Be Careful What You Wish For
A/N: I suddenly had this idea and simply had to write about it or I'd never get any sleep again. XD I don't really read too many humor-type fanfics, so if someone has already written a YGO story like this, please tell me, so I can stop writing on this one. I don't want to steal anyone's idea. Italicized conversations happen mentally between Yami Yuugi/Yuugi and Bakura/Ryou. (I'm going to refer to Yami Bakura as Bakura and Bakura Ryou as Ryou for this story.)
"It was really nice of Kaiba to invite us to his mansion, wasn't it?" Yuugi commented to his yami, fingering the chain around his sennen puzzle.
"Yes, it was. I wish I could remember my past life, but this party will be a nice break from trying to solve the puzzle of my past," came the mental reply.
"Do you think everybody will come?" Anzu asked as she walked up the steps to Kaiba's house, the bright moonlight giving them sight. Honda shrugged.
"Well, I'm only coming for the food, not that jerk-off, Kaiba!" Jounouchi announced grudgingly. Everybody raised an eyebrow.
"He doesn't seem that bad to me," Shizuka commented quietly. Jounouchi turned a penetrating gaze on her.
"That's not funny, sis," he replied. Her mouth twisted into a frown.
"I can't wait to duel Kaiba again!" Yami Yuugi exclaimed, taking over his host's body in anticipation. He rubbed his hands together with an excited gleam in his eyes. Yuugi smiled from inside his soul room and shook his head.
After escorting the teenagers into a large sitting room, the butler left them silently. Otogi whistled under his breath.
"Look at this place," he said. Anzu rolled her eyes.
"Close your mouth before you swallow a fly," she said.
Only moments after he had left, the butler returned with two new guests in tow.
"Where's the food?" Ryou asked upon entering the sitting room.
"Hey, Ryou!" Yuugi exclaimed, taking over again.
"And Malik..." Jounouchi finished with the room falling into uncomfortable silence. Yuugi looked around before smiling.
"Where's Isis and Rishid?" he asked, breaking the tension.
"The museum," Malik answered curtly.
"Oh, joy, I see you all came," Seto observed sarcastically as he entered the sitting room. He crossed his arms over his chest. Mokuba stepped out from behind him.
"You invited us; don't sound so disappointed!" Anzu snapped.
"Mokuba invited you, woman, not me," Seto countered. Jounouchi's eyes narrowed.
"Don't get an attitude, Mr. Hotshot!"
Seto turned an icy blue gaze on the blond, and everybody gulped. "I'll get whatever kind of attitude I want. Mokuba invited all of you although I can only imagine why. So, it wouldn't bother me in the least if you left."
"Jerk," Anzu muttered.
"Quiet, little girl," Seto replied, waving her off like a servant. Anzu gasped angrily.
"I wish you would stop being mean to her!" Jounouchi yelled, balling his hands into fists.
"Well, I wish you would shut up and beg at my feet like the little mutt you are," Seto replied coolly.
"Woah, guys, cool it. Anzu can take it anyway," Malik said stepping between the two fueding boys. Anzu rolled her eyes.
"Oh, Anzu can take it. I'm the new Pharaoh! I rule the world! I decide who can take what! If you don't agree, I'll just mind-control you! Mwahahaha!" she mocked in an imitation of Malik's voice. "Let me decide for myself if I can take it!" She crossed her arms angrily. Her anger was truly directed at Seto, but Malik took the brunt of it.
"Don't put words into my mouth, weakling girl!" Malik yelled angrily.
"I'm not a weakling! I wish you could get a taste of being a weakling girl though since you think you can call others that!" Anzu retorted hotly.
Otogi, Honda, Shizuka, Yuugi, Mokuba, and Ryou silently watched Seto and Jounouchi arguing who were quickly joined by Anzu and Malik.
"I wish they would stop fighting," Yuugi whispered, shifting uncomfortably. Mokuba nodded, looking fretfully at his big brother.
"Fight, fight!" came an excited shout. Everyone turned to look at Yami Bakura who had taken over Ryou's body.
"Ack! That psycho guy!" Otogi exclaimed, moving to the side slowly. Bakura paid him no mind. Instead, he had turned to survey the sitting room they were all standing in. He was stuffing various golden ornaments in his pockets. He had picked up a golden dessert mint bowl and placed it on his head as he walked around the room.
