an: is my wonderful preview for my next fic, which is a prequel to Shadowed Veil. It pretty much recounts (is that a word, or did I just make that up?) the last 7, I think, years of Lily and James's life, as well as their friends' lives at the time (basically year 5 til they're about 22...that's 7 years, right?). The exerpt below is the last half of the first chapter, and the first half of the secondchapter. I couldn't make up my mind which I wanted to post, so I compromised.
And just real quick, as to the format of this fiction: This is primarily based around our beloved Marauders, but I must include the dear women in their lives, which, as I came up with the idea of the Memiors presented a problem. How could I tell a story from the girls' perspectives at times, when the Memiors are written in first person? Solution: the majority of the story is a third person narrative. However, at the end of the each chapter, there is an exerpt from the Memiors that was written in relation to what is happening in their lives (the narrative) at the time. Understand? Hopefully you do. Example, in case you don't: In the middle of this, there is an exerpt from the Memiors written by Sirius that coincides with what just happened to him. Also, something to keep in mind (and to keep you guys from possibly being confused), the Memiors were passed between all four boys. They would read what their friends had written a few days after it was written (occasionally while it was being written) and felt that they must add their own comments, and marginal notes. You'll understand what I mean when you read it.

reviewer responses are at the end


(Oh, real quick...breif warning: the in the beginning of this, there is quite a bit of swearing...if it bothers you, i am sorry)

Sirius could still hear his mother yelling at him from downstairs. Not for the first time, an argument had erupted in the Black household. In the recent years, the longest Sirius and his mother had ever gone without arguing with each other was a week and a half. It wasn't exactly the epitome of a mother-son relationship. Sirius could never remember actually liking his mother, even for just a brief period of time. Ever since he had started school, however, his dislike had slowly turned into hate. He couldn't stand to be in the same house with the woman, nonetheless the same room. Normally, during school holidays, he'd spend his time at one of his friend's house, putting as much distance between him and his family as he possibly could without actually leaving the country. This summer, unfortunately for him, his parents said that was not an option.

This past summer was his parents' attempt at "reforming" him. They had gotten fed up with Sirius and his views and outlooks on society. Sirius had always failed to see what made pure-blood wizards any better than half-bloods or muggleborns. His parents and younger brother, however, seemed to think that they were superior and the fact that they were pure-bloods made them practically royalty. For years, Oedipus and Nerissa Black had thought that there was, quite possibly, something mentally wrong with their eldest son. He seemed to naturally lack proper pure-blood pride, but worse than that, he didn't care about it at all. For sometime they ignored it, telling themselves that once he went to Hogwarts, and was sorted into Slytherin, he would naturally conform to the opinions and views as his classmates. There was one problem with their plan, however. Sirius was never sorted into Slytherin.

By the time Sirius had turned eleven, he had grown to detest his family enough that he would have sold his kidney on the black market not to be sorted into Slytherin. Consequently, he was put in Gryffindor, who just so happened to be Slytherins natural rival. Members of both houses were constantly going head to head with each other, and that suited Sirius just fine. Just like his parents had thought, Sirius adopted the views that his classmates in Gryffindor held; not because he was trying to conform, but because he agreed with them. For the first time in his life he didn't feel that he was constantly being ridiculed for his opinions. He was accepted by people who, like him, felt that there was no shame in having muggle blood. Being accepted by others made it easier for him accept himself, something that he had a hard time doing before. Even though he did hate his family, it was hard for him to be comfortable with himself when his parents had constantly berated him and beat at his self-esteem. As a result, he came home every summer more and more confident about himself and more and more proud of his political and social opinions.

