This is my first attempt at a Teen Titans fanfic, and I hope it's a decent one. I was really inspired by the episode Spellbound for a few reasons: 1) Raven finally had a love interest, 2) Her love interest was kind of cute, and 3) was sad how everything ended. I felt really sorry for Raven, because I think she deserves a happy ending. Anyway, if this story offends anyone in anyway, I didn't mean to. I'm not bashing anyone, and I'm especially not bashing on BBRae fans, 'cause I think the green guy is so freaking hilarious

Well, enjoy! Oh, and I don't own the Teen Titans.

My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate

Chapter One: Scars

By Twilight Shards

The faint beams of the light of the moon that hung in the sky did not penetrate the eternal darkness that was her room. Artifacts of the occult were arranged at different corners, adding to the mysterious atmosphere that she was so accustomed to. Forbidden books laid on the floor and her desk, and the fragrant scent of candles hung in the gloomy air. Although this room was a part of the tower, walking into it was like entering another dimension that was too surreal for words. That was how her teammates felt, but to her, this room was her sanctuary.

This is often where she would escape to, her own little space where she was not pressured to smile or laugh. This was where she was not questioned, not stared at, and most importantly, not judged. She knew the others did their best to include her in their social activities, and they treated her with kindness in their own individual ways.

Despite Starfire's over-enthusiastic and sometimes unbearable attitude and Beast Boy's acts of immaturity, they along with Robin and Cyborg would always be her friends.

But neither of them could understand her, try as they might. They could not possibly fathom what it was like to be her, and she always thought no one ever could.

Until one fateful day, he appeared into her life.

Eyes were closed in concentration and her legs were crossed. Her body levitated steadily above the ground, the edges of her midnight blue cape almost touching the floor. A curtain of violet hair framed her pale face, her lips reciting the sacred chant of her home world. Her solemn voice was the only thing that broke the eerie silence of her room as she meditated.

There was once a time when someone else's voice was heard here, a voice that brought her comfort that she had not known for so long.

She shut her eyes tighter, forcing the memory away. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." she continued to chant in an attempt to focus.

Two gray, but piercing eyes would often stare at her from the book they were imprisoned in. They were eyes that she found to be beautiful despite their lack of color.

Her voice was raised a pitch as she chanted. Crackles of dark energy were beginning to form, but she was too immersed in her longing to forget the past, to forget him...

His smooth, confident voice called her beautiful, something that she never expected to hear from anyone. He sounded so sincere that she was foolish enough to believe that she was even the slightest bit attractive...

The silent atmosphere was disrupted by bursts of black magic that radiated from her frail body, creating small rushes of unnatural wind. Her hair flew against her face, but her eyes remained close in her determination to concentrate.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

Even though he was made of nothing more than aged papers and scrolls of forgotten spells, feeling him wrap his arms around her was the greatest feeling in the world...

No, forget about him. I want to forget...!

She remembered him mentoring her, teaching her the ways of his own magic. She was so happy to hear his praises because they gave her a sense of confidence that no one else could have given.

Stop it...

She wanted nothing more than to release him from that book, so that once he was in his human form she would be able to see the true color of his eyes for the first time. She would have been even happier than when she had first heard his voice, she would even introduce him to her teammates.

The walls of her room began to shake as her cape billowed in the air. The rush of wind had escalated to a full-blown tempest that threatened to destroy her belongings, but she didn't notice.

Whenever he spoke, she felt that she had finally met someone that understood her. She thought that for once she was not alone, that she belonged to someone. He made her feel loved...


Her eyes flashed white for an instant, and the sound of glass shattering finally broke her trance. She fell to the floor soundly, gripping the edge of her cape as she tried to catch her breath. When her heart had stopped hammering in her chest, she noticed that many of her books were sprawled open upon the ground with some of the pages tattered and wrinkled. The blankets of her bed were thrown aside, and the curtains were somewhat in disarray.

Her dark amethyst eyes caught the glint of the shards of glass that were scattered on her floor. She realized that the mirror of her dresser must have broken during her meditation.

Ever since that incident, it was difficult for her to do anything anymore. Granted, she had tried to open up a bit more to her friends, but there was still a void that she couldn't ignore. It had gotten so bad that she couldn't even meditate peacefully anymore, and that thought alone scared her. There were instances when her emotions had gone out of control, and neither of them was good. The fact that she was unable to concentrate was frightening. She couldn't afford to lose control of her emotions. There was no telling what would happen if she did...

