A. Note: This is just something I decided I needed to write, since I'm a nutcase and all. It's taken out of one of the greatest movies of all time, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I think it's actually started by someone, but I don't think they've done this scene yet, which is what I want to exploit for laughs. Most parts are different, to fit the characters to my needs.
General notes: This is the scene of Sir Galahad the Pure, so now it's the tale of Sir Robin the Vain!
The Titans and the Holy Glor'nomThunder clouds dominated the sky, hindering the touch of any sort of sunlight to grace the land. Rain poured (you know, that's becoming the type of scenes I make) like a widespread waterfall upon the barren fields of Tamaran. The winds were icy and piercing to the skin, making the understanding of the word 'maelstrom' very unpleasant.
Slade: Sir Robin, my apprentice, though in here he is an idiotic knight, is seen shivering with cold as he treads through the crappy land that was Tamaran. It was a planet that is quite shitty and would make a wasteland look good, the people of the planet are also-
Robin: Get on with it you stupid bastard! I'm cold!!!
Slade: Insolent fool! One must utilize one's talents as the world needs. And it just so happens that my voice is superbly smooth and evil at the same time, the best fit for being a narrator. So learn to deal with it, my apprentice.
Robin: Shut up with that apprentice shit already!!! Ack! I feel frostbite!!!
Slade: Very well, I shall proceed. For I am cool. Sir Robin is seen running in the storm, until an angelic voice is heard.
Slade: Robin raises his head and sees......... The Holy Glor'nom!!! Shining brilliantly and heavenly on top of a castle. Sir Robin rushes to the door, and the scene begins............I'll kill you all later.
Robin pounds on the door, hard.
"Open the door, for the love of Batman, open the freaking door!!!!"
(Batman's voice: I don't get it......)
He was too busy pounding the door to notice it creek open, and so he fell face first onto the castle floor.
"Ow." He announced as he managed to get a better bearing. He lifts his head when he hears a sweet voice call to him.
"Oh, X'hal! Are you all right, dear stranger!?"
Robin sees an absolutely beautiful enchantress before him. Her eyes were of the greatest of emeralds, her skin an exotic color of orange gold, and her hair was like the passionate red of fire. She was wearing the two piece outfit of the female Tamaranians.
"............I am now."
The girl blinks confusedly before she giggles infectiously.
Robin immediately stands up, and scratches his head. "Uh......hey there, I mean-nice to meet you, that is, ummmm......"
The pretty girl giggles again and speaks.
"I greet you warmly, sir knight. I am Starfire of Tamaran."
Robin smiles at the name. "Starfire, huh? That's pretty, really suites you."
Starfire blushes a bit. "You are quite the flatterer, sir knight. Tell me...what is your name?"
Robin smiles at how cute the girl was. "I'm Robin from Earth, I am here to-"
Suddenly, a whirl of colors dashed from behind Starfire and charges toward Robin. It was actually in fact three girls, all adoring the same thread as Starfire.
"Ooooo, aren't you a sexy little man?" A girl with black hair and purple eyes cooed seductively as she caressed the boy's face.
"I saw him first, hands off, Blackfire. Oh! Such strong abs you got here." A pale girl with pink cotton hair exclaimed as she touched Robin's stomach area.
"Uh-wha! Hey!!" Robin yelped as someone grabbed his thigh.
"Oooooooo! Sensitive, aren't we?" A blonde girl smirked upon grasping the poor.........lucky boy's......yeah.
"Sister Blackfire, Jinx, Terra, please control yourselves. This poor knight is frigid and famished and could use-"
"My, my." Blackfire ignored the redhead's pleadings and continued to adore the lucky son of a bitch.
"Your clothes are just positively luscious. And this mask," she touches his lips purposefully, "makes you look very mysterious."
Robin is now blushing very madly. "Uhhh....can-can y-you-"
"Awwww, he's blushing! How cute." Jinx purred as she hugged the boy's arm, which allowed him to feel her breasts.
Robin felt his heart beating faster than a bongo drum played by a real Jamaican.
"Uh! Ladies, please-"
Terra slides slightly downwards. "Let's see how sensitive you really are."
Robin's eyes widened and he looked like he was going to die.
(Beast Boy's voice could be heard: We haven't even kissed yet! Give me back my Terra, you asshole!)
Starfire by now was blushing madly and horribly shocked.
"Stop this RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.
All of four of them stopped in their activities, well just the three girls, and gaped at the redhead.
"All of you, please refrain yourselves, and go prepare the castle to greet our guest."
The three girls reluctantly untangled themselves from the poor............lucky bastard and went back into the halls. Blackfire whispered to Starfire before she disappeared.
"We'll see who's the real ruler of this place on the next duel." She heard Starfire indignantly huff before she was gone.
Robin patted himself and wiped off some very odd scent of perfume.
