Seeing Ulrich in the infirmary and his strange behavior had worried me so much that I decided to go see him. I was sure he was angry with me for something, though I didn't know what. I was about to knock on his door yesterday, right after the incident, but I lost my courage after thinking about it a little more.
But it kept bothering me so much, that I had woken up early that morning, and, after I couldn't stop thinking that something was wrong any longer, I decided to pay Ulrich a visit.
So I did. I snuck downstairs, grabbed my raincoat, and slipped outside. I ran through the pouring, ice cold wetness over to where the student dorms at our school were.
I finally got to his dorm room again, and, after a moment, I gingerly knocked three times.
I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. But in a way, I was hoping he wouldn't open the door for me. I was afraid of him, afraid of why he was so upset.
But he did open the door, and, though I couldn't see his face in the darkness, I could feel his sadness as it emanated from him. I almost felt like crying.
Without either of us speaking, I stepped inside, and he shut the door behind me. I took off my wet jacket, and sat down on his desk chair. He sat on his bed.
I didn't know how to begin. "It's kind of dark in here... don't you think?" That was the only thing that came to mind.
Without a word, he reached over and flicked the switch to turn on his bedside lamp. Its light splashed upon his face. His eyes made me shudder...they seemed to burn into my mind with an anger and sadness that could only come from someone who was not mad at me, but at himself.
"What do you want, Yumi?"
I thought a moment. "I just came by to see what was going on..."
He looked down. "You want to know about yesterday, don't you?"
I got up and sat on the bed with him, and grabbed his hand. "I want to know about you, Ulrich. I want to know what's going on,"
He looked over at me, and pulled his hand out of mine. "It doesn't matter."
Leaning forward slightly, I whispered, "Yes it does, Ulrich."
"No, it doesn't. I'm not what's important to you. Odd is what's important to you."
I was confused. "Odd? What does Odd have to do with this?"
He looked over at me. "You love him, don't you?"
I paused. "Yes," I told him.
He nodded, and got up. Standing with his back to me, he hung his head. "Go home, Yumi."
Tears began to flow down my cheeks. "Ulrich..."
Ulrich didn't turn around. "I said go home." His voice was cracking, like he was starting to cry too.
I stood up, and put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around so I could face him, and took his hand once again. "I do love Odd, Ulrich," I began, more tears running down my face. "But Ulrich, I love you too. I love both of you." I smiled through my tears and squeezed his hand as I said, "I-I love Jeremie too. You are a-all s-so special to me." I broke down crying much harder.
He didn't know what to say. Finally he took me into his arms, embracing me. I buried my face in his chest. "I love you Ulrich!" my voice was muffled, as I was talking into the warmth of his body.
"I love you too, Yumi," he said.
Pulling my head up to look at him, he continued. "That's what I wanted to tell you the other day."
"Oh Ulrich," I said, placing a hand on his cheek. "You mean so much to me."
He smiled, and kissed me on the forehead.
As he did so, I realized something. I loved Odd and Jeremie like brothers. I had always known that. I thought that was how I loved Ulrich too. But as the soft flesh of his lips pressed against my face, I knew I loved him in a different way then that.
I didn't even notice we were closing in on one another. When our lips touched I was almost startled, but as our kiss deepened, I sank into it, and let myself go.
It felt so good to kiss him. I didn't want to stop.
...But I knew I had to go soon, my parents would be worried if they didn't find me home in bed.
I broke the kiss.
Still crying, but smiling too, I looked into his eyes. Wordlessly I hugged him again, feeling his body against my own.
After pulling away, I grabbed my coat and started walking out of the room. I opened the door, and looked back at him. "Ulrich?"
"I really do love you."
"I love you too, Yumi."
I ran home, through the rain. It was cold. But I didn't notice. I was warm inside, because I knew that this was the beginning of something wonderful.