Mr. Kaiba, Why Have You Sunk To This Level?

We're here at Kaiba Mansion, where the rich Seto "Moneybags" (as a young Joey Wheeler calls him) Kaiba dwells with his younger brother, Mokuba Kaiba.

We are here to document how Mr. Kaiba lives his life away from his company, KaibaCorps, which specializes in making technology for the increasingly popular game, Duel Monsters. Among the most recent inventions is the Duel Disk, popular among both children and adults for its portability and compatibility.

Upon our arrival, the young Mokuba opened the door enthusiastically. He informed us that Seto was taking some "private time" in his bedroom. We assumed this meant that he was sleeping. When the butler was asked to give us a tour, we snuck away up into the "private quarters," where we were not allowed, to possibly see what this rich CEO does in his spare time.

When we arrived, we snuck to the room in which he was taking his "private time." What we were about to see, we were not ready for.

We saw the older of the two Kaiba brothers sleeping in footy pajamas, complete with a little "nightcap." In his arms was a teddy bear, tagged with the name "Mr. Snuggles."

Sneaking quietly into the huge bedroom, we examined his belongings. The room was kept neat, everything in good order. We found out that Mr. Kaiba has anti-gravity projectors on the bottom of his clothes, creating the light, gravity-defying look one often sees him in. An our investigation, we also found that Mr. Kaiba uses Herbal Essences shampoo, for dry hair. The sweet smell is rather intoxicating. He also uses the brand's conditioner and styling gel, for that look we all know and want.

After exiting his bathroom, we snuck over to where he slept. Mr. Kaiba was quite peaceful, until it happened.

"No!" he screamed. "No, no, no! You idiots, I told you! I...(snore) want to...(snore) ride the PINK pony!"

Shocked as we were, we had the courage to do our job. We stayed, listening to the entire conversation, an argument with a dude ranch owner about how he wanted to ride the pink pony. Then it turned into how the anti-grav projectors weren't working, and he had to get them fixed.

Taking the liberty of conducting a rightful interview, we poked and prodded the boy, to ask a few questions. What we got for an answer was not at all pleasant, unlike his pony-filled Lala Land dream.

"Why you little..." he started to say venomously before we cut him off with,

"Mr. Kaiba, do you have any hobbies besides inventing new technology?"

"Get out of my room, darn reporters!"

"Sir, we are not reporters, we are documentarists."

"Get out!" he yelled, his little nightcap falling off to reveal a bit of ruffled hair.

"Mr. Kaiba, did you cut your hair?"

"Why, yes," he said, suddenly smiling, "Yes I...wait a second, get out!" he yelled again, ushering us out to the hallway.

"Mr. Kaiba, do you feel that sometimes, people want to see too much into your life, and too many people are interested? Do you feel that you need more personal space?"

Mr. Kaiba was now at his breaking point. "Get out of my house!" he screamed, giving us a glare we didn't want to mess with. We backed down the hallway, and then turned around. He chased after us, to the outside of his mansion. This was when he realized when he was still wearing footy PJs. He started having a temper tantrum. Stomping on the ground, jumping, and roaring like a lion.

On we ran, to our office where we sit now, writing this documentary. But just a few minutes ago, we heard an insane knocking on the door. Hoping it was our boss, here to give us a promotion, we opened the door with enthusiastic smiles, only to frown to see who was there.

Our subject now had his anti-grav outfit on, the white one with all the belts...and you get it.

"You are going to pay for this," he yelled, as I told my friend to keep the camera rolling. I glided across the room, with Mr. Kaiba following me.

"This is great footage!" I yelled, because know we knew then what his personality was like. I ran out of the room and told him the interview was over, ran back in, and closed the door behind me, trapping him outside.

And now, we sit in our office, typing this part of the documentary, listening to the rythmic beating of Seto Kaiba music on our office door.

He truly is a part of history.