"Quit stealing my stuff!" Seto yelled, abandoning Jounouchi to stomp over to Bakura. He snatched the bowl off of Bakura's head and tossed it behind him haphazardly.
"Ow!" Yuugi cried as it struck him in the nose. Yami Yuugi instantly took over.
"Look, here, Kaiba. Don't ever throw something at my aibou!"
Seto glared at Yami Yuugi. "It was an accident, but even if it wasn't, I can do whatever I please. This is my house!"
"Agh! Stop it, landlord!" Bakura yelled, clutching his head. Ryou hadn't fought him in a long time, but he had apparently made his host angry by stealing the High Priest's belongings.
"Stop involving me in your insane schemes!" Ryou cried from his soul room, worried that he would lose his friends just as he had lost each one in the past.
"I wish you would stop interfering and let me do what I want!" Bakura replied mentally.
"It's my body! I wish you would just get out!"
"Alright, children, that's quite enough wishes for one night."
Everyone stopped bickering at the sound of the strong, yet feminine voice overhead.
"Who is that?" Seto asked of no one in particular. "Who's in my house?!"
"Oh, silly love, I'm not inyour house," the voice replied innocently.
"What's going on?" Shizuka whispered. Everyone stared at the ceiling though the owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen.
"I just couldn't help hearing your childish fighting and thought I could help," the voice offered, sounding suspiciously mischievous.
"Who are you?" Yami Yuugi asked.
"I'm Eris," she replied simply.
"Who is Eris?" Jounouchi whispered, his eyes darting around the room.
"There's a Greek goddess named Eris, the goddess of chaos and discord," Anzu replied, feeling a bit uneasy.
"There's no such people as gods and goddesses," Seto snapped, growing more and more frustrated.
"May Ra strike you down!" Malik exclaimed affronted.
"Let the mighty smiter smite me then!" Seto replied cynically.
"Ra has nothing to do with this," Eris interrupted. "He's vacationing in Morocco or somewhere. Normally, we Greeks would have nothing to do with your lot, but the Egyptian chaos god seems to have a memory problem," she finished in irritation. Everyone turned to look at Seto.
"I am not Seth," he said firmly, glaring at everyone present.
"Of course not, dear," the mysterious lady said with amusement lacing her voice. "But as I was saying, let sweet ol' Eris help you out."
"I don't think I like the idea of a goddess of chaos helping us," Jounouchi said.
"When you wake up, all will be as you wanted," Eris told them with a laugh, leaving every teenager in the room to fall over unconscious.
Honda and Otogi groaned as they both stirred simultaneously. Honda sat up shakily.
"I had the weirdest dream and I feel like hell," he mumbled, rubbing his head.
"I'm sueing whoever ran over me with a bus," Otogi replied just as painfully. He glanced over at a clock on the wall to see that it was now morning.
Beside them, a few more of the teens were stirring, each feeling equally as worn out. Ryou rubbed his eyes and looked beside him to see Bakura.
"I don't feel like talking to you," he told the spirit. "Go back to your soul room."
Bakura opened his eyes and looked up at him in shock. "I-I can't."
"Oh, my gosh. I can see both of you... at the same time!" Anzu exclaimed.
"What?" Ryou said, alarmed. He reached out to touch Bakura and was astounded to find that he could wrap his hand firmly around Bakura's wrist. The Egyptian spirit gasped and felt his body hurriedly.
"I have a body! My own body!"
"Thief!" Yami Yuugi yelled, jumping to his feet and pointing an accusing finger at Bakura. He turned around.
"What of it, Pharaoh?" he asked snidely.
"You don't deny it! You shall be mummified alive!" Yami Yuugi told him before launching himself at the unsuspecting Bakura.
"What the?! Get off of me!" Bakura forced out, wrestling the spirit above him.
"Get off, stupid spirit!" Ryou yelled, trying to pry Yami Yuugi off of Bakura. Everyone's eyes widened at the insult directed at Yami Yuugi from sweet Ryou.
"I can take care of myself, shrimp," Bakura retorted, glaring at Ryou. Ryou hmph'd and backed away.
"I... he won't let me out!" Yuugi said from his soul room, frighteningly astounded at the realization.
"Ahh! A voice in my head! There's someone in my head!" Yami Yuugi said, grabbing his head and looking around the room. Bakura jumped to his feet and wasted no time in running out of the sitting room and completely out of Seto's house.
