Welcome To My Life

(A/n: I don't own raven, BB, or any of the titans… They belong to DC comics and their other creators…)

"Raven! Come on, were all going out for Pizza? Wanna Come?"

I look angrily at the door. I just wanted him to go away, so badly! He's been bugging me now for the past few days to go places with the others, to actually have fun with the others and actually enjoy myself for once. That's not too much to ask any other person in the world, but it is for me.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

They will never understand anything about me… they can't! How do they expect me, Raven, mistress of all things dark actually have fun for once. "No thanks."

"Aww, come on Raven! It will be fun, plus, it would be nice to get out of that old stuffy room, wouldn't it?"

This old stuffy room is actually keeping me sane right now. I swear I wanted to kill him right them and there.

"No, thanks!"

"C'mon Raven! Can't you do this one little thing for the team? Can't you for once in your life, RELAX! Why do you always do this, Raven? Why can't you ever be normal!?

I turned up the music that I was listening too. I wanted to yell and scream and cry, but I couldn't. I show no emotion, I feel no emotion. I would rather die then cry.


Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
but no one hears you screaming

"Go Away…" I open up my own little world called a book and start reading some more. I can't hear BeastBoy anymore. Maybe he finally gave up, or the music is too loud that I can't even hear him.

"I wish I could understand what you're going through, Raven! I wish I could help you, but you won't let me help you! You won't let anyone help you. Why are you so stubborn!?"

Stubborn? Who's being stubborn? If anyone was stubborn, it was him. He will never understand me, he will never get it through his tiny little brain what it was like to be me.


No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

I sat there staring at the door. Silence. Finally! I can actually get back to my book! I wish I had something more comforting then a stupid book.

BANGBANG

Next thing I knew my door was blown off its hinges and BeastBoy was standing there, glaring at me. I glared right back, and tried to get my door back on. "Can't you take a stupid hint!? I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE!!!!!"

"Raven, I've had enough of your pity act! I wish I could know everything about you, but you won't let me!"

"Duh! You think I open up to just anyone!?"

"You opened up to Starfire, didn't you?"

I rolled my eyes and looked back down at my book. "That was different."

Next thing I knew my book was torn out from my hands and flung across the room. I stared at my hands and looked over to the floor where my book lay, with the pages torn and bent.


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

"Why did you do that?" I put my hands into fists and shot him a look that would probably make him turn tail it out of my room. He didn't budge.

"To try and get through to you! I hate you sometimes, Raven! I wish, I wish you were different…. I wish you weren't you."


To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

"You hate me, huh? Well, maybe you should make a fan club or something. I'll even join if you want me too." I raised my hand as a huge black power gathered in my hands. I shot energy at him, enough to knock him out of my room, but he had to make it harder. He yelled and transformed himself into a Tyrannosaurus Rex and held his ground. He broke through and caused me to fly back on my bed, headfirst into some pillows.

"Raven, are you okay?"

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over

"I just wish I could be like everyone else, but I can't! I just… can't."

I felt his hand on my shoulder as I sunk deeper into my pillows. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

"What's stopping you from being like everyone else? To actually relax and have a little fun with life?"

"Because my stupid emotions are…"

"…Dangerous… I know they are, Rae. So what? You can still have fun your way, but just with everyone else right by your side.

Oh yes, the best fun is reading with a bunch of buffoons in the room yelling at each other.

"I just want to go away… I don't want to be here, BeastBoy."


Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
Well deep inside you're bleeding

"No you don't, Raven. I know you want to be here, I know you want to have some fun, and I want to have fun right a long with you."

"No, you don't. Stop lying to me."

"I'm not lying, Raven! That's another thing. You have to learn to trust the world a little bit more, to trust us more, to trust yourself."


No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

I did the thing I hated to do the worst. I started to cry, and right in front of him! This would make matters worse… I wish I were never born… I wish I could just die right in front if him. I bet that would make him guilty for at least a few years.

But Then, I felt something nudge against my stomach. I looked down to see BeastBoy in his kitted form, rubbing against my stomach. No one can resist the kitten face.

"BeastBoy… please, don't do this…"


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

He morphed back to his real form, and crept up closer to me. "Do what, Raven?"

I looked down and tried to wipe the tears that started to form in my eyes. "You're making me feel guilty…"

"Hey, at least I made you feel something…"


To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

I looked back at my tear-stained pillow, and clenched at it tightly. "I tried opening up to someone before, remember? That got me in a deep world of hurt. You think I wouldn't trust anyone else after that? Did you?"

"You keep forgetting that you're not the only one who's been betrayed before, Raven. I have too, but I've moved on, and I think you should too."


No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

"Terra was different. She actually cared about you. She died to help protect you. She loved you."

I sat up and turned my back to him, and dragged a pillow with me. I clenched it tight as the memories came back to me. A horrible dragon from one of my books betrayed me to thinking he was a young wizard trapped in a book I was reading. He conned me into releasing him into the real world, to wreak havoc on the city. After that happened, I really didn't want to open up to anyone else except myself.

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

I then felt arms wrap around me. They dragged me back into something hard, yet warm. The arms squeezed harder around me, as I looked up to see BeastBoy holding me. I knew it was wrong, but I didn't want him to let go. His embraced actually felt good. I held on to his arms as he began to rock me back and fourth, as I let my tears stream down. I then broke down, right then and there. The tears came so fast and hard, that I even started to sob. Real nice, Raven. Real nice.

"Raven, I don't want you to be alone anymore. I don't want you to live your whole life in darkness. If you want me too, I can help save you… help bring you back." I started to calm down a bit, but not much. Maybe I can give life a second chance.


To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

I released his grip from around me, and looked him in the eye. I sniffed a little bit as I adverted my gaze down to the bed. "I'm sorry, for everything I've done. If it isn't too late, I would like to go out for some pizza now…" BeastBoy smiled as he took my hand and lead me out of the room. I stopped and looked at my book that was lying all crimpled on the floor. BeastBoy went over and tired the best he could to fix it.

"Did you want to bring this along?" He handed me the book as I held it in my hands. I looked at it, and looked back at him. "Nah…" I threw the book over my shoulder as we walked out, hand in hand, forgetting to put the door back on its hinges.


Welcome to my life

well, that's that I guess. I was listening to this song, and thought it would make an awesome songfic! . I apologize for any word or grammar mistakes that I made, or that my checker didn't catch. Any who, I thought a nice little Ra/BB Fic would be a nice break from the Resurrection vibe… and from the made reviewers who want me to revive Robin… sigh… anyway, please review and tell me what you thought… thanks .