This past summer, however, Mr. Black had decided he had had enough of his son's "unnatural behavior" and that it was time to "put a stop to it, once and for all." For Sirius, this just meant that the summer before his fifth year at school was going to be hell. His parents went all out, too. Not only was he forbidden to leave the house without a member of his immediate family, which Sirius found particularly painful, as he enjoyed running to clear his mind, but they successfully tried to sever his ties with all of his friends. The entire summer, not only had he not been able to contact James, Remus, and Peter, but he had not been able to receive their letters as well. Mrs. Black had given their house-elf direct orders to go through the post and burn anything and everything that was sent to Sirius, save his letter from Hogwarts. He had been forced to attend all family functions, which there seemed to be an unusual amount of. At home, he would spend hours at a time locked in his room, just trying to escape his treacherous family. Even this, however, his parents would not allow him to have. He was forced to be in their presence for as long as his parents could manage. They wanted him to be under their influence for as long as possible, trying to force their views upon Sirius.

All in all, Sirius was miserable for the duration of the summer. As he hardly went outside, he had become unnaturally pale. He quickly lost his appetite after the first week and hardly ever ate, and only attended meals when his parents forced him to; but even then he was always the last to arrive and the first to leave. Sometime at the end of July, Sirius did have a small bout of luck, however. He managed to get a single letter out of the house to his best friend, informing him of his current predicament and pleading for a rescue attempt. He knew that after that letter, his house was almost bombarded with letters from James, but Sirius had watched Kreacher, their house-elf, burn all the letters miserably. The summer did not seem to have an end for Sirius. He had been terrified that his parents would forbid him to return to Hogwarts, and he would be stuck in Grimmuald Place for the rest of his life. However, now there was a glimmer of hope. Today was the first of September and in about fifteen minutes, he would be at King's Cross Station about to board the Hogwarts Express. He would finally be free from his family, if he didn't die in their current argument, that is.

"GET BACK DOWN HERE, YOU USELESS PIECE OF FILTH!" his mother's voice floated up through the narrow hallway.

"Yeah, call me names, that's going to get me downstairs real quick," Sirius muttered, grabbing his trunk. He knew that he was going to have to go down stairs soon, anyway, unless he wanted to be stuck at Grimmuald place for the school year. He yelled down to her, "WHY? SO YOU CAN BLOODY YELL AT ME MORE, YOU CRAZY OLD HAG?"

That set his mother off again; Sirius laughed as his mother yelled stupid insults at him. Only Nerissa Black could be idiotic enough to yell insults like "shame of my flesh." Sirius still had to figure out how exactly that was meant to insult him. After a bit more yelling (it was very rejuvenating, mind you), Sirius did finally come downstairs. As soon as he had, however, he wished that he hadn't.

"It's about time you got down here, you bastard," she snarled. Sirius froze where he was standing. It was never a good sign when his mother started swearing. It typically meant that she was beyond sensible reasoning."I have half the mind not to let you go back to that school. I knew we should have sent you to Durmstrang, maybe then you wouldn't be so messed up. But then again, perhaps it's those despicable excuses for wizards that you call friends that ruined you. Blood-traitors, and filthy half-bloods. Little better than scum, if they're better at all. They don't belong in our world," she hissed at him venomously. "They're not worthy enough to lick the dirt off my shoes, nonetheless associate with my son."

As soon as she had said the word 'friends' Sirius had immediately clenched his teeth and tried to keep his temper under control. Just a little bit longer, he said to himself. Then you'll never have to deal with her again. However, as soon as she mentioned worthiness, he lost all control.


His father, however, wasn't about to let his loathsome son speak of his wife that way. Before either Nerissa or Sirius could do anything more, Oedipus Black grabbed his elder son by both arms and forcefully spun him around.

"Get your hands off of me," Sirius hissed, still trembling. He wrenched out of his father's grip. His father instantly grabbed him again, this time holding more firmly so he couldn't get away.

"Don't you ever speak to your mother like that, again, Sirius," he spat in Sirius's face. Suddenly and violently, he spun Sirius so his back was against the wall. Lifting him bodily off the ground, he pinned Sirius to the wall. He continued, his voice dripping with malevolence: "If you ever even think of treating your mother like that again, I swear, I swear that I will beat your sorry ass so bad that you won't ever see the light of day again, do you hear me boy? I swear, I will crucio your weak pathetic ass until there's nothing left of you. Not a single goddamned thing."

