Be Careful What You Wish For
A/N: I had some major writer's block on this! Wah. ;;
"Ugh, I'm tired! We've been searching for hours!" Malik complained. Otogi looked equally tired next to him.
"He has to be around here somewhere," Ryou said, looking down each alleyway they passed. It had to be close to midnight, but Ryou wanted to find his yami.
"I swear to Ra, someone is going to pay for all of this," Malik threatened. He glared up at the sky and screamed, "Eris, you bitch! I hope you choke on some peanuts!"
"I've got a few peanuts you can choke on, sweetheart," came a sleezy voice. Malik stopped dead in his tracks and whirled around.
"Excuse me?" he hissed, his eyes narrowed dangerously. The fat, drunken man licked his lips in what he assumed to be an enticing manner. Malik clenched his hands into fists.
"What I would do for the rod right now," he said lowly.
"I've got one of those too, baby," the man catcalled. A vein pulsated in Malik's forehead.
Without a word, Ryou took the sennen ring off of his neck. "I can turn him into an inanimate object for you if you want."
"Hey!" Malik cried angrily. "You're supposed to give that to the Pharaoh!"
"It's mine, and I'm keeping it," Ryou responded defensively. Otogi's eyes were wide with apprehension.
"What are you doing, Ryou? You're not going to use that magic necklace thing, are you?" he asked fearfully. Malik and Ryou ignored him.
"Well, fine, if you're going to keep it, you might as well make a use for it," Malik remarked. The drunken man was staring at the three teenagers strangely.
"I think you could use some clothes that fit better," Ryou suggested, looking pointedly at Malik's pants which were threatening to fall down now that his waist was much curvier. Without warning, the ring glowed and before he knew what was going on, the lecher had taken the form of a lady's black slack pants. Malik picked them up off the ground and eyed them speculatively.
"Well... I guess they'll have to do," he said, walking behind a dumpster to change.
Otogi's mouth was agape in astonishment. "Ryou, how could you?! I'm telling the others the second we get back!"
The ivory-haired boy merely shrugged in response. "Go ahead."
Otogi found himself standing alone in the middle of the street as Malik and Ryou strode away confidently. "I can't believe those two!" he cried incredulously. About-facing, he stomped back in the direction of Kaiba's mansion.
Malik glanced at Ryou out of the corner of his eye. "Who are you, and what did you do with the other Ryou?"
Ryou chuckled darkly. "Let's find my yami. We could all have some fun."
"Gah, I can't believe we haven't been able to find Yuugi yet. I wonder where he is?" Honda mused.
"I hope he's okay. What if someone did something to him? He didn't seem exactly stable..." Anzu trailed off. Seto grasped her hand tightly.
"Do not fear, ma cherie. If evil lurks about, I will protect you!" he declared. Mokuba sighed next to him, and Anzu snatched her hand away with a glare.
The group of six continued down the streets, knowing that it was quite late. They needed to return to Kaiba's mansion at some point in time; afterall, they had school the next day. Shizuka stopped when she heard howling coming from behind. Looking around, she asked, "What's that?"
Honda glanced at her and shrugged. "It sounds like a... dog..." Anzu slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter. Jounouchi was sitting back on his haunches, howling at the moon. Honda walked over to his friend and patted him on the head.
"It's okay, Fido. Come on, boy!" he beckoned with a whistle. Anzu glared at him.
"That's not nice!"
Honda only laughed and shrugged innocently.
"Come on, let's keep looking," Mokuba suggested.
As they travelled down the streets, most of the stores and shops were already closed for the night. However, they passed a department store which was still open. They stopped to see what was going on when they noticed a few police cars parked outside of its door. The policemen were questioning a few employees of the store.
Looking uneasily at each other, everyone guessed, "Bakura."
They wandered up as closely as possible to hear the conversations between the police and the employees.
"Yeah, and porcupine boy had a bathrobe around his shoulders and a ton of knives in his belt! Didn't even pay for them!" one of the girls cried. One of the policemen reported into his intercom that the suspect was 'armed and dangerous.'
"Porcupine boy?" the other policeman questioned skeptically. "Can you descibe his appearance better?"
She nodded eagerly. "Oh yes, officer. He had black hair sticking out in every direction and blond streaks in his hair, like some punk rocker druggie kid."
Anzu and everyone gulped nervously. She turned to face her friends, shoving Seto away in the process. "We really need to find Yuugi. He's going to get arrested if a policeman sees him!"
