Disclaimer:
Gundam Wing not ours....No sue, OK?

Authoress Note: Yay!! Mindless weird things happening here! This story has been written by Ayanami_Chan and Ayame-chan. BTW, the idea for this story came out of the girls' PE locker room...be warned.

Warning: Wufei bashing...heheheh

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*Chink*

Gundam Wing Truth Or Dare...Yet another pointless fic by Ayame and Ayanami!!

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*All the G-Boys and Girls are vacationing at one of Quatre's mansions, you know, the one with beautiful scenery and pretty pink flamingos. All of them are settled in on of the many luxurious living rooms. They all seem sorta bored, except for Duo and Hilde, who are making out, and Heero and Relena, who are wishing they were making out. They would be too, if it weren't for Zechs Marquise and his Deathglare of "Touch-my-sister-and-die!"*

Quatre: So, what do you want to do?

Hilde: Mmmhmm mmm mmmm.

Duo: *removes himself from Hilde* She says play Truth or Dare.

*Two puffs of smoke appear. As they clear you see two teenage girls in T-shirts and jeans, typing on laptops.*

Ayanami_Chan: *with a mischievous grin* Truth or Dare?

Ayame-chan: *with a similar grin* Truth or Dare...

*Everyone sweatdrops and pales.*

Wufei: Oh, God, no!

Relena: It's...it's the authoresses!

Heero: *with obvious fear* It's Ayanami...*voice cracks*

Hilde: *pulls on Duo's braid, hard* Duo no baka!! Why'd you have top say those words??

*Ayame and Ayanami cackle hysterically*

Ayame-Chan: TROWA-KUN!!! *pushes Quatre aside and glomps onto him.*

Trowa: *sweatdrops*

Zechs: *trying to change the subject and avoid the game* Umm....why don't we just--

Ayanami_Chan: I wanna start off! Hmm.....let's see....who should I torture first? *glances around room*

Everyone: *hides behind someone else*

Heero: *uses Relena as a human shield*

Ayanami_Chan: Hee-chan!!!! (AN: it may look sorta stupid, but try saying it out loud! It's so much fun! Hee-chan, Hee-chan!!) Truth or Dare?

Heero: *looks nervously around room* Uh..uh....dare...

Ayanami_Chan: *grins evilly*

Heero: *sweatdrops*

Ayanami: I dare you to...*pauses for dramatic effect*... Kiss her on the lips for 20 seconds!!

Heero: *Looking sorta hopeful* Ki...kiss who?

Ayanami: Catherine!!

Heero, Relena, and Trowa: NANI!?!?

Relena: *if looks could kill...*

Catherine: Okay!

Relena: Cathy!

Cathy: Hey, it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience to kiss someone like him.

Relena: *harrumphs and goes back to her seat*

*Heero reluctantly goes over to kiss her on the lips. It's a really, really lame kiss. Five seconds in, Relena is ready to kill Ayanami. Ten seconds in, she's ready to kill both Ayanami and Cathy. After fifteen, she's ready to kill everyone in the room. By the time they reach twenty, she's gonna screw pacifism and destroy the entire frickin' world.*

Heero and Cathy: *sputters, chokes, and runs to the bathroom. Sounds of gargling are heard.*

Cathy's voice: Heero, pass me the antibacterial mouthwash, will you?

Heero: Sorry, I just used it all...

*more arguing is heard, then more mouth-cleaning. After a little while, Heero yells out to the people waiting for them*

Heero: Duo! Truth or *gargle* Dare?

Duo: DareDareDareDaredaredaredare dare DARE!!!

Heero: *walks out with sinister grin on face*

Duo: Uh-oh...

Heero: I dare you to paint DeathSythe pink, with roses and butterflies and hearts. (AN: I know this dare is more cliche than the whole GW Truth or Dare story thing, but I love it sooo much!!!)

Duo: *nearly faints*

Ayame: *let's go of Trowa long enough to get a pink paint bucket for Duo* And there's plenty more where that come from!!

Duo: *very reluctantly goes outside and begins to paint his Gundam.*

*Everyone laughs as Ayame directs Duo on where to place hearts, and where the flowers should be. After about three hours, satisfied that the dare was accomplished successfully, they return to the living room*

Duo: Ummm... *looks around to see who's left* Ayame-Chan-san! (AN: hehehe) Truth or Dare?

Ayame: *thinks for a moment* Truth.

Duo: Darn, I wished she said dare. Okay, then. *thinks for a moment, then looks her straight in the eye* What did you--

Ayame: *deathglares him*

Duo: *falters and sweatdrops* Uhh...What did you....uhh

Ayame: *deathglares more*

Duo: uhh....what did you...uhh...umm...

Ayame: *give him her special Battousai deathglare*

Duo: *practically screams* What did you have for breakfast!?

Everyone: *facefaults*

Ayanami: *laughs her head off and high-fives Ayame.* Power of the Authoresses!! HAHAHAHAHH!!

