Author's note: Just a little one-part ficlet that entered my mind. a bit dark and brooding, hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Me poor. Go sue someone else!
See if I care.
He let the engine of his ancient vehicle roar angrily when he pulled out of the parking lot. He needed some sound, any sound that would reflect his mood. Which was a dark as ever.
He should have known. Should have seen it coming. And maybe he had, but that's what denial does to you. And as angry and disappointed as he was, it was now mostly directed toward himself.
She had turned him down. Told him no. Told him she didn't want to come with him. And even though it had hardly come as a big surprise, it had still hurt him. Every time she loudly denied her feelings for him, it had felt like a knife in his gut. Like being ripped open and left to bleed. And he was a fool to let it happen.
His anger was boiling within him now as he sped over the barely occupied highway. He was such an idiot! Years of hard training on the streets of New York and what did he learn from it? Nothing! He had opened his heart, he'd let his feelings for a girl take over.
Heart. Feelings. Stupid. He didn't have a heart, and if he did, it was only there to keep his body from slumping down, which might as well happen, because what's the point in living if you show your feelings and get rejected?
But as he couldn't command his heart to stop beating and he sure as hell couldn't command a girl to love him or to act on that love, he decided then and there to go back to where he came from.
Not New York. That's not what he meant. But he would go back in time till he reached the point before he got shipped out to meet his doom. The time where he had no feelings whatsoever.
So lets give this a try then. He had loved her. No he didn't, he doesn't know how to love.
She had turned him down. So what? Plenty more fish in the sea.
Told him no. Her loss.
Told him she didn't want to come with him. Then let her stay. See if I care.
He did care. Of course he did. But with every mile he put in between them, he kept repeating to himself that he didn't. it didn't matter to him. she was just a girl, nobody special…
He just wished with all his might that, wherever he was going, he would believe it by the time he got there. Sigh. It would be a very long night.