Sirius stared at his father in horror. Never once could he remember the man ever speaking to him like that, and quite frankly, he was terrified. His father was a man of his word. If he said he would cast an unforgivable curse upon his son for showing disrespect, then he would. Regulus and Nerissa watched the entire scene with a mix of horror and twisted amusement. The entire house went silent for the first time in ages. Sirius was still pinned to the wall when his brother quietly said, "Put him down, Dad. We're going to be late, otherwise."

As if suddenly realizing that he was pinning his son to the wall, he let Sirius go. The entire family seemed to snap back to reality. They headed out to the car as if nothing had happened; Sirius kept playing the conversation over and over again in his head. He couldn't forget it. He had known that his parents could stand him about as much as he could stand them, but their distaste for each other had never reached the point of physical threats. Granted, his mother was always threatening him during their arguments, but how can anyone take someone who yells things like"shame of my flesh" up the stairs seriously? Too much inbreeding in pure-blooded families- it created loons like his mother.

For Sirius, the car ride to King's Cross couldn't go fast enough. He needed to get away from his family before something else happened. After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled and climbed out of the car. As soon as the family passed through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 and onto platform 9 3/4, Sirius fully realized he was free at last. He instantly parted from his so-called family without a second thought about it.


The Marauder Memoirs:

Sirius. Sometime towards the beginning of our fifth year Note to Sirius: Learn how to date these bloody things properly. James. Note to James: Who cares? Sirius.:

I remember very clearly the first time I ever went to James's house. My whole life I had lived in a house where I was unappreciated on the best of days, and unloved on the rest of them. Being as young as I was, I just thought that everyone's homes where like that. I didn't know anything else. I stayed at James's place for the last few weeks over the summer before our third year. It was the first time I had ever been at his place, and I had expected it to be much like my own. I thought his parents would be as indifferent to him as mine were to me. I showed up at his place, and as soon as I went through the door, I could feel there was something different about his home. It took me only an hour or so to realize what was different: his parents had cultivated a home where James and his older brother were loved. It was so different from my home that even after only a few days of staying there, I wanted what James had, but I knew I would never have it in my own family. And yet, while I didn't have it in my family, it was present in my life. I could tell that James thought of me as a brother, and his parents seemed to like me well enough. Ever since then, I seemed to realize that blood was not what made a family, but– and I know this sounds cliched– love. From that point on, I really didn't consider those lunatics I lived with over the summer my family. I had a different family. A family who loved me. A family at school.


Sirius pushed his hair out of his eyes and began scanning the crowd for his friends. He spotted Remus a ways off talking to his father.

"Remus!" he yelled through the crowd, knowing his friend would here him.

Remus turned around, and after spotting his friend, he yelled "Sirius!" in much the same manner. Sirius ran to catch up with him.

"Glory, Sirius," he commented as Sirius caught up to him. "You look almost as terrible as I do." He was, of course, referring to the fact that Sirius looked very pale and slightly malnourished.

"Yeah, but you have an excuse to look terrible," Sirius replied lightly. The full moon had been less than a week before.

"I'm not too sure about that. Being locked up with your family seems like a pretty good excuse to me."

"James told you?" Sirius asked.

"Yup. We planned for a couple of weeks on ways to break you out, but none of them would have worked out," he replied, but then added, "Well, some of them would have, but they involved blowing up your house."

Sirius laughed, "I don't think that would have been all that bad."

"Yes, but you would have still been in the house at the time."

"Oh." He scanned the crowd again. "James here yet?"

"I haven't seen him. Let's go find a compartment, and then see if he's here yet."

"He's always late," Sirius grumbled. "Because of him we were stuck in a compartment with a bunch of first years last year. Remember that?"

Remus snorted. "How could I forget?You and James scared the crap out of them."

