You know, when I have no work on my hands, writing this story is so much easier. Seriously, a week ago, if you'd have asked me when this chapter would be posted, I'd have screamed "NEVER!" But now, on my first relaxing day off, I managed to write this today. And I'm actually pretty pleased with it, which is a first for me.
Anyway, if anyone's forgotten how the last chapter ended (and I don't expect anyone to say "I haven't forgotten!") here it is:
My eyes slowly stirred open and I found myself in unfamiliar surroundings. I was in a bed of some sort however, and I felt my stomach being stroked softly while Harry spoke to it. He was crying bitterly, so I shut my eyes, feigning sleep, and listened.
"Just leave him alone," he wept, fingering my stomach. "Just go away, I fucking hate you. Just leave, please. I'm begging you, please just go. He's suffered enough. Please, just fucking go away and leave him the fuck alone."
As the tears ran down the cheeks of my silent face, they came cascading down Harry's as he cried loudly.
Gold meets silver. Ice is Fire. We were one.
Here's the new chapter! Hope you enjoy guys!
It's weird. When you're a kid you have this picture of how your life is going to be, and it never crosses your mind that it's not going to end up like that.
"Can I come with you?" Harry asked softly. I looked at him through the reflection in the mirror.
"No," I replied.
"No." I said it firmly this time. His face dropped slightly and I sighed. "Look, it's confidential and I'd rather know for myself first," I explained, turning around to face him. We were in the first floor bathroom and I was getting ready to go to the hospital.
"But I want to be there for you," he said earnestly.
"No," I snapped. "Harry, stop fucking asking me the answer is no and I mean it."
He gave a shrug and lowered his head. "Okay," he replied sadly.
I turned back to the mirror and continued fixing my tie, ignoring him. A small smile crept up on my face. Harry certainly possessed Slytherin qualities all right, thinking he could make me change my mind by acting like the hurt victim. "How do I look?" I asked, turning around to face him again.
I smirked. "Yeah I do, don't I?"
Harry grinned. "Prat." His face sobered up. "Good luck," he said softly.
A fluttering in the pit of my stomach reminded me that the butterflies that I felt before each visit were still there. I merely nodded in reply and left the bathroom bumping smack bang into Pansy Parkinson.
"Watch where you're going," I growled.
"Don't act all lordly with me," she hissed. "I'll get Crabbe and Goyle to beat you up so badly you'll wish you'd never been born. You're not king of Slytherin anymore and don't you forget it."
"Shut the fuck up," I snapped dismissively.
"Still wearing that ridiculous hat I see," she smirked.
"Still look as ugly as ever," I retaliated.
"You fucking bastard," she snarled and it was at that perfect moment Harry decided to leave the bathroom. I saw Pansy's eyes light up as she registered the situation.
"Been having fun together in there?" she laughed gleefully.
"No," Harry quickly responded.
"Yes," I replied calmly.
"What?" That response came from both of them simultaneously.
"You asked if we'd been having fun together and I said 'yes', which bit of my reply don't you understand Pansy?" I asked her.
Her mouth opened and shut like a goldfish. "You dirty pair of queers!" she said disbelievingly.
"Shut up Pansy you stupid bitch -" Harry started angrily, but he was cut off by me turning his head towards mine and planting a kiss on his lips. I pulled back and saw the stunned look in his eyes. It was nothing compared to the mini panic attack that Pansy's face was going through though.
"You… You…You two just… You!"
"Well you certainly haven't got anything coherent to say Pansy, so if you don't mind, I better be off. I have an important meeting to get to."
"You fucking queers!" she spluttered. "You can guarantee everyone will know about this!" She gave a final disbelieving shake of the head before running down the corridor.
"She'll tell everyone," Harry spoke up anxiously.
I shrugged. "Let her," I replied, watching her running form down the corridor before turning to face Harry. "Right, I've got to go, I'll be late otherwise."
"But Draco, what about -"
"Harry, I really have to go now, ask me later."