"I apologize profusely for the behaviors of my sister and friends. They have not caused permanent damage have they?" Starfire asked, genuinely concerned.
(Slade could be heard laughing sardonically in the background)
"No, it's okay. I'm fine" (No shit!) He said while smiling.
Starfire reciprocated that smile. "I am glad."
The two stared at each other for a short while, not knowing what to do or say, until Robin decided to break the ice.
"Say......what is this place?"
"Why, this is the Castle Korian'dr, home of the females on Tamaran!"
"Castle Korian'dr? That's peculiar."
Starfire looked concerned. "Is it not a good name? Blackfire has told me it would not be a good name, but I did not want to appear weak. I-I-"
"No! No! It's a good name, it's just it's a Tamaranian name and I'm not used to it. Besides, if you named it, then it's good, it's cool."
Starfire relaxed and smiled warmly at the kind boy.
"Please, Sir Robin, what are your objectives of being here, if I may ask?"
Robin suddenly perked at her question.
"Ah! The Holy Glor'nom!!! I have seen the Holy Glor'nom on this castle!"
"The what?" Starfire asked, confused.
"The Holy Glor'nom! Is it here!? Are you the keeper!?"
Starfire looked at him worriedly. "Oh, you must be tired and delusional! You must rest for awhile." She claps her hands.
Raven and Kitty appeared from the halls. Kitty obviously wore the Tamaranian outfit, whereas Raven still had her cloak, so no one could tell. Raven was seething in an apparent suppressed rage.
"One day......one day...! I'll tear off the skins from all of your backs!"
(Shouts could be heard from the boys of the series to take off her cloak)
"Raaahh!!!!" Hatred showed and Raven gained another pair of red eyes.
"Raven, Kitty, please go prepare a delicious serving of Gorbodian Space Worm cuisines."
Raven and Kitty grunted as they exited the room, but not before Kitty blew a kiss at Robin. Starfire stared at the floating kiss and swatted it into next week.
"Glempork......" she muttered.
"Oh, it is nothing, Sir Robin. Come, allow me to show you the castle!" She gets a hold on Robin's arm and starts dragging him into the depths of the castle.
"Please! You must show me the Glor'nom! I am here to retrieve it!" Robin tried to struggle, though only a little, but found the girl exceptionally strong.
"Sir Robin, you must rest, you have suffered much and are in much need of restoration!"
"But, I-I, look, I have seen it-"
Starfire gazed at him pleadingly. "Sir Robin, you would not be so caddish to refuse our hospitality?"
"Well, I-I, have to-"
Starfire sighs a little. "Oh, I fear our lives here must seem dull and uninteresting compared to yours. We are but dozens of young females who have taken shelter within this castle, without seeing much of anyone for long whiles, perhaps the reason why my friends and sister has been so promiscuous."
She leads Robin to sit on a pink bed. "All of us have different hobbies, such as Raven enjoys reading and torturing certain people of either gender. But most of us do find pleasure in the crafts of making plushy dolls!" She says excitedly.
Robin looks and sees a well made Beast Boy doll.
Starfire looks at the boy pleadingly again. "Would you please accept my-our hospitality? Sir Robin?"
Her eyes were of the typical puppy dog eyes and Robin found himself replying in the only way possible.
"Anything for you."
Starfire squeals and hugs the boy joyously.
"I thank you, Sir Robin, you will not be disappointed."
Robin awkwardly places his hand behind her back to return the hug slightly.
His stomach suddenly grumbled, very loudly.
Starfire giggled as she removed herself from the hug. Robin blushed and scratched his head.
"Ahahahehe......sorry about that."
"Oh, do not be. Please remain, we shall attend to your every need." She clapps her hands.
Raven, holding a tray of odd looking food, appeared from the halls in response to the clap. She looked like she was going to blow up the entire castle.
Starfire beams at the girl and turns to Robin. "Friend Raven shall attend to your nutritious needs. I must see to the other arrangements of this castle. I shall return shortly."
Before Robin could protest, Starfire was gone. He looks at the gothic girl fearfully.
Raven picks up a large piece of unidentified substance, that seemed to be moving, and moved closer to Robin, who backed away.
"Look, just do your job and eat this piece of crap."
"Oh no! I'm not touching that stuff, much less putting it in my freaking mouth!"
"Just eat the damned thing, before I shove it down your throat!" Raven got closer, and her eyes glowed darkly.
Robin looked very scared, both at the girl and at the food.
"I-I, ummm, just ate!"
She suddenly uses some unknown dark power and forces Robin to eat the crappy food.
Robin eventually managed to swallow the thing, through much gagging. He turns green, blue, purple, and grey before he spit some pieces out. He leaps off the bed and dashes off.
"Torment me no longer, woman! Tell me where the Glor'nom is!!! I have seen it!"