"Raven?!" A cheerful, feminine voice beckoned her from the other side. "Hello, Raven? Are you there?"

"What is it?" she asked, her voice showing no traces of her anxiety.

"I have been calling you for the past few minutes! Is there anything wrong?"

"No. What do you want?"

"I wanted to ask you if you wish to partake in the mutilation of pumpkins with our friends."


"Oh, please!" the Tamaran girl begged. "Beast Boy has told me that it is great fun! It would be much more enjoyable if you could help in the carving of silly and atrocious faces on harmless produce!"

"I don't think—"


Raven let out a sigh. If it would shut her up, then she would do it. It might even be good for herself if she took a break.

"Fine, I'll be down soon."

"Glorious!" Starfire exclaimed. "I shall make sure that we save a pumpkin for you!"

She heard a whoosh, and she knew Starfire had flown away to the others. Her attention turned towards the broken shards of glass. Her hand glowed with pitch black energy that engulfed the shards, and she assembled them in the frame with a wave of her hand. After the spell was finished, there were no cracks in the reconstructed mirror. It looked as if it had never broken at all.

Her hand touched the cool surface. Her reflection looked back at her, unsmiling and emotionless.

There were times that she had smiled, even laughed with her friends, but whenever she smiled around him, she never felt awkward about it.

In spite of his attempts to kill her friends and destroy her home, he made her felt good. Even wanted.

And that made her feel sick to her stomach.


Starfire's voice echoed through the hall, and Raven knew that she couldn't delay them any longer. She headed towards the automatic door and left her room.

When she reached the living room, she found that her teammates were eagerly waiting for her.

"Finally," Beast Boy muttered. "Now we can start!" He got out his knife and stabbed the top of the pumpkin, carving around the green stem.

The others began with theirs. Robin was instructing Starfire how to begin before starting his. Cyborg's pumpkin was instantly broken into bits because of his strength, so he had to start another one. He didn't begin carving right away because Beast Boy started throwing huge handfuls of slimy pumpkin seeds at him, and Cyborg had to retaliate by doing the same.

Raven observed them with a blank look on her face, and then she grabbed her knife and carved the top.

"My pumpkin is gonna be the best Jack o' Lantern in the tower!" Beast Boy boasted, seeds clinging from his green hair as he intently carved an eye into his pumpkin.

A look of confusion crossed Starfire's tanned face. "Your pumpkin is named Jack?"

Beast Boy looked bewildered, but Robin answered for him. "No, Starfire. Jack o' Lanterns are what pumpkins are called after people carve faces onto them and light them up."

"We are going to burn them?!"

"No, we're going to put candles in them so that they glow. You know, like a decoration."

"Ohhhh," answered the naïve alien girl. "So then...who is Jack, and why is a vegetable named after him?"

Raven's telepathically scooped out the seeds from her pumpkin and placed them neatly in the trash can as Robin attempted to answer Starfire's question. Her hand held the knife steadily as she began to carve an eye. She could barely hear the voices of her friends as she gracefully finished one eye and began on the other.

"Ha, you call that a Jack o' Lantern!" Cyborg teased Beast Boy through fits of laughter. "Looks like a five-year-old did it!"

"Like yours is any better, Cy?" the changeling replied back.

Raven had finished both eyes as the boys continued to argue. She looked back at the pumpkin, and decided that something was missing. Taking her knife, she decided to fix it.

", looks like Rae's got us beat."

"Your Jack looks marvelous, Raven!"

"It doesn't have a mouth though..."

It took Raven a few seconds to realize that everyone was gathered around her. She didn't know what was so amazing until she took a good look at her pumpkin.

Without knowing it, she had carved two perfect eyes, and had skillfully created thin slits in the center. Three more slits were carved underneath the eyes, resembling lashes, and two eyebrows had been arched gracefully over the eyes.

And like Robin had pointed out, there was no mouth.

"I still think mine looks better," pouted Beast Boy.

"Then get rid of it," Raven snapped, telepathically sending a knife that landed a bit too close to the changeling's hand for comfort. She stood from her place at the counter and before anyone could stop her, she had left.

Her footsteps sounded on the metal floor of the hallway as she reached her room. The automatic door swished open soundlessly, and she returned to the perpetual darkness that was her bedroom.

She went immediately to her closet, moving aside bizarre and strange artifacts as she did. Within a few moments, she had found it: the trunk in which she had locked away the ancient spell book that had created this whole mess.

