Harry Potter and the Something Something Something!
AHH, so many reviews!
77! That's practically a lucky number!
….And this is the last chapter! The unlucky number, heh heh heh. But there WILL be a sequel!
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY! You all get presents today! Mwahahaha, virtual presents.
Avalon Estel: I have TWO sisters and ONE brother :) And I'm the youngest, blegh. DON'T SEND THE EMUS ON ME:gives caramel Hershey's kisses for you and your collection of siblings:
Henrietta-Black: I'm writing, I'm writing! SEE ME? TYPING? THESE WORDS? LYK, OMG! Er, cough. Thanks for your enthusiasm :) :gives chocolate-covered pretzels:
Watergal01: HEY, you can't bet! I TOLD you who it was anyway…and…why am I replying to your chap 11 review? Knives are cool. Count Olaf had a knife in the second A Series of Unfortunate Events book! And it was creepy. :nodnod: They already fried Snapey, I'm done with frying…XP :gives Sirius plushie, white chocolate chips, and Eckersley voodoo doll: Fate can play with that last one :)
Remember Cedric Diggory: DON'T THROW YOURSELF OFF THE CLIFFY! IT MIGHT HARM THE POOR THING! Oh…yeah, and for your safety too. :) :gives ice cream: DON'T CHOKE, EITHER!
A Cute But Pyscho: Actually, I got it from Janina and Cassandra, like this:
I thought I said I got it from those two names earlier though? Oh pah. Whatever! Darn it, and just when I was thinking I was a genius! Oh well, I'll blame it on Kristy. :3 It's the DARK LORD'S INFLUENCE, its ruining her precious grammar. :) YESH! A CLIFFY! CLIFFIES RAWK:gives cheese puffs: Yum, cheese. :)
IrishEyesAreSmiling: Good, but don't choke! NO CHOKING ALLOWED! Thanks for your review :) :gives cookies:
Naoko Tasaki: Ooh, CHAD! I'll send Kristy on him later…IF she survives…:) Ooh, what do I get a cookie for? Updating? COOL! I don't have a favorite girl scout cookie o.O I don't even know what kinds they have, when we got them my dad picked. :gives Dutch waffle cookie things with syrup inside:
Faint Hate: WOW, you sound totally hyper. Lyk, oh my god. I LOVE the curse conversation! It esh my pride and joy!...Kinda. JELLO OUT OF YOUR NOSE? Darn, are lots of my reviewers going to die eventually? That would stink. Majorly. I lurve the name Cassandra! (And the name Janina, that's why I combined them. But Jassinandra I don't like. XD) You officially rawk just 'cause of your name. And the jello out of the nose stuff. And the hyperness! Ness-ish. I LIKE IT! Okay, I think I'm actually a little scared of you, but that's okay:) :gives chocolate:
So many reviews! That took up over a page…anyway, on with the chapter. I hope you're all satisfied with the last chapter!
Chapter Thirteen: Ron Saves The Day
"NOOOOOOOO!" cried Ron, randomly jumping in as Kristy was about to plunge the knife into Harry's heart, "I SHALL SAVE YOOOOUUU!"
"Ron!" Harry gasped in surprise. Ron plunged his own sword through Kristy's back and through her heart. Strangely, it was glowing pink.
"New edition of Sting," Ron said proudly, "Glows pink when Mary-Sues are around! Kinda girly though," he said, sounding a bit dissappointed.
Kristy made a sound like an angry bird and dropped to the ground, defeated, as Ron pulled the sword out.
"Thanks, Ron," Harry said gratefully.
"No problem," Ron answered, "NOW HOW THE BLOODY HELL DO WE GET OUT OF HERE!"
"How'd you get in?"
"I dunno," Ron shrugged.
"Hi, Harry!" Hermione said gleefully.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Harry demanded.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WOMAN?"
"I'm SAVING YOUR BLOODY LIVES!" Hermione shrieked, then gasped. "Oh no," she gasped, "I said 'bloody'! That can't be good, can it?"
"No," the author said, "It cannot."