Raven glares at him, as if he was insane and rude. "There's no Glor'nom here, idiot."
"I have seen it! I have seen it! I have seen it!" Robin chanted as he charged into a curtain, to reveal a room. A room that was basically a small orchard of hot Tamaranian chicks and numerous dolls.
"Hello......" All the girls greeted at once. Then, slowly and at different times, the girls begin getting up and greeted the boy with sensual and pleasant (Hoya!!!) 'helloes'.
Robin begins sweating from all the estrogens in the room, and also grimaced at the massive number of plushy dolls. He also noticed a doll in the version of him.
"Hello, Sir Robin." A very sexy voice sounded from behind him. Robin spins around and sees someone who he wasn't looking forward to see.
"Oh, I feel so special, you remembered my name." She moves in to touch him.
"I-uh, must go!!!' Robin moves away and begins his escape.
"Where are you going, Sir Robin?" Blackfire purrs.
Robin shouts his answer. "I seek the Glor'nom! I have seen it, on top of this castle! It must be here!"
"Oh no! Oh no!" Blackfire's debonair suddenly changed. "Bad, bad Starfire!"
"Huh? I don't think Miss Starfire is-"
"Oh! Wicked, bad, naughty Starfire! I just remembered, she has been setting alight our mascot of this castle, which is Glor'nom shaped. It is not the first time we have had this problem!"
Robin looked crestfallen. "It......is not the real Glor'nom?"
Blackfire looked guilty. "Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Starfire! She is a naughty person and must be punished." Her hands started glowing violet with energy, and she suddenly grinned evilly.
"By expulsion!!! Hehehehehehehe...!" She stops at seeing the perplexed expression of Robin.
"Ummm yes, well..." Blackfire suddenly looks at the screen and addresses the audience.
"Oh, should I go on with this scene? It's so corny and stupid, can't we just cut this crap!?"
Robin glares at her critically.
"But it sucks!!!"Alex Soto is seen in a chair. "Just hurry up with the crap so I can go back brooding for more magnificent scenes on season four!!!"
Speedy and Hotspot looks bored. "We had to clamp coconuts together, so it's only fair!!!"
"Yeah! Besides, I had to bang my head with a freaking book all day!! So get on with it!!!"
Aqualad is underwater and speaking, though only bubbles came out.
"Brubu lidsii froghe oudfd......(translation) I think I should have done the scene! I am much more handsome and cooler, and I got this awesome skill to talk to fishes and stuff and-"
Galfore is seen on his throne. "Get on with it, you unscrupulous traitor!!!"
Blackfire still looked unpleasant. "But this is not a nice scene! Why does Starfire get to-"
Slade's pissed voice is heard. "Get the hell on with it!!!"
We see the H.I.V.E. academy. "Yes!!! Get on with it!!!"
The entire Jump City. "Yes!! Get on with it!!!!"
Mad Mod as God appears in the sky. "Rit' luv! Gets on wid it!!!"
Blackfire sighs, and walks over to Robin. "Here in Castle Korian'dr," she spat the name, "we have one rule for the punishment of the misguiding Glor'nom beacon. You must hug her, and hug her hard!"
All the girls seemed excited by this news. "A hugging! A hugging!" They chorused.
"Well, that's not so bad..."
Blackfire continued. "You must hug her well. And after you have hugged her......you may do with her as you will. And then...hug me!!!"
A girl came up. "And hug me!"
"Yes, you must give us all good hugs." Blackfire said as she got closer to Robin.
"A hugging! A hugging!" The girls chorused.
"And after the hugging, the spanking!"
"Well that's-"Robin's eyes went wide. "Wha-wha-wha-wha-what!!!!???"
"Yes, Sir Robin, you must give us all some good, nice, firm, spanking..." Before Blackfire could continue, Starfire came back in, and gasped at the scene before her.
"Oh, you glemporks!!! Leave Sir Robin alone!!!" She dashed in front of the scared Robin and stared Blackfire off.
"Back off Starfire, he's mine!" Blackfire yelled.
"I will NOT! Dear sister." Starfire growled back.
Blackfire powered up her hands. "Bring it on, sister."
Starfire did the same. "It shall be brought, sister."
(Beast Boy's cat meowing sound can be heard)
The two began a full frontal combat, shooting bolts and tearing the castle to pieces. The other girls begin running off, screaming.
Robin stared absently for a few moments before sitting down and just watched.
Suddenly, the door busts open and Cyborg comes rushing in. He sees Robin.
"Sir Robin!" He cries, relieved.
Robin looks behind him to see the android. "Oh, hey. What's up?"
"You're in great peril!!"
Raven shows up from the smokes and debris, unharmed. "No, he isn't."
Cyborg arms his sonic cannon and aims at Raven. "Silence, foul enchantress!"
