Author: Silver Side Sonic

Warnings: for today, none. He he, don't be afraid though. There will be some yaoi later on (meaning boy's love people, homo things, gay things, not your kind of story? Then don't read, I just warned ya.)

Pairings: hints of Sakura and Naruto. Very very light hints. Just this chapter, no worries.

Category: OOC? Please tell me if its so. I desperately try not to go OOC but I can't see very clear if I did or not. Not a one-shot.

Setting: About four years after where the manga/anime is at the moment.

Ohayo! Silver Side here!

One day, I got this phrase in my head, 'a boy called desire' and I had just written a super-dark and a super-fluffy Naruto fanfic. Two semi-oneshots and it was about damn time that I started to write something longer and with a good plot in it. Maybe the subject I used is a little chewed down but I hope it makes a nice fic to read anyway. In the upcoming chapters there will be angst, some fluff, some smut at least. Who the pairings are? Well, you can probably guess one already, but the others remain a secret untill the next chapters come out so you can read it at the Pairings section I will put up above every chapter.

Other than that, I had a really tough time keeping everyone in character even though they have aged four years. But it was damn fun to do that anyway, so I would be especially happy if people indeed think that I kept them in character well enough. (this implies, give feedback and review people ;;)

Then on a last note, I hate unfinished business. I have often stumbled upon fics that I loaded to read at my internet-less computer only to find out that a great fic only was a part one with so much capabilities to turn into a great long fic. So, as we speak, I have finished 62 pages of this fic already, consisting of ten chapters so far. And maybe to your delight or dismay, I'm only getting started. So the beginning chapters might seem a little slow at first, but don't worry. In a few chapters (only two or three) things will become a rush so please keep on reading .

One warning left: I don't have a beta. So forgive me if there are any spelling mistakes (which must be a terrible lot.. --;;) or form errors. That also has to do with the fact that my natural language isn't english but dutch. And no matter how hard I study on it, I will never become as sophisticated or good with my words as most of the authors here are. Demo na, I'm hoping that you can understand what I was trying to say in the fic anyway.

Have fun! And thanks for reading! If you can, please leave some feedback for me so I can adjust my mistakes or adapt my story.

To Shinkou, my wonderful Naruto-crazed yaoi koi 3.

Chapter one: Conquest

"You see Naruto, its only best for you... the Kyuubi is.. so now.." Naruto heard only half of Tsunade Hokage-sama's words.

The summer was at its peak and he could hear the kids playing in the river nearby. How he wanted to be in that same cold water stream, cooling down after the heat of the midst of the day. But there was one place he even wanted to be more at than even the most refreshing water on the planet.

He looked down the window, where Sakura was. He had heard her voice and was immediately distracted from the meeting. He was a chuunin now and was called to Tsunade for a mission. He smiled. Four years had passed and his feelings were still the same for the pink-haired girl. His heart still jumped as soon as he saw her or heard her voice. Nothing had happened between them ever since, and to be honoust, it actually had worsened over time. And he knew just the reason for that.

"You are late! Come on, before the kids take up all the space!" She squeeled, pulling the pale hand of someone standing outside his view.

Sasuke. He reluctantly let himself be dragged by her to the river, dressed in just black shorts and a black tank, a large white towel rolled up underneath his arms. On his pale skin were two bright red cuts. Naruto knew that he had just returned from a mission, got bruised, and now he had been given a few days of rest. He clenched his hands when he thought about how Sakura had jumped him the second he set foot in the village again. Lucky bastard. She was always drooling over him, squeeling like a rabid fangirl and trying to get his attention in any way possible. Even if meant squeezing herself in the tiniest pink little skirt and top she could find in the village.

'I hope he gets sunburned..' He softly muttered to himself, knowing that would happen very fast with that extremely white skin of his. Somehow Orochimaru also had a grip on his outside appearance, as well as his inner self.

"Naruto!" Tsunade shouted so loud at him that it brought him back to reality painfully quick. He took one glance at Sakura and a glare at Sasuke before he turned around to apologize to the current Hokage.

Why was Sakura always hanging over that guy..

"I'm sorry." He said quickly.

"Pay attention will you.. This is important."

Naruto sighed.

"I'm listening ba-san."

Ignoring the insult, Tsunade continued her story.

