a/n: Well, this is it! The final chapter! Can't believe it took a whole year! This is why I usually steer clear of chapter fics (I have commitment issues). I'd like to thank all of you who stuck with this story to the bitter end and submitted reviews despite the maddening wait between updates. Your patience is nothing short of saintly!
Paradise Valley, 2085
"Well, kids, here we are," Victor Dementor said to his two children as the hovercar breezed through the main gates of Paradise Valley.
"Yay!" Ten year old Valerie cried, bouncing up and down as high as her seat belt would allow. Her sister, fourteen year old Vanessa, did not share her excitement.
"Why did we have to come all the way out here to visit Grandpa?" Vanessa whined. "Why couldn't we have just sent him a v-mail?"
"Now, honey, it's his birthday, and you don't turn 120 every day," Victor said.
"But Grandpa is always so mean and grouchy!" Vanessa whined some more.
Victor sighed heavily. "Look, we're only going to be a couple of hours. If you can make it through the whole visit without complaining, we'll stop by the tattoo parlor on the way home."
Vanessa's eyes lit up. "Promise?"
The family exited the car and made the long trek from the parking lot, passing over a dozen security cameras, to the heavy steel doors that marked the entrance. Victor removed his eyeglasses and stared into a round red light to the left of the door, where a red beam scanned his retinas.
"Genetic identity confirmed," a robotic voice said. The doors slowly swung open. "Welcome to Paradise Valley Retirement Home for Super Villains."
"Knock, knock," Victor said, swinging open the door to room 420. "Happy birthday, Grandpa!"
A withered old man in a wheelchair, with a black dome balancing precariously on top of his shriveled head, glared at his visitor. "Go away! Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Grandpa, you're just staring out the window," Victor sighed.
"I'm spying on the squirrels!" Grandpa snapped. "Always hanging around, gathering acorns…they're up to something!"
"Kids, don't you want to say hi to Grandpa?" Victor said.
"Hi Grandpa," the kids chorused in unison.
Grandpa snorted in disgust. "Well, aren't you all sweet and well behaved! In my day, kids were rude and disrespectful! This generation is going to seed, just like the last one!" He glared at Victor.
Victor sighed. "Grandpa, we've been over this a thousand times. Not everyone from a super villain family is cut out to be a super villain. Some of us would rather be orthodontists. Now c'mon, let's just have a nice visit. The girls have never been here before. Why don't you give them the grand tour?"
Grandpa grumbled something under his breath, but didn't protest as Victor grabbed the handles of his wheelchair and pushed him out the door.
"…and that's how I almost took over the world with giant mutant rabbits," Grandpa said as the family made their way down yet another long hallway, passing the mineral baths and the ant-gravity room. "If it wasn't for Kim Possible you kids would be royalty!"
"Um, Grandpa, do you have any take-over-the-world-stories that don't end with Kim Possible foiling your plans?" Vanessa asked.
"Sure I do! I got stories where I'm foiled by Kim's daughter, her granddaughter, her cousin, her younger sister, her niece…" Grandpa said, his voice rising with every word. "Those Possibles are like roaches, always showing up where they're not wanted, ruining all my hard work! Why, if I was twenty years younger I'd…"
"Grandpa, what's in there?" Valerie cried, pointing to an elaborately carved wooden door.
Victor read the words etched into the gold plate above the door. "Super Villain Hall of Fame," he said aloud. "This looks interesting." He pushed the door open and led everybody inside.
They found themselves at the front of yet another long hallway, with digital portraits lining the walls. The family slowly proceeded down the hallway, with Grandpa pointing out each villain and gleefully dishing the dirt on them.
"That's Monkey Fist. He realized his lifelong dream of becoming a full-fledged monkey, settled down in the Amazon with a nice girl monkey and raised a whole troop of kids. And that there is Duff Killington. Heonce servedfive years in prison for answering the age-old question, what do Scotsmen have under their kilts? And there's Motor Ed…he went out in a blaze of glory trying to jump over Niagara Falls in his nitro-charged monster truck."