"It was fun, though." Remus shrugged. They found an empty compartment in the back and left their trunks there. They were making their way back off the train and back onto the platform when Athena ran into them, literally.

"Hey, Remus, Sirius, have either of you seenPotter around?" she asked, sounding rather annoyed and flusteredat the same time.

"No," Sirius said. "I don't think he's here yet."

"The bloody git. He's always late," she mumbled. "When you see him, though, tell him that I need to talk to him, like, now!" She ran off, leaving almost as suddenly as she appeared.

"Wow," Sirius muttered as she left, staring at her the whole time.


"She got hot over the summer," he said breathlessly.

"What are you talking about? She was always hot," Remus said.

"No, before she was just good looking. Now, well, now she's hot. Sexy, if you will," Sirius said, still staring.

Remus frowned. He had thought that Athena was gorgeous for the past year. He thought she was clever and witty and graceful and beautiful and caring and understanding, vivacious, spunky. He could go on for hours about her. He knew that Sirius knew nothing about his secret infatuation with her; James was the only one who did. James had picked up on it quite easily, as if he had a sixth sense to tell such things. Last year, he constantly bugged Remus to just get a grip on his nerves and ask her out.

"What's the worst that could happen?" he had asked over and over again. The answer to the question was obvious, to Remus at least. She could say no, and than where would he be? No, he much preferred to harbor his secret crush in, well, secret. But now if Sirius was after her...

Sirius was known around the school for being able to have which ever girl he wanted. He was good looking, and he could be very charming when he wanted to be. Girls thought he a prime example of "hunkiness" and that alone seemed to captivate most of them. If he wanted to go out with Athena, chances were, most likely, that he'd manage it. Remus was silently crushed; he stood no chance next to Sirius. He was skinny and awkward. He wasn't all that outgoing and he was incredibly shy. He was convinced that anyone given the choice between him and Sirius would choose Sirius without a second thought.

Remus sighed. I'll just worry about that when it comes to it, he thought to himself. Sirius does have a tendency to chase anything female with legs. He might not be serious about this.

"Come on," Sirius said, unaware of his friend's thoughts. "Let's go find James and Pete."

reviewer respones:
to everyone in general:
there were a lot of you guys this time, so unless you had a specific comment or concren, I'm thanking you all here. Thank you all so much for all the support you have given me while I've been writing this story, and I'm glad that you all enjoyed it. When I started posting back in October, I never expected that I would end up here, with people who enjoyed my story the whole way through. I don't think you understand, unless you write yourself, how great it feels to check your e-mail account and see that you have reviews. I mean, I have friends who read my work, but I expect them to. But you guys, nearly all of you are complete strangers, and it feels so awesome to know there are people who like your work when you didn't tell them to read it. Once again, thank you so much. I appreciate all of you.
leopardbabe: I don't know if there will be a sequel. My mind set right now, after finishing reading Half-Blood Prince, is no. If you have finished reading the book, then you might realize how hard it will be to tie in my story to where Jo is taking her stories. Mind you, this is not a deffinate no. If I have enough time to mull it over, I might be able to pull out a sequel...who knows?
forestofgreenjello: you know what? you have been one of my favorite reviewers. Ever since you first reviewd back at chapter 8, claiming you wanted to rip off Actaeon's head, I have looked forward to reading your reviews and hearing what you had to say about my story. You always had questions about this story and my next one; you put your reactions to what I wrote instead of a simple "good chapter. update soon". It was nice. Anyway, you asked if you could use James and Lily's letters as part of a chain letter. I don't mind at all. In fact, I would be honored if you did. (does it seem odd to you that I am honored to have my work considered for a chain letter? it seems kind of odd to Anyway, thanks for all the support you ahve given me, and I hope to hear from you again when I start officially posting this next story

final an: ok...tell me what you think, please. If you think its trash, then I won't bother posting it, and I'll come up with something else...but hopefully you all like it. Also, I am still in the process of picking a proper title for this next story...any suggestions will be more than helpful. Look for the offical posting of it sometime in mid-late August.