Title- Selfless

Author- Brooke

Chapter One- This Movie's A Reality

Genre- Drama/Romance

Section- The Butterfly Effect

Summary- Selfless. It was what he was. She was the only thing that he couldn't have without the consequences. So he gave up everything between them just so that he could save her. But, going back to the beginning, what would've happened if he had come back for her? –Evan at age 13- (Set in 2002 for the purposes of the music.)

Disclaimer- I own nothing. If I did, I'd be out spending my millions. Enjoy!



The look in Kayleigh's eyes as we drove away was enough to make me throw open the door of that stupid truck and jump out, just so that I wouldn't have to leave. The truth was, leaving her felt like leaving everything. Looking into that side view mirror watching her body get smaller and smaller by the second wasn't exactly how I had pictured our last day together. It felt like it was movie, almost as if none of it was real.

She stared at those words that were pressed up against the window like they were everything left in the world that she had to hold on to. I'll come back for you must have ran over and over in her head millions of times before it would actually be comprehended with everything she must have been feeling at that moment. The thing that I hated most was that... I never even got to say goodbye to her.


I just sat in my room as the pictures in front of me seemed like they were taken hundreds of years ago, when they were only taken within a few months from now. The one that seemed to hold my attention so tightly was the one that had been taken months before the explosion, the movies, and the junk yard... all of it.

A close-up of Evan and I was all that could be seen, but I remember that day so clearly. It was like it was just yesterday that Evan and I were sitting on the swings at the park, finally having a little time to just have fun together. Come to think of it, it was one of the last days that I remember Evan and me just having a great time together. I still can't believe that he's gone...


The ride to the new house was an extremely silent one. Not that it was hard not to say anything since there was nothing to say. The only thing that wasn't silent was the sound of the radio, which played that song in the worst possible way. As if the song wasn't sad and overwhelming enough, the tension that was felt in the air made it that much worse.

I'm always assuming the worst,

But you're going on none the less

And there's nothing to cushion your heart led fall.

Letters from further away

Keep pulling me close to home.

And there's something to cushion my callous sighs.

And I know that you hope for

Longer good-byes

Embracing for forever

And falling in your eyes.

I was still writing in my journal when we reached the house. It was everything that I had expected. My mom was trying to make it just like the old house. The only thing that would make that statement true was for it to be exactly that- the old house.

I walked up the steps with a box full of my things in hand. I opened the door to the smell of new house. Just because I knew she wasn't there made me hate that smell for the rest of my life. I walked in, looking around curiously. I found the stairway and made my way up the stairs and into the hallway they took me to. I walked down the hardwood floors as each time my foot hit the ground it sent a shiver up my spine.

I found a room that had been painted a Kelly green. I deliberately took it just because it happened to be my favourite colour. I threw my box on to the ground and looked around. "I guess this is home now," I whispered quietly under my breath as I surveyed the room and left.

I went downstairs to find my mom unpacking some boxes into the kitchen cupboards. I walked outside to the back of the truck to grab some more boxes to put in my room. It took me around an hour before I had brought them all upstairs. I jogged down the stairs and into the kitchen where my mom continued to put things away.

"Can I go for a walk?" I asked, hoping that she would say yes.

She looked up, "Okay... but please Evan, be back before it gets dark and try not to get lost."

"I will," I replied as I ran out the front door.

It was a confusing neighbourhood. I could never figure out exactly where I was since all of the houses looked the same. I hated that. I walked further down the street to see a multi-coloured figure of a playground. Seeing as I had no idea where else to go, I figured it might be a good place to go and just relax.

As I sat on the swings, I saw mothers and their children playing in the sandbox and kids running around in the fields playing football and soccer. As I watched, all I wanted was for Kayleigh to be sitting on the swing next to me singing a song under her breath. I think the entire world knew that that wasn't going to happen.


I could hear my dad yelling at Tommy again. It wasn't anything new. I had put all of the pictures away, except for the one of Evan and me. I was lying on my back just holding it up in front of me. I couldn't stop staring. I couldn't stop wondering.

Wondering just when I was going to see him again... did he care about me enough to really come back for me?

I never really thought that he knew how I had felt about him. No one knew. I wouldn't dare tell a soul. Tommy would most likely kill Evan if he had found out while he still lived here. While he still lived here... I hate the sound of those words. I just flat out hate that he's gone. Really, what I hate the most is that he'll never know just how much I truly cared. That is, unless he comes back and I have the courage to tell him.

What am I talking about? Of course he'll come back. He kissed me. That must mean something. It has to mean something. If it doesn't, then guys are more messed up then I ever thought they were. This is Evan I'm talking about... he'll come back.

I wonder if he misses me just as much as I'm missing him right now. I can't get over how much I miss him every second that passes by. It feels like each second is equal to one hour time is passing so slowly.

I still can't help but wonder what my life would've been like if I had gone to live with my mom. I wonder if Tommy wouldn't be like he is. That would be different. As much as I hate my dad, I don't know what my life would've been like without Evan. He's my best friend and I... I love him.


I spent almost two hours picturing her beside me. The millions of songs that I pictured her singing did nothing to comfort my heart. I didn't think that anything could really comfort me. I started walking home just before the sun started to set. With my hands in my pockets, I balanced myself along the curb as the cool breeze blew my hair around a bit. I passed the identical houses until the only way that I could tell mine from the others was that big, ugly, orange and white truck parked out front. And the 'Sold' sign on the front lawn.

I walked in through the front door to see my mom still in the kitchen, yet this time she was cooking dinner. I immediately went to walk up the stairs and walked straight into my room. I guess the movers had set up my bed for me, and all of my furniture had been put in.

I lay down on my bed picking up a box that was intelligently labelled 'Some Stuff' at the same time. I opened it up and saw my photo album sitting on top of everything. I took out the book and placed it on my bed, pushing the box to the side.

I opened up the book and see pictures of my mom and me, Tommy, Lenny and I, and then I came to that one. It was the picture of Kayleigh and me. I remember that day so clearly, it feels like it was five minutes ago that we were sitting on the swings at the park just having a great time together. It seems like that was the last time that we were together and having fun and just so... worry free.

I'm so mad that I had to leave, but it's not like I could've done anything about it. I miss her so much, and I don't think anyone will ever know just how much I miss her right now and... how much I love her.

-(A/N: Just to let ya know, the song is called Living In Your Letters by Dashboard Confessional. Well, I hope you all liked my first chapter! I was reading the stuff on here and you're all really talented writers! I think since we're all on here, I'm guessing that you all like the movie The Butterfly Effect. Haha.. At least, I hope so! It's my favourite movie and ever since I saw it I've been thinking of a story to write for it on here. I've written some other fics that you can check out in my profile. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and please review! Toodles. –Brooke)-