You wanna know a secret?

I hate Ramen.

Yes, I know, I'm sure your thinking what kind of crap is this stupid boy pulling on us? Him not like ramen, why it's like the sun not warming the earth. Well perhaps a bit dramatic but you get the picture. I can't say that I'm apologizing, though I feel I should, for not liking the disgusting, sodium broth and synthetic noodles. But for some reason it feels as if it's a betrayal, me admitting this terrible, awful sin of hating the one food I eat most.

To tell you the real truth, I eat Ramen because it's cheap, it costs barely anything to buy those little brightly colored packages from the store and even when I go to the stand I usually never spend more than three bucks. For a Gennin on a tight budget, that is very, very good. See even when I was younger and didn't get paid I got a monthly sum from the Hokage to take care of all my needs. Needless to say this sum wasn't very big and most of it usually went for paying rent and bills, whatever was left over was my food and clothing budget for the month. I quickly learned to scarf down the cheapest food I could find, even if it was the most hideous, disgusting thing I had ever tasted.

But when one is starving, one tends to look past those things rather quickly and see the true virtues of it. You wouldn't die from starvation, though there was an off-hand chance of food poisoning but so far it hasn't proved lethal. When I became a Gennin things got even tighter, my sum from the Hokage got a lot smaller and my salary barely made up for the decrease. I can by staples every now and then, milk, cereal, ect. ect. but usually only once a month and that's when I save enough from the two previous months. I suppose this sounds a bit depressing, huh? Please, I'm really not asking for sympathy, I learned long ago to live without such things.

Wanna hear something even more depressing?

Yesterday was my birthday and even I forgot it.

Isn't the day you turn thirteen supposed to feel special? I spent the whole day training and then trying to find that idiotic cat again. After that I went to the ramen stand, ate my usual two bowls, and came home. It wasn't even until about ten-thirty that night that I realized that even Iruka-sensei had forgotten. Perhaps it could be considered sad that it didn't hurt me that he hadn't remembered, after all I was used to it by then. But for some reason it was harder to fall asleep, I kept staring at the ceiling thinking about absolutely nothing and then I had to strangest urge to cry.

I suppose your not used to me being so frank, huh? I apologize right now for annoying any of you because of this babble, but it is my head and you are only my imagination after all. The only way I can keep a healthy level of sanity is by babbling to myself while I'm waiting for Kakashi-sensei or grinning idiotically while declaring some unintelligent tripe. But I get lonely sometimes too and it helps to talk to the one person who understands, that is if imagination could be considered a person, you. Isn't it strange that the only person I trust, the only person that I can lean on, the only person who shows me a bit of love, is myself?

I'm not really sure; nobody's ever been willing to take the time to explain what love exactly is. I know it has something to do with kisses and hugs and sometimes I wonder if it's that strange emotion I see in Iruka-sensei's eyes when he talks about Kakashi but, again, I'm not really sure. But I would, I would really like it if somebody would, someday, take the time and tell me, that would be kinda nice, ya know? I wonder if that's the reason I felt like crying that night, probably not, it was most likely just tears of exhaustion; it had been a long day after all.

Sometimes I get really tired of excuses, especially when I make them to myself. So I better stop babbling and empty my brain, Kakashi-sensei is going to be showing up soon and I want to be able to scream my loudest. But one thing before I go, one tiny little thing that I forgot yesterday.

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday dear me

Happy Birthday...

Well, that was unexpected. Just a tiny little blurb in apology for forgetting my number one ninja's b-day. I love ya Naru-kun and I promise to make it up with plenty of SasuNaru loving in this year to come.

Happy Belated Birthday Love!

OrangeBlossomNin