He and his words turned into a blurry form as I wrapped my fingers around an ordinary looking biro pen. At once, my surroundings meshed together and my feet were rushed from beneath me as I went on the roller coaster ride that the portkey took me through. My head spun and I felt dizzy and sick and just when I thought I couldn't take any more, I felt myself fall heavily onto the mattress that Harry had me hit a couple of weeks ago in the alley near to the hospital. I shook my head and waited until everything had stopped swimming before me before I got up and walked to the hospital.
"Have a seat."
The graveness in Dr. Warner's voice scared me and I almost choked on a ball of fear.
"Say it," I ordered.
Dr. Warner sat down in his chair and sighed heavily before meeting my eyes finally.
"Go on, say it." I got angrier now that he was trying to sugar-coat the situation. I didn't want pity, I didn't want sympathy and I didn't need him to beat around the bush. I just wanted him to fucking tell me I was going to die and leave it at that.
"Your records show that improvement hasn't been made on the tests and -"
"Look, will you just tell me that I'm going to fucking die?" I cried.
Dr. Warner flinched slightly and I softened out of guilt. "Please," I added softly. "Don't gloss the situation. Am I going to die?"
My heart skipped a beat.
"How soon?" I asked shakily. He didn't answer. "HOW SOON?" I shouted.
"There's drugs you can take to prolong the death -" I felt a steel fist to the stomach at the word 'death.' " -They put a tremendous strain on the body and are not one hundred percent effective," he continued.
"How effective are they?" I asked.
"Around seventy to eighty percent," he replied. I nodded. "They can give you anything from a week up to two years for the type of leukaemia that you're suffering from," he went on. "But as I've said, it's not guaranteed success."
"And what about the strain on the body…?" I trailed off.
"You'll feel weaker, much weaker than you do now," he admitted. "You'll get quite restless, but not have the energy to do anything about it at the same time. You might start to feel disorientated, though that risk is very small and -"
"Disorientated? What do you mean?" I asked.
"Memory loss," he said directly. "Though I must stress that the risk of that happening is a small one."
"But the others aren't, right?" I cried. "The weakness and having no energy and not being able to do anything."
He sighed. "Those factors are very common," he replied. "And you will have to spend lots of time in hospital for -"
"WHY?" I interjected angrily.
" -Routine checks," he continued patiently. "You will be required here to stay here for at least three to four nights a week."
I sighed in defeat and folded my arms. "So that's it?" I asked, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. "So that's how I'm going to live the last moments of my life, in and out of fucking hospital, getting weaker by the second? I'd rather not have the fucking drugs."
"You don't have to have them," Dr Warner reminded me.
I stared at him, a million thoughts bouncing off of each other in my head. "No. I don't," I said softly to myself. "How much time will I have left without taking them?"
He sighed sadly. "I can't say," he said, shaking his head.
"Weeks? Months?" I asked anxiously.
"Draco, I don't know so I can't say," he repeated.
"Well how do I know whether I should take this fucking drug treatment thing then?" I replied angrily.
I saw sadness as I looked at him. "It's a decision you have to make," he said, before his own eyes welled up.
I looked up at the sound of my name and saw Harry running towards me.
"How's everyone reacting towards Pansy's news?" I asked.
"What?" he asked confusedly, before realising what I meant. "Oh I don't know, haven't been paying much attention really, what about you, how did it go, what did they say?" he gabbled.
"They said…" I didn't know how to soften the blow. "They said I don't have very long."
Harry paled. "How long is not very long?"
"A couple of months maybe," I said, looking him directly in the eyes. "There's these drugs that I can take that allows me to live longer, maybe up to a year or something."
Harry nodded. "A year. Right. Okay." He paled even more.
"Are you alright?" I asked, helping him into a sitting position on the stone steps leading into one of the entrances. I thought he might be sick.
"You only have a year left?" he asked timidly, sounding and looking like he didn't want to hear the answer.
I shifted uncomfortably. "Actually, I don't know how long I have left."