Raven glares at him and walks away. "Just you wait, after I change my clothes, I'll make sure you scream like the girl you are." She disappears into the halls.
Cyborg returns his attention to Robin. "Quick! I'll cover your escape, come!"
"Look, I'm fine, just wanna watch this." He points to the fighting girls.
"Oh man! Dawg, if we get some mud, we'll be in the gold, man!!!" Cyborg stops himself.
"Aw, no! We can't do this, c'mon! The T-car is out there waiting!"
Robin begins to get up, reluctantly, then an idea hits him.
"Wait just a second!" He dashes into the battlefield.
"Hurry up, dawg!!!" He turns his head to see Jinx.
"Hey, sexy mama! You from around here?"
Jinx waltzes up to the teen and grins. "Most definitely, and I think I can use a change of scenery." She traces a finger across the human part of Cyborg's arm.
Starfire and Blackfire were seen fighting dangerously, and the castle was crumbling from the impacts. Blackfire suddenly hits Starfire with a lucky shot. Starfire grimaces as she now has an even bigger opening, and Blackfire grins before she powers up her hands and-
BIN!! Suddenly, a freeze disc flies over and freezes Blackfire's entire body.
She falls to the floor, frozen in the same position.
Starfire squeals in delight as Robin appeared.
"Hehehehehehe......what you know? She isn't that hot after all." He walks over, picks up the frozen piece of Blackfire, and tosses her out the window.
Blackfire flies far until she lands in the hands of ............
Blackfire blasts the head portion of her frozen self and screams bloody murder as the green blob carries her off.
"Oh, I thank you Sir Robin!" Starfire yells as she hugs the heroic rescuer.
Robin grins. "Like I said: anything for you." She beams, but frowns as she saw her castle.
"Ooooo. The castle has been permanently damaged, repairs cannot be made."
Robin smiles. "Well, I kind of had an idea..."
"Oh? Please, tell me, Sir Robin."
Robin holds her hands. "Well, since your place is crashed and all, I was thinking maybe you would like to come with me? To search for the Holy Glor'nom. With me and my friends, we form the team known as the Teen Titans."
Starfire looked pleasantly surprised. "Truly!? You would welcome me!?"
Robin smiled, again. "Again, anything for you."
Starfire hugs him passionately. "Oh, thank you, Sir Robin, you are truly a wonderful man!"
Robin returns the hug. "Richard."
"Richard, that's what my closest friends call me."
"Richard......" Starfire mumbled as she stared at the boy's face dreamily. Robin seemed to have the same effect, and brought his face closer to hers, while mumbling. "Star......"
(On the backstage, several people could be heard, trying to stop the scene, but the voices of the entire crew of Titans met them head on. "We want Starfire!" Boys yelled. "We want Robin!!!" Girls screamed. Nightwing narrows his eyes. "I'm not letting you people getting in the way of me getting some! Raaaahh!!!" The battle begins)
Unhindered by anything, the two met each other in a passionate embrace of the lips.
A spotlight is shined on them and birds and flowers showed up suddenly.
They were about to increase the passion of the kiss when a honking sound broke their concentration.
They broke the kiss, looked at each other, and giggled.
"C'mon, let's go. We'll talk on the way." Robin took her hand and they ran out the broken castle.
Starfire gasped in awe when she saw the T-car, operational and full of spunk. They got in the car, and Cyborg greeted them.
"Yo! Rob, you finally got here. Hey, you got a new lady friend, nice!"
Robin smiled at the girl beside him warmly. "Sure did."
"Please to meet you, new friend." Starfire greeted the android.
"Nice to meet ya, too."
Robin suddenly saw Jinx in the passenger's side.
Jinx grinned. "Hey there, remember me?"
"Unfortunately." Robin grimaced.Cyborg was about to ask when suddenly, a tremor ran through the ground.
Robin looked out the window and gasped. "Slade robots!! We gotta run!"
"Hold on to your panties! Here we go!!!" Cyborg stepped on the accelerator and the T-car sped off, with the hoard of robots after them.
Starfire grinned from all the excitement. "Are all your adventures so thrilling!!??" She shouted to Robin, who was throwing explosives discs at the enemy behind them.
He turned around, and held the special girl's hand.
"With you around now, everything is exciting."
Slade: And so part of the Teen Titans and the new members sped off into the sunset of Tamaran, on their continued quest of searching for the Holy Glor'nom. Robin had acquired a new love, and things were looking great. That is, until I kill them all! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!
Robin: Shut up you freaking bastard!
End- (kind of)
Closing notes: Oddly enough, I really liked it. I felt refreshing to write something so stupid. Ahahahahahahaha!!!! The scene was obviously modified almost completely, but it fitted my needs, so there!!!! And a last note, the Glor'nom is up to you to decided what it looks like.