"Whoa!" Vanessa and Valerie exclaimed suddenly. They had come to the end of the hall, where a huge bronze statue of a slim young woman with long hair loomed in front of them, the words OUR FOUNDER emblazed across the pedestal. On either side of the statue was two more portraits; one was of a middle-aged blue-skinned man, the other a muscular young man of Hispanic descent.
"Who is that?" Victor asked as he stared at the statue, clearly as impressed as his daughters.
"That's Shego, the hero of the super villain community," Grandpa said. "Back in '05 Kim Possible teamed up with a do-gooder named Windy Dayes…or was it Wendy? Wilma? Anyway, they teamed up to rid the world of villainy, and Shego stopped them. It was the only time that one of us villains ever beat Kim Possible!"
"How did she do that?" Vanessa asked.
"Paradise Valley was once the front for Kim and Windy's sinister brainwashing operation, which would normally be fine except it brainwashed villains into becoming average, law-abiding citizens! Shego took them on and took them down! Destroyed the entire resort with a gigantic mudslide and saved the world of villainy! The place lay in ruins for years until she restored it and turned it into a super villain retirement home. That was back in 2028…or was it 2008? Somewhere around there."
"Okay, and who are those two?" Victor asked, gesturing to the portraits.
"Pretty Boy there is Senior Senior Junior, a spoiled rich kid," Grandpa said. "He helped Shego foil the brainwashing scheme. He was immune to the brainwashing because he had some..." Grandpa paused, scratching his dome. "Some…genetic quirk or something…I dunno, I forget. Anyway, Shego also got him to ponyup the dough to turn Paradise Valley into a retirement home."
"And the blue guy?" Vanessa asked.
"That's Dr. Drakken," Grandpa snorted. "Your average, nothing special, run-of-the-mill super villain. Shego used to work for him back in the day. I don't know what she saw in that lousy…"
"So where are they now?" Victor interrupted, anxious to avoid another tirade.
"Drakken and Shego disappeared when their evil lair blew up. Normally that's no big deal…back then super villain lairs were always blowing up…but nobody has seen them in nearly sixty years."
"So they were blown up," Valerie said matter-of-factly.
"Not necessarily," Grandpa replied. There were plenty of rumors…some people say Shego and Drakken fell in love and faked their deaths so they could get married and start over. Others say she ran away with Junior, and Drakken was so distraught he moped around his lair until one day he accidentally blew himself up with one of his own inventions. Junior's still around, but don't bother trying to ask him what happened. He's a total recluse…hasn't left his family's private island in decades."
"I bet Shego is with him. I bet the two got married and are living happily ever after, not needing anything in the whole world except each other!" Vanessa sighed, staring at Junior's portrait.
"Well, that does make more sense than having her end up with Drakken," Victor winced as he looked over the evil genius's portrait.
"Yeah, yeah, it's a real storybook ending," Grandpa groused. "Point is, if it wasn't for Shego and her gang of idiots villainy as we know it may not have existed today. You kids should be grateful you live in a world where if you wake up one morning and decide you want to take over the world, or build a giant robot, or alter the DNA of chipmunks so they crave human blood, you can go for it! You don't know how good you have it! Why, in my day, if we wanted a death ray, we couldn't just mosey on down to the corner store, we had to build one from scratch! And if you needed plutonium rods or any other nuclear material, you couldn't just order it off the internet, oh no! You had to go to the mafia or break into a nuclear power plant! And henchmen? Don't get me started on henchmen!"
"Okay, Grandpa, I think it's time for your nap," Victor said. He signaled to his daughters, and the three of them hurried their still-ranting grandfather out of the hall and back to his room.
Ten minutes later the Dementor family hovercar was airborne and on the highway.
"That was fun!" Valerie exclaimed. "Can we go back soon? Please?"
"It was kinda cool," Vanessa admitted. "And I didn't complain once. So, how long until we get to the tattoo parlor? I was thinking of getting either a butterfly or a flaming skull."
"Oh, about that. You're not getting a tattoo. I lied so you'd quit whining," Victor said casually.
Vanessa's jaw dropped. "But you promised!"
"That's the beauty of coming from a long line of super villains. Promises mean nothing," Victor replied. "Ours is a proud heritage, girls. Embrace it."
Vanessa slid down in her seat. "Oh, I will," she hissed, already plotting her revenge.