She unlocked the trunk and the black and white cover of the book greeted her. She took it into her hands and brought it close to her. In this book existed the dragon that she had imprisoned into using the same curse that the wizard before her had conjured. Yet, there was a tiny part of Raven that wanted to lift the curse and open the book.

She shook her head and grew disgusted with herself. The warlock that she had foolishly freed was a villain. He used her and betrayed her as part of a scheme to break the curse that was placed upon him by his slayer. More importantly, he had tried to murder her teammates, the closest things that she had for friends.

Still...she felt special when he was around. Even if he was lying, she had enjoyed being with him.

"I'm an idiot," she spoke out loud. "He was going to kill me...he was going to kill them..."

A knock sounded at her door. "Raven?"

Hurriedly putting back the book back into the trunk and closing her closet, she answered. "What is it now?"

"It is I, Starfire. I wish to give you your Jack o' Lantern."

"I told Beast Boy to get rid of it."

"He could not. None of us could. Instead, we put a candle in it for you. It looks quite wondrous, would you not like to see it?"

Raven levitated herself off the ground and crossed her legs in a half-lotus position. "No, I don't."

"But you made it yourself. Will you not at least admire your work?"

Feeling that if she complied to her request that she would finally be left alone afterwards, Raven gave in. "Come in."

She closed her eyes as she heard the alien's footsteps.

"Just leave it on my dresser."

Starfire did as she told her, and after a few moments of silence, she spoke. "The others and I are worried about you. Beast Boy especially feels—"

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine," Raven answered, placing emphasis on the last word.

"Are you certain? Perhaps you would feel better if you talk about it—"

"I said I'm fine," Raven cut her off. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone."

"Do you not wish to watch a senseless horror movie with us instead?"


Starfire did nothing as Raven began to chant and fall into a trance. She stood there for a few more minutes and then left, the door automatically closing behind her.

After she had gone, Raven stopped meditating. She stood on her feet again and sat on the edge of her bed. Her amethyst eyes observed the Jack o' Lantern that stood glowing on her dresser.

The candle that flickered inside the pumpkin emitted an eerie light that made the eyes look alive. It was haunting, yet strangely calming at the same time.

She tore her eyes away from the lantern and rested her head on one of her pillows.

"...I truly am an idiot."

Misery began to sink into her. But Raven refused to cry. She wouldn't let herself do that. She didn't want to be weak ever again.

With that, she drifted into a dreamless sleep, her cape draping over her slim body as she slept.

He grew deeply concerned when he heard the loud crash of something breaking on the floor. He was worried when he felt the dark energy swirling around the girl feeding off her frustration with every second that passed, but he felt relieved when he heard someone come into her room. When he heard her voice and its restored calm, he knew that she was safe.

When she returned to her room, he felt the sorrow that seemed to emanate from her very soul. It was so strong that he could feel it from within the pages of the book he was trapped in.

He knew that Malchior was the reason the girl was feeling this way. He regretted not killing the creature when he had the chance.

He felt that this was all his fault. If he had never sealed Malchior within the book and would've just slain him, the dragon wouldn't have manipulated the one called Raven. He couldn't even warn the girl because he was overpowered. Malchior had gotten to her first, and he was helpless to save her.

He heard her come in. A pair of hands was fumbling in the darkness, and he felt her pick up the spell book. He could feel her warmth as she held it close to her. A few tense moments went by, for he did not know what would compel her to hold the book once more.

"I'm an idiot," he heard her spoke cynically. "He was going to kill me...he was going to kill them..."

There was, without a doubt, a tone of bitterness to her words, and he could sense the same sorrow that engulfed her very being.

He heard a second voice, and he felt her hands pushing the book back to where she had hidden it. The voices were muffled, and when a while had passed, he knew that she was alone again. She had fallen asleep, but he sensed the restlessness of her troubled soul.

If only he could break through this curse that she had placed onto the book. Then, he could apologize for not being able to prevent the damage that the damned creature had caused to her and her friends.

Malchior had ruined many lives before, but how he had the heartlessness to play with the emotions of an innocent girl was beyond him.

No matter, he was slowly regaining his strength, ironically only after Malchior was forced back into the spell book. He would free himself of this thousand-year-old prison and tend to the damage that his enemy had caused.

And perhaps, he could help heal that girl's soul, and she would know peace once again.