From: Minister of Communication Vincent Steed
To: Exarch Damien Redburn
Subject: Failure of Hyper-Pulse Generator network
I have completed the investigation you requested into the sudden failure of the Hyper-Pulse Generator network and the coinciding attacks that crippled those that remained, and I believe I have found the answer.
While investigating a downed HPG here on Terra, I discovered an ancient CD-ROM in the technical support office labeled 'Windows: Star League Edition'. I ran the disk through the control computer, and for a brief period of time, the Generator worked.
Then the screen went blue and an annoying animated paperclip appeared and informed me that my users license was out of date, and if I didn't upgrade 'Windows: Republic Edition' then the system would fail to work. I was also informed that if I attempted to circumnavigate the user's license, I would be subject to prosecution.
Further investigation uncovered the origin of the disk, and I am forced to conclude that attacks where perpetrated by the legal arm of the Microsoft Cooperation. I have looked into the matter, and upgrading all our HPG's to Windows: Republic Edition would cost an entire year's tax revenue, and we'd be upgrading with patches and service packs for decades.
I also uncovered a memo from Jerome Blake to First Lord Richard Cameron in which he stated that he would have like to replace the Windows program with something called 'Linux', but I can't find any further references, and am unable to determine just who or what 'Linux was/is.
In conclusion, I believe we must either find an alternate operating system for the HPG's, or train carrier pidgins to through hyperspace.