Wufei: 'What did you eat this morning?!?!' What kind of question is that Maxwell? Weakling!

Duo: Well, she did her Battousai deathglare! Almost as scary as Heero's!

Ayame: *breaths fire* What do you mean, almost as?!?'

Duo: Ahhhh!! Scarier!! Much scarier!! Just let me live!!

Ayame: OK! *sits back down and frowns* What did I eat? Hmm....well, let's see. *starts counting off fingers* I had a bowl of cereal, some scrambled eggs, about a dozen pancakes, seven donuts, a quarter of coffee cake...

*Everyone stares at her petite frame and jaws drop*

Wufei: How can she eat so much as still be so small.

Zechs: She's asian. I guess that's it...

Duo: Geez, does she eat this much all the time?! She's beaten me!

Ayame: ...some apple pie, flan, and a glass of milk to top it all off.

Ayanami:*walks over with a worried expression in face. Pokes Ayame in the side* Ayame! No wonder you're so thin! You're not eating enough!

*everybody facefaults*

Ayame: Well, I'm not as hungry as you, Miss Bottomless Pit 1999, AND 2000!

Duo: Wait, she eats MORE than you?!?

Ayame: 'course she does.

Ayanami: 'course I do.

*everyone stares at Ayanami, who is taller, thinner, and American.*

Zechs: Not even the Asian excuse applys here...

Wufei: I don't believe it...

Ayame: Well then, Wufei, Truth or Dare?

Wufei: *remembers other dares* No way am I going to paint Nantaku pink, or bright yellow! Injustice! Truth.

Ayame: Who's better, men or women?

Wufei: *is about to answer when he sees all women in the room deathglaring him* Uhh....*pales* Men?

Sally: *pulls mallets out of hammerspace and whacks him with a mallet, knocking him unconscious.*

Trowa: He's out cold.

Ayame: Oh, but he still has to choose next...

Ayanami: Then I'll chose for him!!

Quatre: *seeing the danger in this, rushes over to Wufei and stats shaking him.* Wufei! Wufei! Wake up, choose someone.

Wufei: *groans and points at Quatre*

Quatre: Huh? Me?

Wufei: Truth or Dare...

Quatre: Uhhh....

Wufei: Truth or Dare....weakling..

Quatre: Me? Uhh...Dare...

Wufei: *sits up, clutching his head*

Wufei: Punch Heero. Hard. *gives Heero a deathglare*

Quatre: Nani!? B- but I can't do that!

Wufei: Punch Heero. *climbs on couch and get's ice for his head*

Quatre: Uhh....OK. *goes over to Heero and punches him with everything he's got*

Heero: *barely feels it. Stands up, and deathglares Quatre.* Duo learned this lesson a long time ago. One for one. *Sends Quatre flying into the wall and into the next room.*

Quatre: *stumbles back in a few minutes later*

Relena: *all dreamy eyed* Wow...

Duo: And I thought MINE was bad...

Quatre: Ugh...Noin-san...

Noin: Truth.

Quatre: What was the real reason you went on the Mars Mission with Zechs? *collapses on floor.*

Ayame: Poor Quatre! *takes Quatre to couch and lays Quatre down so his head is in her lap. Grins at Ayanami*

Ayanami: *gives her a thumbs-up*

Noin: Uhh...ahh....*looks nervously as Zechs* uhh...

Ayanami: answer it please...

Ayame: Uh-huh, answer it...

Zechs: *stares at Noin questioningly*

Noin: Umm....it's all peaceful up there....and uhh...the stars are pretty...and uhh..

Zechs: *stares more* You did it for me, right?

Noin: uhh..umm....

Ayame and Ayanami: *waits impatiently*

Noin: *sighs* I did it for the money.

Zechs: *Is shocked, Tears start to form in his eyes*

Ayame: Enough with the melodrama, OK? This is a humor fic, remember?

Noin: *looks relieved* OK, Zechs, Truth or Dare?

Zechs: *glares at her* I've never chosen truth before, my secrets are mine. Dare.

Noin: *grins* I knew it! I dare you to go to a bar, get drunk as hell, come back here, and sing "White Reflection" for me.

Zechs: *stares* B-but that's three, no, four, things!

Noin: But I said it all in one sentence.

Ayame and Ayanami: *nods*

*Zechs leaves, come backs four hours later, and stumbles up to Noin and begins to sing.*

Quatre: *wakes up* Who's singing so badly? And why does it smell like alcohol in here? *looks at Zechs* Oh. *plugs ears and lays his head back on Ayame's lap.* Oh...Ayame, your lap is warm...

Ayame: *whips out a sakabatou and sends Quatre flying into the wall again*

Zechs: *finishes and swaggers over to where he collapses, into Noin's arms.*

Noin: poor baby...

Duo: I think he drank a little too much sake...

Heero: You can say that again...