He looked at me. "You just said you had about a year," he pointed out.
"If I took the drugs," I said softly.
He looked confused for a moment before he registered what I meant. "Oh." Tears sprung into his eyes. "Why didn't you…?"
I shook my head. "My reasons and my reasons only."
Harry nodded, wiping his tears away roughly.
"So," I said, raising my to a cheerful tone, "We better make the most of what I've got left! Lets plan a day out!"
I shrugged. "Why not?"
Harry gave a tear-stained grin. "Sure!"
"We'll invite everyone!" I continued, "Make it like a big party!"
Harry's grin turned into a wistful smile. "Oh… okay yeah, great!" His words sounded forced. He was taking this news hard, obviously.
"You invite everyone you find and I'll do the same."
"Okay," he agreed. I grinned.
"You know… if we don't have much time left, we should make the most of it."
"Definitely!" I replied in agreement.
"We shouldn't hold anything back," he continued.
"Nothing at all!"
And it was at that point that Harry stood up and kissed me on the lips, trying to part them open with his tongue. I held them shut for a split second before opening my mouth and exploring his with my tongue as he did the same. I softly stroked his tongue with my own, feeling electricity spark between us as his hands roamed across my back and let them wander down to my ass. His tongue grew more urgent as it lashed out against mine and what was happening between us suddenly clicked inside my head.
I stepped back and broke the kiss.
"We should start rallying people up," I said jollily. "Let's meet back here in an hour, yeah?" and made my way into the school before Harry could reply.
I wasn't having any luck. Hardly anybody in my house was speaking to me and those who were were just nosy and wanted to know if Pansy's rumours were true. I'd forgotten about that incident to be honest, but now with people either throwing me dirty looks or asking if I was sleeping with the boy who lived, I was forced to relive it.
And that kiss. That fucking kiss. I didn't realise what sort of effect it might have on him, I'd just done it to piss Pansy off. But he'd obviously taken it the wrong way and when he kissed me back there… shit, it was all a huge fucking mess.
I turned around and was greeted by Chris Peters. He was a couple of years younger than me, in the fifth year I think. We weren't on speaking terms so he wanted to speak to me about the rumours he'd heard, no doubt.
"What?" I asked coldly. He looked a bit taken aback by my tone.
"I just wanted to ask, well… is it true? You know, what everyone's saying?"
I marched off towards the direction of the meeting point. I didn't have to meet Harry for another five minutes or so but hopefully I could shake the little fucker following me around away.
"Piss off," I replied.
"I'm not being inquisitive or anything," Chris protested. "I just think you're really brave, kissing Potter like that in front of Pansy."
I stopped in my tracks to deliver him a dirty look before striding off to the meeting point again.
"Seriously, I think it's brilliant," he continued as we rounded a corner.
"Look," I said, coming to a halt outside the door where I was meeting Harry, "What is it you want?"
"I just want to say I admire you for kissing Potter in front of Pansy. Not many people would be brave enough to admit they're gay to anyone, and well, in the… position you're in right now regarding Slytherin, I think it's inspirational what you did."
"Thanks," I said curtly.
Chris wouldn't shift. "You know… I'm gay too…"
"If you ever want to… you know…"
This kid wouldn't give up. Still, I thought it'd be fun to play a little with him. "Yeah, I think I might like that," I replied with a smile. I smirked inwardly as I saw his face light up with excitement. "In fact… I want some action now. Get on your knees." His deer-caught-in-the-headlights look was a classic.
"W-w-what?" he stammered.
"Get on your knees," I replied calmly. "Get on your knees and get those whorish slutty lips of yours wrapped around my cock. Now."
He looked half scared and half excited at my tone and shakily got on his knees. I was about to push his head away and tell him to get lost when Harry decided to make an appearance. Along with a big group that consisted of roughly twenty people.
