A/N: Just a short sillyfic. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own InuYasha, no matter who's in my closet. The Bye Bye Birdie lyrics were added on a whim, and look at that! I don't own them either.
Naraku's eye twitched.
Pound, pound, pound.
It twitched again.
Pound, pound, pound.
It twitched a third time for good measure.
Three hours, he seethed to himself, THREE HOURS. The very walls of his castle shook in the loud, mind-numbing rhythm. When it had first started up, he'd thought nothing of it. It would go away shortly; after all, most songs were what- three minutes? Four minutes long? Apparently not this particular song. He knew buying her that CD was a bad idea… why had he gone through with it??
"KAGURA!" he bellowed at last, simply unable to take the noise anymore. Although his shout could barely be heard above the throbbing bass, the wind sorceress stood before him only moments later.
"What do you want, Naraku?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. She had previously been flying around outside (anything was better than being inside with all that racket) waiting for Naraku to give her something to do.
"I want you to tell me what the hell is going on! Why must she play that music so loud that it sounds like the castle is under attack!" As he said these words a particularly loud moment occurred causing a lantern to fall crashing to the floor. His eye twitched.
Kagura; however, was delighted. A smirk played across her lips as she explained it to him, "It's called adolescence."
"I don't care what it's called," Naraku said coldly, "Get rid of it."
Kagura laughed. "It's not my fault you made Kanna a child. You should have realized she would grow up someday and go through a little stage called being a teenager."
"You should have told me!" Naraku whined, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Kanna's 'adolescence' was completely throwing off his schedule of staring off into space and cackling evilly now and then. "How was I supposed to know? Do you honestly think some one as creepy and effeminate as me has had children before??"
"Hmm… nope, I guess not."
Naraku sighed. "Look, I don't care how you do it. Just MAKE THAT NOISE STOP!"
At that very moment the pounding cut off abruptly. The castle ceased to shake at last, and the silence swelled up and rang in Naraku's ears. "Sweet relief…" he sighed, slouching back. This did not last very long. A door slammed and moments later the subject of their previous conversation stomped into the room.
Naraku's eyes widened in disbelief. She'd traded in her short, white kimono for ratty jeans and a black t-shirt that said 'METALLICA' on it (whatever that meant). Her hair was cut short and dyed obnoxious pink. The only thing recognizable about her was her creepy eyes, which were presently glaring straight at him.
"I'm going out," she told him.
Naraku blinked. Kagura had to hold back a chuckle.
"Out?" he repeated. "Why would you be going out? I have no mission for you."
"So? I'm going out."
He had been talking to her for only a few seconds and already he was losing. How did she always manage to do that to him?
"Where are you going? When will you be back? Who else will be there?" he iterated with a small frown. Kanna groaned impatiently and crossed her arms.
"Why do you care? You don't love me. You don't even give me allowance!" she growled at him.
"What is the meaning of this!" Naraku bellowed, "You don't need allowance, I buy everything for you!"
"Well maybe its time I became my own person!" she screamed back with equal vengeance. She turned on her heel and stomped off, presumably to go 'out.'
"YOU'RE NOT YOUR OWN PERSON, YOU'RE MY INCARNATION!" Naraku yelled after her. There was no response and he collapsed into tears shortly after.
Kagura sighed. She hated when this happened.
"Come on…" she urged Naraku, pulling him into a standing position.
"I tired to be a good parent, I really did…" Naraku sniffled.
"I know, I know," Kagura patted him lightly on the back. "Here, we'll put on Casablanca and you can berate me for my impertinence for a while. How does that sound?"
Naraku smiled through his tears. At least one of his incarnations had no choice but to obey him. One thing was certain, if he ever happened to create a child again, the job of parent and caretaker would go immediately to Kagura.
Kids! They are just
impossible to control!
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock an' roll!
Why can't they dance like we did
What's wrong with Sammy Caine?
What's the matter with kids today!