"Dang, I can't believe Yuugi's a wanted criminal now!" Honda exclaimed in shock. Everyone nodded somberly before setting off to continue looking for the ancient Pharaoh.
Bakura nodded in approval as he flipped through a magazine listing buildings for sale. If he were to properly and thoroughly take over the world, he would need a satisfactory headquarters. It had to be in a quiet area of town. It could not be easily noticeable--a problem he was having a hard time overcoming with the listed buildings--since he may need to flee those 'policemen' every now and then.
Thumbing a page, he read the description of one of the buildings a third time. It had been tossed from owner to owner with it quickly being put up for sale each time; it was hard to keep a business open because it was in a sparse part of town and resembled a warehouse instead of a business locale. It sounded ideal.
"Need anything else, hun?" an elderly waitress asked as she approached Bakura's table. He glared at her.
"Woman, you interrupt my search for my world domination headquarters continuously! Begone!" he replied harshly with a flick of his hand. "Oh, and bring me more of that delicious hot cocoa."
"Sure, hun," the woman responded with a cheeky, clueless smile.
"Old bat," he muttered after she had gone. "I'd slice out my organs and litter them across the desert before I become..." Shudder. "old."
He had found the perfect location for his headquarters, but how would he get it? He wasn't an expert at present-day money, but he knew the figure with many zeros was a lot more than he had. He scowled. He couldn't even turn random objects into money since Ryou had his ring. For the first time in three thousand years, he wished he had his prison of a ring.
Sipping his hot cocoa, he racked his brain for an answer to his dilemma. Who was rich enough to rob to receive this sizeable amount?
"Are there not any soothsayers in this village? One would certainly think there would be, what with all the metal demons running loose!" Yuugi ranted as he pulled his makeshift cape closer to his shoulders to block out the cold. The sun was quickly slipping down to hide in the horizon until the next morning, and the chilled breeze prickled the Pharaoh's skin.
The sound of music and chanting caught the Pharaoh's ears. He spun around in a circle, listening for the origin.
"And a one, two, three! And a left, up, down!" the woman chanted repeatedly.
Please... what's wrong with you? Yuugi pleaded inside his soul room. The Pharaoh let out a yelp of horror.
"Exorcist! Exorcist!" Yuugi shouted, running into the building with the words THE EXERCISE HOUSE on its sign. He skidded to a halt as he spied about a dozen women doing a strange exorcism dance, still chanting their counting. He was apalled by the choice of clothing soothsayers of this village wore; had they no modesty? Their breasts and bottoms bounced with their jumping, and he looked away with a blush.
"I need to exorcise a demon!" he called out, pulling his cape over the knives in his belts. One of the women, presumably the head soothsayer, came up to him enthusiastically.
"That's right, sweetie! Fat is a demon, and you just need to exercise, exercise, exercise!" the perky blonde exclaimed, tugging him over to where the other ladies were still doing their strange exorcism dance. He stared at her dumbfoundedly.
"What? Fat? Is that its name?" he inquired skeptically.
"Honey, we're going to work past your denial and get you into shape!" she replied. She regarded him for a moment. "Though I really don't think you're out of shape to begin with."
Yuugi stared aghast. "What?" he hissed. "I am most certainly in the godliest of shape. What in Ra's name are you even talking about? I need an exorcist to rid me of the demon in my head!"
The lady tilted her head. "Sweetie, this is an aerobics gym for exercising, not exorcising!"
Yuugi jumped back as if he had been bitten. His eyes were round with apprehension. Without a word, he whirled around and ran out of the building. The aerobics instructor stared after him. "Strange boy." With a shrug and a giggle, she turned around to begin her exercise counting once more.
The Pharaoh pulled at his hair as he stood in an alleyway. It was getting colder and colder as the night wore on. He was housing a persistant demon, and he had no idea where his palace was. How did I even get here, he wondered. In his soul room, Yuugi decided not to answer him for fear of upsetting the Pharaoh even more.
"I shall need to find somewhere to rest for the night," Yuugi mused to himself. "Tomorrow begins my new hunt for another exorcist!" With renewed hope, he set off in search of somewhere to sleep.
I cannot say when the next chapter of this will be posted. I'm on a role with my other fic Target: You, so that is my top priority. But I will try to post a chapter on this as soon as possible. Please review in the meantime!