Disclaimer: Um, no. I don't own Inu-Yasha or Sonic, what makes you think the SWAT Kats will be any different?!

Okay, I have been reborn. Greatness thy name is SWAT Kats!! I used to watch this show all the time with my sister (that's CH), and I loved it. Now, years later, I'm falling in love with it all over again. Strange how you only really appreciate these things when you get older. Now I look back and think: I wish they were still on. And if they are, I wish it was a channel I recieved. -.- Ah, the sadness of only having eighty channels.... -sigh-

So with that established, I give you Vous Êtes Trop Tendu, a short of some alone time Jake and Chance have after one of their missons. The name is supposed to mean 'You Are Too Tense' in French, but I could've translated it wrong. I'm better with Spanish, but the title didn't sound right. And French is cool.

Ah well, c'est la vie....now read.

Or um.......else!!! Oo

Oneshot - Vous Êtes Trop Tendu

If you went up to a resident feline of Megakat City and asked them to describe the SWAT Kats, you would receive a large variety of answers, depending on the citizen. Reckless, strong, brave, heroic, fearless; all these and more would ring in your ears for the rest of the day, or for however long you intended to pursue to the almost unlimited responses to this single, simple question. Yet, no matter whom you asked, or how many, you would probably never meet anyone who said that though the two alleged heroes were indeed all of the above, they were still flesh and blood creatures that could still feel hurt, injury, and indeed, pain....

"OW!!!" Jake 'Razor' Clawson yowled, struggling to break away from his comrade as the antibacterial was placed against his open wound, an angry gash that traveled from the crook of his elbow around to the back of his shoulder, the glaring red injury showing through his fur like a landing beacon. "Gah!! Jeez, Chance, what are you putting on me, acid?! Stuff burns like hell!!"

"Well, if you'd hold still..." The larger cat ground out through clenched teeth as he tried to clean his friend's injury. Jake had been fighting him ever since they had inspected the slash and the tabby had broken out the first-aid kit. In fact, it had gotten to the point where Chance practically had to pin the dark brown tom cat's arm to his side to keep it still while he worked. Sadly, this action did not restrict the movement of his legs and free arm. Or his mouth, and tom cats can be pretty loud when they want to be.

"AH!!" Jake tried to push his companion off with his non-captive arm and jerk his one held prisoner away, but Chance was, obviously, twice as muscular as the smaller team member, and held on without mercy, pressing the medicine-dosed cloth against the wound.

"Dammit Chance, that hurts!!" Jake yelped, making an attempt to brace his feet against his fellow feline and kick himself away from the now-deemed 'sadist' partner. Chance simply shifted his balance ever so slightly, making Jake almost fall off the couch, held up only by the tabby's firm grip on his arm.

"If you'd just stop moving, it would hurt so much!" Chance retorted, trying to put more antiseptic on the cloth and hold Jake still at the same time, a battle he was losing.

"No, it'll only hurt more!!"

"Just shut up..." Chance clamped a hand on the smaller cat's shoulder and held him steady while Jake protested as loudly as he possibly could while his partner had him pinned down like this. Not that his captor had it any easier; the constant movement made it almost impossible for Chance to effectively clean out the cut. Still, the yellowish tabby was by far the more stubborn team member, and in the end, Jake submitted to being taken care of, though he obviously wasn't happy about it.

"See? If you'd kept quiet from the start, this wouldn't have had to take forever." Chance said, pleased that he was now almost finished. Jake simply mumbled something under his breathe and the striped yellow cat's ears pricked forward. "What was that?" He inquired, his eyebrow raising on its own as he released his partner's arm.

"I said, I can do it myself." Jake growled, trying to rub his forearm without touching the gash. When he didn't quite succeed, he winced, ears flattening against his head until they looked like they'd been melded to it.

"Hah, there's a laugh. You couldn't have reached it if you tried." He laughed slightly, unwraveling the wad of gauze in the kit. "And you're being more immature than me today..." He pulled the arm away from Jake's babying and began wrapping it. "What gives?"

"Besides that if someone hadn't crashed the Turbokat into a glass skyscraper, of all the buildngs in this city, I wouldn't but cut up like salami?" Jake asked, voice literally dripping with so much saracasm that Chance wondered if he needed to break out an umbrella.

"I said I was sorry, didn't I? How was I supposed to know that missle was going to hit the wing?"

"Because it was a tracking missle and I told you they pretty much never miss. You ought to listen to me once in a while. D-Ow, watch it!!"

"Um, okay, let's weigh those priorities: listen to your explaination on how every little thing that the bad guys throw at us works, or fly the damn plane and save us from getting blown to tiny bits by it....." Chance said, mocking a thoughtful tone.

"That missle was hardly little, Chance."

"And I still managed to dodge it."

"By almost getting me run through with a metal support beam." Jake snapped, standing to glare down at the other feline. "Or have you forgotten already that your reckless flying almost killed me, eh? That I was this," He held his thumb and index finger an inch apart for emphasis, "..close to being a cat on the end of a pike?! It'd take a lot more than Bactine and bandages to clean that mess up, I'll garauntee it." Jake could almost feel static making his fur bristle.

"Will you stop with that? It almost happened, but it didn't. A close-call, that's it. We came through okay, didn't we?" Chance leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, not breaking eye contact. "I'll admit, I was reckless, and the turn wasn't the best by a long-shot..."

That was certainly true. Chance, while being the best pilot in Megakat City, and probably anywhere, was indeed a risk-taker. One of the main reason he and Jake had been stuck together if he recalled. Something about the officers hoping Jake's calm demeanor and habit of trying to think things through before acting would rub off on him. It seemed more like Jake had aquired Chance's short temper at times though.

"...but we got out of there okay. Didn't we?"

Jake growled out a half-silent, 'I guess you're right...' and flopped down on the floor beside the couch. The tom cat never could hold his ground in a fight with words, not against Chance. The larger cat was too stubborn. But there was upside to losing all the time.

"Ugh, get off my ears..."

Chance laughed and scratched them anyway, knowing Jake couldn't resist. The following purr reaffirmed that knowledge.

"Still pissed?"

"You're an idiot." Came the reply.

"And you're too tense." The tabby cat lifted his hand just barely away.


"Okay, okay...." The petting resumed.


Um....petting was kinda stuck in there at the last minute. Was looking around at stuff, and saw the cutest little comic someone posted on a message board for SWAT Kats fanart. Jake was mad at Chance and it ended with ear-scratching!! It was sooo cute. They said it's by ChibiJaime on deviantart, and so now I am rifting through the whole gallery for the pic. I'll find it and stick the link on my bio whenever I update it, so keep an eye out. Now however, I've gotta go to sleep, cause it's like.....elevendy clock. Or somewad....

Review? Please....?

(Pissed remark and scratching seem to belong to ChibiJaime, only used 'em cause it was cute, and if I can think of a better way to end this short, I'll take it out, promise.)