Chris looked behind and got to his knees quickly. "This isn't what it looks like," he stammered nervously and I shook my head in agreement. Everyone looked uncomfortable for a moment and I lowered my head to the floor, willing Chris to disappear. He scuttled off after a couple of seconds and I raised my gaze to the group. The first person I saw was the weasel, who looked mortified at what he'd just witnessed. Next to him stood Creevey who looked away in embarrassment when I met his eyes. And next to him stood Harry. My heart gave a lurch as I saw the pain in his eyes. What made it worse was that the pain in his eyes was covered by a mirage of a forced grin.
"He was just… we were just… kidding," I said lamely.
The weasel looked disgusted and turned to Harry.
"Okay, shall we get going?" he said brightly. I was certain that I was the only one who could hear the slight crack in his voice. The group followed Harry's lead out of the school ground. If I wasn't so angry at the mistiming of the event that had just took place, I would have been pleased that so many people had turned up. It was fucking ironic when I thought about it. I'd spent so many years being jealous of Harry only to discover that he's not so bad after all. And now I only had a little time left, I was spending it worrying over whether Harry was hurt or not.
I managed to get him on his own as we made our way towards Hogsmeade. "I didn't do anything with that Chris kid," I murmured. "He was just messing around and I -"
"Draco I don't care," Harry smiled, showing too many teeth to be genuine. "You can do what you want, obviously."
"Yeah but I thought that… well… what me and you did…"
"What?" Harry said quickly. There was a flicker of excitement in his eyes.
"Well, I thought you might have took it the wrong way."
"Oh." His excitement fizzled to nothingness. "I didn't think anything of it really," he said, faux nonchalantly.
I chewed on my lip as we continued to walk. "When I kissed you, it was to -"
" - To fool Pansy, yes, I know," he replied through gritted teeth. Shit, he was taking this harder than I thought and now I felt like a complete bastard but I had to make sure that he knew that nothing was going to come of this.
"And when you kissed me…?" I left the question trailing and looked on Harry. He was doing his hardest not to cry.
"I just wanted to see what it felt like," he replied finally. "No big deal really."
My heart sank. "Glad it's sorted then."
We trudged on in silence for a while. I kept noticing the weasel and mudblood peering over their shoulders at us as they walked ahead.
"What are they looking at?" I spat.
"Us," Harry said flatly. He was clearly in no mood to talk to me. Unfortunately, he was the only one I was on speaking terms with out of this entire group. Nobody who I invited out accepted the invitation and I was starting to feel like a loner. I rustled up some courage to try and talk to someone. I decided on Creevey. He was younger than everyone else and might be intimidated into talking to me. I sidled over to him.
He seemed surprised that I was talking to him. "Er… yeah."
I didn't know what else to say. "What are you doing?"
He looked at me like I was an idiot. "Going to Hogsmeade. With you."
I felt my face burn up with embarrassment and gave a little laugh. He didn't crack a smile. I felt more stupid by the second and was about to tell Harry that I didn't feel like going out anymore when I heard a groan from behind me. I turned around and saw it came from the Patil sisters.
"What's up?" I asked.
They looked at me suspiciously until one of them - I don't know which - said, "We're just nervous about the Muggle Studies exam."
"Yeah," the other one spoke up, "we don't know enough about medicines and illnesses."
"Yeah, I'm doing that exam too," I replied. "I only know the stuff about leukaemia."
"The hardest part," the twins groaned in unison.
"It's not that hard!"
"It is! We don't understand any of it. We keep revising and revising but it just won't stay in our minds."
"Well, I guess I could help you… if you want. What are you stuck on?"
"Everything!" one replied. "All I can remember is that it's the 14th most common type of cancer in adults."
I shook my head slowly. "Not the 14th, the 12th. An easy way to remember is that the letter L, for leukaemia, is the 12th letter in the alphabet."
They looked at me as if they didn't know whether I was telling the truth or not. "Hermione!" one of them yelled, "come here!"