"Come back!" Ryou called after him, but to no avail.
"Get out of my head, demon! Oh, Ra!" Yami Yuugi cried before he, too, ran out of the house.
"Oh, my... what is going on?!" Anzu whimpered, shaking Shizuka and Mokuba awake next to her. Helpless to know what was happening, everyone remained silent, looking at each other for answers.
Within a minute, everyone slowly turned towards the sound of persistent slurping. Jounouchi was down on his hands and knees next to Seto and was licking him repeatedly in the face.
"Oh, wow," Otogi said with a grin tugging at his lips. Seto stirred next to Jounouchi and sat up, rubbing his head. To everyone's astonishment, Jounouchi barked happily and pounced on Seto's chest, proceeding to lick him again.
"Ugh! Mutt, get off of me!" Seto yelled, shoving Jounouchi away. "I've never felt so dirty in my entire life!" He spat to the side of him and wiped his face hastily. Seto's cold, blue eyes quickly darted to the side of the room where everyone, except Malik who was still unconscious, was standing, staring at Jounouchi wide-eyed. Seto's cold stare melted instantly.
"Oh, the love of my life! Your angelic beauty is beyond compare! The vibrant spring roses envy your lovely face!" he exclaimed while rushing over and dropping on one knee in front of Anzu. He gripped her hand and pleaded with her to marry him.
Honda, Otogi, and Ryou burst into laughter although Ryou's laughter sounded suspiciously malicious.
"Seto!" Mokuba cried in shock, covering his mouth with a hand while trying to make Jounouchi stop humping his brother's leg with the other hand.
"Kaiba! What is with you?" Anzu asked in an annoyed manner, yanking her hand out of his grasp.
"Please, make me the happiest man alive!" Seto begged, shaking his leg violently, trying to rid himself of Jounouchi.
"No, I won't marry you! Jounouchi, stop!" Anzu ordered, backing away from Seto and his persistent blond 'pet.'
Ryou sauntered over to Malik and kicked him in the side. The Egyptian groaned and turned over onto his back, squinching his eyes together in discomfort. Ryou stared down at him in surprise.
"This is rich," he murmured with a sinister gleam in his eyes. He reached down and yanked Malik to his feet.
"Malik..." Honda choked out, interrupting Seto, Anzu, and Jounouchi. He pointed at the pair across the room.
"Why are you all looking at me like that?" Malik asked, leaning back a bit and eying everyone curiously. He felt his throat. "What's wrong with my voice?"
"You're a... a..." Mokuba trailed off, wide-eyed.
"I'm a what, brat?" Malik snapped, clearing his throat. "Who changed my clothes? This shirt is tight," he said as he pulled his normal purple top over his head and threw it to the side. He glanced over at it, and his confusion was obvious.
"That was my shirt..." he trailed off in growing confusion. He noticed Otogi and Honda were staring at him with their mouths agape, and Ryou was grinning like a maniac next to him. He put his hands on his hips.
"What is going on here?!" he demanded. "And why is my voice so high?!" He stamped his foot and turned towards Ryou. The ivory-haired teenager caught his gaze and slowly trailed it down to Malik's chest. The Egyptian followed Ryou's gaze and screamed as his violet eyes met two very generously-sized breasts. He pulled his loose jeans away from his waist and frantically looked down. He screamed again and promptly fainted.
"Oh, my gosh. Malik is a girl!" Mokuba exclaimed in shock.
"I think I'm going to faint, too," Shizuka said, steadying herself against Honda. Suddenly, Jounouchi barked again and jumped into Seto's arms.
Otogi stared around the room speechlessly. Female Malik was shirtless and unconscious on the floor. Bakura, in a body of his own, and an insane Yami Yuugi had hauled it out of the house with poor Yuugi trapped inside his own body. Honda was supporting Shizuka next to him, the two of them seemingly normal; Otogi knew he felt normal, too. Ryou was grinning evilly in a corner of the room, looking very much like Bakura. Seto was showering Anzu's hand with kisses with Mokuba trying to get Jounouchi off of his brother's leg.
"Is this a dream?" Otogi wondered aloud.
"No, I think it's a nightmare," Honda said.
So... should I continue on this? Be honest now! XD I'm currently writing another fic, so this one would probably only be updated once a month or so if I do continue it. Please review and tell me what you think.