"WELL?" Ron demanded, "What's going to happen?"
"Not telling!" the author said, and dissappeared.
"HI EVERYBODY!" Sirius yelled, crashing through the ceiling on his motorbike. Ludo Bagman rode on it behind him.
"Sirius?" Harry said blankly, "Mr. Bagman?"
"Hi, Harry!" said Bagman, "I'm a big creep!"
"COOL!" Harry cried.
"BRIBERY!" Ron added helpfully.
"NO!" Harry screamed, "NO BRIBERY!"
"YES BRIBERY!" Ron yelled.
"Shut it, the lot of you!" Hermione hissed, "I think I hear something coming…"
"The ceiling's gone, if you looked up you could actually SEE the thing," Ron snorted.
But Ron was wrong, of course. The person came in through the floor.
"Like, what are you all, like, doing?" Aly demanded, walking in.
"I dunno," Harry shrugged.
"Well, like, get to class. Snape, is, like, teaching us how to make, like, really awesome cream puffs!"
"COOL!" Harry screamed.
"BRIBERY!" a random Hufflepuff said helpfully, peering in.
Two random guard people whacked the Hufflepuff with blocks of cheese. Then he died.
Then Harry stole their cheese.
"I'm going to make CHEESE puffs!" he announced.
"Lets get to class," grumbled Hermione, who didn't enjoy being late. So they all got back to Hogwarts. Somehow.
Indeed, Snape was showing everyone how to make cream puffs…with a TEENY-WEENY addition of poison, of course.
"NOW EVERYONE TAKE A BITE!" he shrieked, as all of them finished making them.
Everyone but the Mary-Sues and the trio died, because they were all immune to poison, of course.
"Hey, thanks, Snape!" the author said brightly, "All those annoying minor characters are gone now!"
But, of course, a Slytherin, a Gryffindor, a Hufflepuff and a Ravenclaw were hiding in a broom closet. Somewhere. But we don't need to know about THEM until the sequel!
"Well, bye, Harry!" the Mary-Sues all said, "We need to leave. We only stay for a few months because we need to terrorize other schools," they explained.
"Goodbye," Harry sobbed, "Will I ever see you lot again?"
"I don't know," weeped Misty, "I just don't know."
Aly snorted. "Of course you won't! We all secretly hate you," she explained.
"Really?" Harry asked blankly.
"NO!" she yelled.
"…Okay," Harry said.
"I'll miss you guys," Ron said somberly.
"I won't," muttered Hermione.
"What was that?" Aly demanded.
"I said, 'I wish I was as pretty as you are,'" Hermione lied through her teeth.
"Oh. Well, you never will be, duh. Like, duh. Like, oh my god."
So the Mary-Sues left.
Everyone had a celery dip party in celebration of their leave!
Well, everyone being Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, Sirius, McGonagall, Snape, Hagrid, Tonks, Remus and…a really huge cornflake with arms and legs.
"A distant relation," Dumbledore explained, "I thought it polite to invite him."
"Okay," McGonagall said hesistantly.
"He's rather quiet, isn't he?" snickered Ron.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" roared the cornflake, going up to Ron.
"Nothing," Ron squeaked.
"Be polite, Ron!" Hermione hissed.
"Fine," Ron snapped.
Then the party was over.
"So…what's next?" Harry asked.
"Nothing," Dumbledore said, looking at his timetable, "Eat cheese puffs, file nails, get a dental plan for Hagrid, listen to new age music, say goodbye to Mary-Sues, invite distant relation Flakey to celery dip party, have celery dip party, wait for the sequel."
"Well, that sucks!" Harry whined.
"Well, at least you're not waiting as long as JK makes you," the author argued.
"Fine," Harry grumbled.
Suddenly, a girl with silky blonde hair that sported silvery barrettes stomped into the room.
"Is it, like, Tuesday?" she demanded.
"No," everyone said in unison.
"Oh," she said, "Okay."
Then she left.
And then everyone waited for the sequel.
THE END of CHAPTER THIRTEEN