The mudblood and the weasel stopped in their tracks and waited until we caught them up. I had a ball of nervousness in my stomach and I didn't know why. Maybe it was because I was coming face to face with them on somewhat friendly terms for the first time and didn't know how to react. I could see the weasel scowling at my presence from a mile off and it became more evident as we got closer and closer to them.
"What is the 12th most common type of cancer in adults?" one of them quizzed the mudblood as soon as we reached them.
"Leukaemia," she replied. "Why?" she added, giving me a sideways glance.
The twins looked impressed and grinned at me.
"What else do you want to know?" I offered.
"Is it the red or white blood cells that are affected?" one of them asked.
"White," me and the mudblood said in unison. We turned to each other and she gave me an odd look.
"When did you become the expert on muggle studies?" the weasel spoke up. "I thought your kind just liked killing them."
I looked at him, a dozen retorts going through my mind but as I opened my mouth to spit one at him, I decided to take the high road and leave it. I shrugged and looked back at the twins. "If you ever need help, you can come to me… if you want… you don't have to but if you do… I don't mind."
"Okay great!" they said in unison showing a matching pair of pearly white teeth.
I smiled shyly and started walking ahead.
I turned around and saw the mudblood catching up with me. "That was a nice offer," she said softly.
I shrugged in embarrassment. "It was just… I don't know, I guess it was, maybe."
"And it's unlike you not to rise to any of Ron's jibes."
I was about to scowl before I saw her shining smile. "I thought that was very big of you," she finished.
"Thanks… Granger." I couldn't bring myself to call her by her first name.
"Anytime… Malfoy," she retorted with a grin. I grinned back, pleased with how things were going. If only I'd known this through school, I would have acted so differently. I started to feel sad at the life I missed out on; how things could have been if I'd acted nicer towards people, before I got those thoughts out of my head sensibly. There was no use dwelling on the past when I couldn't change it. I might as well make the most of it.
"Sorry!" I wasn't looking where I was going as I was consumed by my thoughts and trod on the back of someone's shoe. They turned around and revealed themselves to be Harry.
"It's okay," he said dully. I noticed he wasn't walking with anyone.
"Harry… I really am sorry you know," I said softly.
"You trod on my shoe Draco, get over it," he replied.
"Not that. I mean I'm sorry about…"
"Not liking me?"
"I do like you," I protested.
"But just not in the way I want you to," Harry cut me off.
I sighed. "Yes." Harry looked straight ahead determinedly. "It really hurts to say that, Harry."
"Try hearing it."
"Look, you're being unfair. I can't help who I fall in love with!"
"And neither can I!" Harry cried in response. We both stopped for a moment, staring into each other's heated eyes before we both realised that the whole group had stopped walking and were watching the scene between us unfold with goggled-eyes.
We continued to walk. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
He sighed and shook his head slowly. "Don't be. You're right, I am being unfair."
"I didn't mean -"
"No, I am," he cut me off. "You can't help who you fall in love with just as much as I can't help who I fall in love with."
I didn't know how to respond to this so the conversation wavered until we'd almost reach Hogsmeade.
"Here's to a fucking brilliant day out, deal?" Harry asked, his hand outstretched.
I grinned. "A fucking brilliant day out," I confirmed and shook his hand.
And that's the ending! Argh, sorry I haven't added a chapter for so long! I've been so fucking busy! Well now that's all changed because I'm finished from uni and I can update frequently (even though there's only one chapter left in this story…) Anyway, can I say a special thanks to:
OMG OKAY, THIS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO ESPECIALLY REPLIED TO MYLAST UPDATE!BASICALLY, I WAS SO DRUNK WHEN I UPDATED THIS AND CAN'T SEE PEOPLE'S NAMES BECAUSE THE INTERNET FROG THING ANNOYING THING WON'T GO AWAY, UGH! BUT THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS STUCK PATIENTLY BY THE STORY! I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH SO FUCKING MUCH!
And sorry I couldn't respond personally but I'm just too overwhelmed at the minute (God, I feel like such a fucking diva…!)