"You are going out of control Naruto. You destroyed half of the village that hired you for protection on your last mission."

"I didn't know the enemy ninja's could do summoning no jutsu too.."

"Then on another mission.. You dropped the load in the ocean while you were supposed to bring it to a town nearby.."

"You can't expect me to fight 4 shinobi's with my hands holding that bag to my chest!"

Tsunade waved it away.

"Then you did missions and completed half of them because your mind was somewhere else, then we have the fact that your jutsu's are so powerful that once you pull one people have to run for their lives."

Naruto ignored her. What was her point anyway?

"Dammit Naruto...", she groaned and slid a hand through her hair to stop it from falling in front of her face. "Four years ago, everyone in this village was scared because you had the nine-tails in your body. But as soon as people started liking you because you did great missions and even saved the village, it all started to go wrong again. We thought that we could make you use the kyuubi instead of it using you and making everyone fear you."

Jiraiya and Kakashi, who were standing a little further away, both nodded. For once, Kakashi had put his book away and Jiraiya his notebook. They would make a great team if they worked together on those books, Naruto thought.

"Now however,' she continued. "People give us a mission and as soon as we mention your name they panic and demand another shinobi or their money back. Only because they just know that something is bound to go wrong if we send Naruto to it. They know and we know that you are extremely strong.."

"Then why am I not a jounin yet then eh?" Naruto growled. He now knew why they had kept him around the village for the past few weeks. Well if he was that strong, why was he still a chuunin while Sasuke was already training for the jounin exam?

"That is the reason you are here now dammit!" Stunade yelled at him, losing her temper. "You are too strong and uncontrolled! People are starting to fear you again and I know you don't want that! And to top that, you are costing the village a fortune because everyone runs to another country for good ninja's! So shut up and listen!"

Naruto fell silent and looked to the ground. He felt too tired, too hot and too annoyed to reply to her.

"So here's what you are going to do. Train."

"Train?" He looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. He had trained all his life! And wasn't battle the best way to train?

"Yes, train. You are going away for a couple of weeks and find a way to get control of your powers and you won't be coming back before you know how. The last thing we need now is a chuunin with a short temper and powers that go out of control as soon as he gets serious."

"So who's going to train me?" He replied shortly. Training.. oh man..

"Nobody." Came the low voice of Kakashi sensei. "You know this demon best. So it's up to you to figure out how to get control over it. Jiraiya, Ebisu and myself are of no use if one of us would come along."

Naruto fell silent. Somewhere he had known it all along. He had loved the awesome power the kyuubi gave him and craved it every time his adrenaline level shot up, the power being too addicting to resist anymore. Every time he activated it, it made him feel so powerful that he knew he could beat anyone around him, not caring anymore what he destroyed with it. To be honest, it just felt plain..

"Besides that, you could kill us." Kakashi said simply.

Naruto twitched. Kakashi looked at him for a second and fished his book out of his pouch.

"Anyway, good luck and don't get killed." He said without any emotion and left the room, leaving a flaming mad Naruto behind and a chuckling Tsunade and Jiraiya.

Naruto glared at them.

"He is right you know." Jiraiya snickered. "Oh don't worry. Just go train and find control again. Somewhere far far away from here."

"Very far away." Tsunade added.

"I can't believe you guys.." Naruto muttered. They were letting him down! On the other hand.. He would train on his own, all alone. No perv-sennin, no Kakashi, no Sasuke watching his back, nothing! All alone! He could do whatever he wanted!

Tsunade regained control of herself. "Just do your best and don't get taken over by the power. Take all the time you want to get good control of it too. We know how much you want it, but you have to get that power under control yourself instead of letting yourself be controlled by it. Now then."

Naruto nodded. She was right. His skills would improve many-fold if he could use it controlled. Without even thinking, he grinned. It hit him like a brick, a nice thick brick. Everything came rushing into his mind even more, finally! After all these years, he would actually have a chance to just blow that ass Sasuke to bits. All these years it was like seeing Gai and Kakashi fight, all the time he was either barely above or below Sasuke. Mostly the latter, he admitted. The fights that had looked good had always been ended prematurely. This time it would be diffirent, it had to be diffirent. This time, after he gained control, he would simply overpower him. Sasuke wouldnt stand a chance.

Oh yeah. This wasn't so bad at all.

