before leaving the room.
"Might as well do as he says." Harry muttered before disappearing under the bed.
"So where exactly are we going?" Minerva asked.
"No where in particular, I just thought we'd see as much of the world as possible before September."
"You are aware of the fact that I have to return to Hogwarts two weeks before term begins.:" Minerva said.
"Not really. We can always owl Dumbledore and say that an evil dark lord is holding you captive and using you as his—" Tom was mercifully shut up by a bucket of water being dumped on him. "Thanks" He spluttered.
"Yes, I'd consider it not advisable to finish that sentence of yours, Mr. Riddle." Minerva said smiling a little.
"It's not like I was going to say anything bad." Tom protested.
"You are in the presence of virgin ears." She smirked. "But once the virgin ears leave to go sightseeing…"
Harry winced and hurridley got up. "I'll be fine, I think I'll go and see the pryamids. Fascinating culture the egyptians, yes fascinating." He said nodding furiously.
Tom and Minerva watched Harry walk away. "You are very cruel."
"I know. It's sort of a permant habit now."
"Interesting." Do you think you could break that habit or am I stuck with it for life?"
"I'm not sure. We'll just have to find out." Tom said. "Are you going to let Dumbledore find out?"
"Find what out?" That I'm seeing the Dark Lord, his sworn enemy? Of course I am. Right after you say that Harry Potter is god."
"Actually, I have already done so." Tom said smugly.
"And pigs fly." Minerva countered.
Tom grinned and pulled a small winged pig out of his pocket. "Meet Piglet. I found him after I said 'Harry Potter is God.'" As if to prove his statement, another small pig poppefd out of the air and flew over to Minerva.
"I hate you."
"I swear you two are worse than Hermione and Draco. Just snog and make up." Harry said.
"Hey!" Tom protested. "I resent that tone."
"And what exactly are you going to do about that?" Harry asked.
"Nothing." Minerva replied and grabbed Toms hand. "We are going for a walk." She said and then pecked Tom on the cheek.
"Icky! I'm scarred for life!" Harry said.
"And you weren't paying attention at the tea party?" Tom asked.
"Should I have been?" Harry asked.
"Of course you should have been! You have an insane Dark Lord's followers after your blood. You should always be paying attention." Tom lectured, not noticing that Harry had left.
"Mum!" Hermione called.
"What is it dear?"
"Do you think I could go and write some letters? The birds they have here are remarkably reliable."
How is your summer going? Mine is running quite smoothly, except for I am not in the same place for more than a few days. But I am seeing the world, and you should really visit Italy. There are some good books, especially ones that you would like. I bought a few and included a list of the others and where I saw them. Some are muggle and some a wizard. All are good. I've learned a few interesting things, but won't use them on you. At least for now.
I hope that Tom has rescued you. And if he made you his ward as he was planning to do, you and I are cousins of a sort. Just thought you'd like to know. I hope to see you soon, perhaps our paths will cross, if not, happy traveling.
I hope that you are not too unhappy with the correspondence. Harry started it. If you do not have a home, stay in our place below Hogwarts. Do you think it would make a good permanent home? I think it would do nicely. Although the wards would have to be tweaked. The curses included are to go on the Hogwarts head table and on the gargoyle be Dumbledore's office. They activate with the phrase "Ronnikins is a wuss." That's all, my train is leaving in a few moments. I hope to see you soon!
I do so love cursing letters. It is so fun. In 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…3 ½…2…1 You will find yourself changed into a large lion. And now you will find yourself being compelled to walk to Hargid's hut. Enjoy your summer! And now the letter will change into a note to Hagrid.
I am a poor lonely lion who has not known love. Please take care of me. :sniffle:
-the poor lonely lion
"Well, aren't ye the cutest little thing. C'mon, lets get you introduced ta Fang." Hagrid said, carrying the lion into his hut.
Draco shut the book and smiled to himself. No, he wasn't angry at them, he just wished they had told him earlier. Maybe he should start the letters all over again. Maybe he would. But first, he had to go and set up those pranks. And the small cameras that they had perfected to see the prank happening.
That's all she wrote.
Well, this is the end of Correspondence, and I hope that you found this chapter satisfying. I'm not quite pleased with the chapter, but after eight rewrites, this is what you're getting. My thanks go to everyone who reviewed, and I'm glad that you liked it, I really am.
I don't think I'll be doing a sequel with this, only because I don't think it would work very well.. You all are welcome to take this idea and write it yourself. I won't mind, just mention me in the first chapter or something. And maybe tell me?
Thank you, all of you for reviewing, lots of times it made me laugh, which I really don't understand, but if we compiled a list of what I don't understand it would be very long, and the first thing on it would be me. I'll just shut up now, I think, but thank you for reading, and thank you for reviewing, it's been fun, hasn't it?