If you haven't read any of my previous VHD and Castlevania stories, I'm concerned this one may not make much sense as this story is based pretty heavily on them.
You can probably tell from the title that Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass inspired much of the action of this story.
Chapter One - Left-Handed Lagomorph
"Oh! I'll be late! The Duchess will be ever so furious at meeee!"
Alucard sat up abruptly at the grating, whining tones, wondering what the heck was going on. He'd just managed to crawl into bed, though the innkeeper was displeased at his unyielding insistence that his room face due West, and fall asleep. He'd ridden hard, trying to close the distance between himself and eeD, now that he had a solid lead on where his foe was heading.
He found himself in a field that was covered with impossibly bright green grass. Fortunately, it was overcast, as he was utterly exposed in the open with the daytime sky directly overhead.
"What?!" Alucard touched his cloak, wondering just how he had managed to dress and wind up here when he would swear he'd just retired for the night. Oddly enough the cloak, though it felt like his, was a medium blue color with a white lining instead of the black with red lining Twilight Cloak he favored.
"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Someone near him wailed.
Putting aside the puzzle of the color of his cloak, Alucard rubbed his eyes and looked down.
A hand, a human hand, was scrabbling around on its fingertips, running absurdly in circles. While he watched, the mad little thing scraped itself along the ground, catching the band it wore around its wrist until it worked it off of itself. Then, the weird creature flipped itself up, revealing a startling face, and plucking the wristwatch (for that's what it was) up between two fingers to dangle the timepiece before its own mad little eyes.
"OH! It's two minutes later now than it was two minutes ago! She's going to be most cross! Whatever will I do?!"
Alucard closed his eyes, convinced that he'd gone mad, or perhaps Left Hand had.
"Left Hand..." he began wearily.
"I'm the White Rabbit!" The strange creature who normally resided (well, 'quietly' certainly wasn't the word, perhaps 'mostly sanely' was; Alucard blinked that he thought such a thing was 'sane' in any way) at the end of his brother's arm struggled to pull itself up onto its wrist to show Alucard that, yes indeed, for whatever mad reason made sense to it, it wore a pair of ridiculously long rabbit ears on two of its fingers.
"And I'm late! She's gonna cut off my head!"
Alucard blinked down at that. Cut off Left Hand's head? Didn't the daft creature realize it didn't have a head?!
Alucard hear a snicker.
"Cut -- off -- my -- head!" Left Hand chortled.
"A-hem!" a disembodied voice remonstrated.
"Oh! Uhm, yeah...right. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" With that, the White Rabbit gathered up its wristwatch, looped the band securely around two of its fingers, and went scrabbling off as fast as its four fingers could manage.
"What the heck's gotten into him?!"
"A good question indeed. Surely you will find the answer, m'boy!"
Alucard looked up at that, directly into Dracula's eyes.
"Father?!"
Dracula smiled at him, a sweet smile coming from him to be sure, but one that by necessity revealed his fangs. Alucard blinked, wondering at his father's strange expression, then blinked again as his father disappeared. Only the eerily sweet, fangy smile hung in the air for a moment before it too, disappeared.
"Has everyone finally gone mad?!"
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Author's notes -
I realize that everyone is completely Out Of Character. I'd like to say that I write OOC stories instead of writing author self-insertions and Mary Sues, but that wouldn't be accurate. (I simply don't inflict those stories on you!) I hope you enjoy my impossible OOC romp. (And aren't too scared by it to read my other, more seriously canon stories later!)
Next Chapter teaser - Chapter Two - Tweedledum and Tweedledemon
Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Please feel free to email me also if you see something awkward that needs to be clarified or fixed. I need all the help I can get!