"See ya in a couple of days old lady!" He shouted and ran out of the room. No matter how old he got, he still remained the loud-mouthed ninja they always knew, still a kid deep inside his almost adult body. Jiraiya grinned. He reminded him a lot of when he was young, brash and stupid. He saw his own youth pass by in the image of Naruto. The fights with Orochimaru, their training, the betrayal.. The old man knew that he too would have done anything to become better than Orochimaru, just as Naruto tried to surpass Sasuke. Perhaps he was already much stronger than him, it was just a matter of time before Naruto would figure that out himself.

Naruto jumped down the balcony outside to the streets and started running to his house, not knowing that Tsunade had frowned and muttered, "Better make it months.."

Jiraiya turned around to face her.

"He'll do just fine."

"I hope so."

"I know so Tsunade. He won't break that easily. Besides, he has something to fight for, a very good reason to get control of the demon. He'll be fine." He smiled at her, trying to appear confident enough to take her worries away. If they lost Naruto already, they would lose a great asset to the village even before people knew it.

She sighed and turned towards her paperwork again.

"We'll only know that if he comes back. Alive."

Naruto couldn't smile any harder than he did right now. He would master that strength and finally beat the crap out of Sasuke. The jerk had first ignored him like everyone else. Funny.. come to think of it, even when he did find out about the Kyuubi, he still ignored him, but he hadn't been disgusted of it or had utterly hated him like the rest of village did.. Then he had been afraid that he would be overpowered by Naruto. Then he tried to find some new source of power as well. It repeated itself over and over again. The only diffirence was that now Naruto had an endless supply of power, even though he couldn't control at all, and Sasuke was only improving slowly, trying his hardest to tap a new powersource.

This time, it would all be diffirent. This time, Naruto would become so powerfull and skilled that he now finally would have the edge in the next time they fought. Sasuke might be training for the jounin exam, he would simply blast all the contestants away. Kakashi would see how great he was, Sasuke would be defeated and he would be the brand new jounin of the village. Heck! If they saw how powerful he was, maybe they would even shove that ba-san Tsunade away and make him Hokage instead.

Every fiber in his body became excited now. What if this would happen, what if that would happen. His imagination ran wild of ideas on how to make everyone finally see him for the great ninja that he was. It finally started to slow down and stop at a certain point in his mind, a single word that meant more than anything.


Perhaps if she noticed him being stronger than that jerk Sasuke, she would drop him and go out with him instead. Heh, he grinned, I could even do that idiot a favour in the process. I can go out with Sakura and he can be free to do whatever he wanted now. Trying to become stronger than me for instance, he thought. Sakura would be so thrilled to see him.

He quickly flung his packed bag over his shoulder and looked around the room to see if he hadnt forgotten anything. He wondered if he should take his favorite scrolls with him, or some more ramen. Somehow it suddenly seemed hard to leave this familiar place. Sure he had been away before on missions, but this was somewhat diffirent, disturbing even. It felt as if he wouldnt return here. It didn't feel like he was going to die, but more like this would be the last time he saw his house through these eyes. For all he knew, maybe next time, it would be the kyuubi who would see it, if he would finally take over his mind.

This wasn't going to be fun. This wasn't going to be easy. He was going to have to give everything he had to finally take control over the demon or it would take control over himself.

From outside he heard people talking on the streets, laughing in small groups on their rooftops, enjoying the hot summer dusk and the squeels of children in the river next to the village. Concentrating on the sounds, he could hear Ino scream to someone and Lee shouting as he practised his movements on the rocks. Then he heard Sakura giggle, followed by what sounded like Sasuke's low laugh.

Without even turning to take a last look at his room or the river nearby, he ran out of his room into the forest, determined to not return before he had everything under control, no matter how long it would take.

After a few days, nobody had noticed that he had gone missing. The heat continued to rage on, only broken by one or two little thunderstorms. But it being summer at its peak, it hardly made a diffirence to the weather during the day. Maybe only Hinata wondered where Naruto was, expecting him to join the others of their class at the river during the afternoon, when it was almost too hot to stay around the house. Even she and Neji, with their sensitive pale skins, spent time there now, be it almost only in the shade.

After two weeks, people slowly started to wonder where the loud-mouthed young blonde went.

