Disclaimer: Naruto is a Japanese manga created by Masashi Kishimoto. All characters in this story are copyrights of Masashi Kishimoto, Shonen Jump and Studio Pierrot.


The Lazy Uchiha

By Bud


They say that "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." It was a phrase passed down through generations which emphasized the strength of many peoples wills and the tolerances they have toward the ignorant. There are many more phrases that one could quote, but the quotes that are more important are those that play on "Murphy's Law".

Murphy's Law, "Anything that cannot happen can and will happen." It is a law that plays on irony, lucky and sometimes can defy even the laws of relativity, the laws of physics and the laws of the super-natural. Unlike the quotes stated in the previous paragraph, Murphy's Law plays heavily on words, especially those of the over-confident, idiotic, and egotistical. Phrases such as "Don't look a gift-horse in the mouth" comes to mind. Or "That will NEVER happen to me" also are few examples.

Today, we shall concentrate on the later phrase "That will never happen to me."


Uchiha Fugaku looked down at the newborn boy resting in the arms of his wife, Mikoto. A beautiful baby boy, his first son, who will make a fine edition to the head family of the Uchiha clan. A son to make him proud!

"Honey," Mikoto did not have to look at her husband, keeping her eyes upon the infant in her arms. Despite the stress of labor and the sweat drenching her hospital gown, she wanted to hold her child. Their child! "He's so beautiful. He has our eyes."

Fugaku placed his hand on the child's forehead. It was rare for a child to be born and have it's eyes open and also for the child to be so calm. In Uchiha history, these have been signs that a mother had given birth to a genius, a child who will strongly receive the gift of the Uchiha Bloodline.

The Sharingan.

"Itachi." Fugaku said, smiling at the his son. "We shall call him Itachi."

"Uchiha Itachi."


Months down the line, Fugaku, after returning from a long strenuous mission for Konoha and the Military Police Corps, sat in the veranda outside the Uchiha family mansion. Itachi was in his arms, quiet as always with eyes wide open gazing up at him. He gently rocked the boy, occasionally tossing him lightly in the air. Little Itachi seemed to enjoy such a maneuver, gurgling with each time he went airborne.

"Uchiha Fugaku," Mikoto said with a voice of warning. "You be careful with our son. You might drop him and bump his head."

Her husband chuckled. "Don't worry, my Dear. Itachi is safe in my hands." He tossed the boy once more.

She shook her head, returning to the kitchen. "I swear, sometimes you can be so hard headed. Be careful with my son, you can be such a clumsy oaf at times."

"Ha," Fugaku laughed, placing a kiss on his child's forehead. "You mother is too paranoid, Itachi my boy. Your mother sometimes forgets that I am the Head of the Uchiha, Captain of the Military Police and a great shinobi of the Leaf. She believes that I would drop you on accident," He snickered, soon allowing a long chortle to escape his mouth. "As if that would happen. Something like that will never happen to me." He tossed Itachi up once again.

Murphy's Law takes effect.


The loud cry of a baby hitting the pliant, yet firm grass filled the air for a brief moment before it was silenced quickly. Fugaku was up and over the high security wall that surrounded the Uchiha Head Family compound and on a direct course for the family doctor. Behind him and out of sight, Mikoto had arrived to find an empty veranda were her husband sat. The evil glint in her eye and the large chopping knife held menacingly in her hand was a vision that Fugaku was aware of, however, the killer intent emanating from his home was like a huge neon sign that read, I am going to kill you, Husband.

The doctor slapped Fugaku. He stared at the woman with a dumb-found look. "You should be more careful, Fugaku-sama! This is your only son and should feel more responsibility concerning his welfare. He is still a toddler and not a shinobi, yet. Such rough play is inappropriate."

Because of his status as head of the clan, he had by passed all waiting patients to see the family physician. It would only be time when his wife would be hot on his trail. Though she may be only a Genin, she was clearly a dangerous person to deal with when angered. She is his wife, after all.

"How is he, Doctor?" She smiled, slapping him once more. He rubbed his chin. "And that was for?"

"Just in case you decide to do something just as stupid, Fugaku-sama." She sighed. "Fortunately from what I can tell, there is nothing wrong with the boy, however, I would suggest that you bring him back in a week so I can see if there is any permanent damage."

"But, he's crying."

"Perfectly normal for a baby, Fugaku-sama."

"Itachi NEVER cried once since his birth! My wife can attest to such feat."

The doctor rubbed her chin. "For now, we can assume that there is nothing wrong. Like I have stated, bring him back in one week to run further test. If there is anything wrong before then, come immediately."

"Thank you, Doctor."


"I suggest for you to run, Fugaku-sama. It sounds just like when your wife went into labor with your son."

He was gone before she realized it.


End of Prologue


Author's Notes:

Okay, this is the prologue the story called "The Lazy Uchiha." It stars Uchiha Itachi who will have the type a different type of personality.

The names of Sasuke and Itachi's parents were never mentioned before, so I chosen some names at random and used them. So what if they don't translate good with the Uchiha name.

EDIT: I recently discovered the named of Itachi and Sasuke's parents. I have changed them accordingly.

EDIT2: For those that have read this fanfic before, I have re-written the prologue to fit the story. I made this sound like a self-insert than an actual AU with Itachi's different personality. Thanks for bearing with the old prologue for so long. This new prologue was based on the original dragon ball were Goku's (Kakkarot's) original personality when found in the capsule by Son Gohan is changed into an all new personality. Thanks you Dragon Ball for this inspiration.