Zechs: *slurred* Relena, Truth or Dare.

Relena: *looks at Heero, and decides to be brave* Dare.

Zechs: Ignore Heero totally for the rest of the night.

Relena: But...but...but...

Zechs: Just do it.

Relena: *pouts sadly* OK.

Hilde: *winks* don't worry, it'll be alright.

Relena and Hilde: *grins at each other, and start whispering*

Relena: Hilde, truth or dare?

Hilde: Truth.

Relena: What do you really think of Duo's junkyard?

Hilde: It's, um, dirty...

Duo: *looks at her*

Hilde: and....um... *takes a deep breath* It's a crappy yard full of useless junk.

Duo: *falls off chair*

Hilde: Duo, I'm sorry...but....Relena! Truth or Dare!

Zechs: Wait! She can't go twice!

Ayame: Yes she can!

Ayanami: We wanna see what they planned!

Ayame: So she can! Don't argue! *deathglare*

Zechs: O...O...OK...

Relena: Dare!

Hilde: *winks* I dare you to kiss Heero, on the lips, for a minimum of one minute. And no little wimpy thing like he gave Cathy. I mean TOUNGE!!

Heero: *looks surprised, but has no problem with this*

Relena: *winks* OK!!

Zechs: NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Noin: *holds him back* Go ahead, Relena.

Zechs: Omae a Korosu, Hilde!!

Heero: Hey, that's my...uhh...line...uhhh *falters as she approaches him*

Relena: *walks up to him, straddles his legs, and gets a good grip on the front of his shirt. Heero appears to have no problem with this either. She pulls him forward, and they kiss. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to him.*

Zechs: *ready to go ballistic, but Noin restrains him*

Hilde: Relena, you gotta pick someone else.

Relena: *swings her arm around and points at someone.* Mmmmm hm Mmmm?

Ayanami: Dare.

Relena: *comes up for air* I dare you to cut Duo's hair. *leans forward again, and restarts the kiss*

Ayanami: *shrugs and takes a pair of scissors.*

Duo: *looks at her, and runs away. Fast. Very fast.*

Ayanami: *chases him, out the door*

Wufei and Sally: *Help to restrain Duo as Ayanami approaches*

Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ayanami: *turns around and pouts* But I don't wanna!!! Wahhhhh!!! He's too kawaii!!!! Wahhhh!!

Ayame: That's OK. Well just make Relena give you another dare.

Ayanami: OK!

Duo: *faints with relief*

*Rewind! Oh, the power of the authoress!*

Relena: *comes up for air* I dare you to watch an episode of Pokemon! *leans forward again, and restarts the kiss*

Ayanami: *shrugs* OK. *goes into a room and watches the episode. Then returns half an hour later, apparently unharmed*

Heero: *pulls out of kiss* WOW! How can you withstand that sort of torture?

Ayame: Didn't you know? She has two little brothers. She has to watch Pokemon and Digimon on a daily basis. The movies too.

Heero: *shrugs. Pulls Relena back in for more French lessons*

Wufei: What a weak dare! Injustice!

Ayanami: *holds out the extra popcorn* Anybody want some?

Sally: *reaches for bag* Sure, why not, I'll hav--

Ayanami: *pulls bag away* Truth or Dare?

Sally: Truth.

Ayanami: Why did you ask Wufei to join the Preventers?

Sally: *unintimidated* He needed a job.

Ayanami: and??

Sally: He needed, and needs, a life.

Ayame: and?

Sally: And he has good combat skills.

Everyone: And?!?

Sally: What? No more ands, that's it!

Everyone: Dammit.

Wufei: *falls off chair*

Sally: Now can I have some popcorn?

Ayanami: OK! *hands her the bag*

Sally: Trowa, truth or dare?

Trowa: *wasn't paying attention, was watching Heero and Relena, who are still at it* Huh? What? Oh...dare.

Sally: *sees Ayame, still glomps onto him* You seem to be enjoying Ayame-chan's company...how 'bout givin' her a nice big smooch.

Trowa: OK. *kisses her, but doesn't do the Heero/Relena thing* OK, done. Catherine, truth or dare?

Cathy: Dare.

Trowa: I dare you to *pause* throw a knife into an apple on top of Wufei's head.

All females: *cheer*

Wufei: Na---nani!!?? B-But that's not fair!!

Duo: *places apple on his head, and presses him against wall*

Wufei: No! I do not trust that weak woman with a knife!

Cathy: *deathglares*

Hilde: *hands her a knife*

Relena and Heero: *separate for a moment so they can watch*

Trowa, the semi-drunk Zechs, and Quatre: *Get up to help restrain Wufei*

Wufei: Injustice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *is pinned against wall*

Cathy: *takes aim and throws*

Wufei: *screams like an onna* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*chink*

~Fin~ ^_^

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-Ayanami_Chan
ayanami_rei@softhome.net
-Ayame-chan
rinoakt8@squaresoftrules.com