Sasuke was one of the first to wonder about it. Naruto was always around him in some way or another, buggering him to prove he was stronger, yelling at him or somtimes simply because Sakura went everywhere he went. And of course, there would be Naruto too. Wanting to know where he was without arousing any suspicion and damaging his pride by asking about him, he searched around the village for Kakashi or even Jiraiya. But neither ninja's couldn't or wouldnt want to tell where he was.

Finally Tsunade said he was away on a mission and that she was too busy to deal with his whereabouts now. Sasuke had frowned upon her answer but hadnt asked anyfurther, he himself had a mission of his own to do. Naruto would have to wait for later or he would just show up eventually.

One month later, even Sakura became worried about him. No matter how much she hated that he followed her around like a little dog, she kind of missed his laughter and his pranks. It was always nice and busy when he was around and for some reason, nobody was ever really down when he was near. Even Sasuke didn't seem that interesting anymore since he had gotten down as well now that Naruto wasn't around anymore. She knew he somehow enjoyed teasing Naruto all the time and she enjoyed putting him down as well, just because they were friends and they could do that to eachother. Somehow, it was as if something was missing and even though they both hated to admit it, they missed Naruto. Neither did ever admit it it to anyone, not even themselves.

Four months later, there still wasn't any sign of him. Hot summer had turned into chilly and windy November and the trees were losing their foliage.

Slowly, Sasuke had begun to focus only on training for the upcoming Jounin exam so he repressed any thoughts about Naruto and Sakura, or anyone else for that matter. The only thing that mattered now is do as many high-ranked missions as he could and then train some more so he could enter the exam.

To him, every thought of Naruto faded away in time. Some would say repressed, others would say denial, he himself would consider it natural. What did he have to do with the idiot anyway? What did he ever add to his life besides annoyance? Nothing.. Boring moron.

Sakura had missions of her own to do, so slowly every thought of Naruto or the group they once formed slowly melted away. It was only that Kakashi once in a while looked outside and wondered how his student was doing and even more, if he still was alive. Winter wasn't quite the right place to be stuck in when you are outside and he wondered if Naruto would be experienced enough to make it through. He had been trained in survival of course.. but what if he was wounded, unconscious, anything! He wouldnt survive in the cold unpredictable weather outside.

When the new year had started, Kakashi set out in search of Naruto, partially because Tsunade had asked him to do so, only to check if he was still alive and partially because he himself was worried if he was still alive.

The jounin exam had started and Sasuke had been doing pretty well so far. He had shown quite some talent in various techniques and he could think ahead like a chess-player, just what a jounin was all about. The sharingan had enabled him to copy and apply various techniques to jutsu's he already knew or he had developed. A truly talented sharingan user, was the last thing Kakashi had heard the judges say about him.

Something was off about the boy though. Even though he was strong, smart and had a good chance of becoming the new jounin of the village, he missed a certain spark, a certain fire was missing in his moves. He moved like a machine, tired almost and troubled about something.

Unable to pull any words out of them Kakashi kept an eye on the two, both having numbed a bit. But to the naked eye, nothing was wrong with them. Not at all. The only thing he could think of was that they both had started to act like this after Naruto had left and the team got broken up.

Once again searching the woods, Kakashi hoped that by finding Naruto, he could everyone make feel a bit better now that even Sakura didn't even try to fight Ino anymore and didn't bother with anything. Kakashi chuckled as he hopped from tree to tree, who would have known that that little despised brat had such a big impact in how everybody felt around him. But no matter how hard he looked, he never found him and the days kept on coming, nobody knowing what had happened to him.

Winter passed, spring and summer arrived, Sasuke passed his tests and became a jounin together with Lee, Sakura went in training with Tsunade to become a medical specialist, Kakashi did his missions and refused another team to train from the academy, still feeling he hadnt completed the training of his students. But it seemed that everyone went on with their lives as if they always had and slowly the gossip and speculations about their most notorious young ninja's whereabouts had begun to fade away. Only his friends thought about him once in a while and even then only when they saw a picture of him as a reminder that this person, this blonde cocky boy, was once a part of them.

So in time, he became a blurry image in everyone's mind and his voice faded away. Only to a very few he remained an image of someone lost, but not forgotten. Before they even realised it, two years had passed and life still went on as it always had.