A Harry Potter FanfictionA Nameless Hero
Synopsis: Draco Malfoy was found dead in his own room in the Malfoy Manor. The Aurors searched everywhere for clues and found the blonde's journal, the key to his every misery. SLASH one-sided DMHP. Don't like don't read!
Disclaimer: Don't own don't sue.
Warning: Male/Male reference. Don't like don't read.
September 17th 2000
I know you're sick of hearing this already, but I want to tell you again, one last time, that I love Harry.
I'd been attracted to him since the first time I met him at Madam Malkin's shop. I wasn't drawn to him because he was the Boy Who Lived; it was his innocent green eyes that had drawn me to him. I liked him because of his childish purity.
As I talked to him, I wanted to impress him; I wanted him to see me as a great person, a person he would like to be friends with. But no, I only succeeded to make myself looking like the most arrogant prick in the world.
I was hurt when he rejected my friendship.
I was angry. I tried to make his life a hell. I always reminded him of my presence. I wanted him to go and surrender to me, telling me that he had been wrong to reject me, but no, he made friends with Weasley and Granger the Mudblood.
A year of mocking him, a year of making his life hell passed by. And I realized that I couldn't make myself hate him. I only thrived to make myself care more about him. When I found out about Father's evil scheme, I sent Dobby, my closest House Elf, to warn him. But no, he had to ignore my warnings and go to Hogwarts, succumbing himself to danger. I spent the year trying to make him see how bad it was to hang around with Granger – she will be the first to die when that Monster awakened, but he kept on hanging around her, making me worry myself to death because of it. I cared about him. I wanted him to be safe.
I liked watching him fly. He looked so happy, so free, so relaxed, and so innocently beautiful. That was the main reason why I wanted to be the Seeker of Slytherin team. I couldn't watch him well from the stands. At least, when I was flying with him on the air, I could look at him better. I knew I had to nag at Father to buy the whole team and me expensive Nimbus 2001s and got myself beaten for not being able to win every year, but being able to watch you fly closely worth every beating.
My feelings for him deepened. During fourth year, I made those awful badges to make him not care about winning but care about keeping his life in the line. But no, he had to help a hostage that wasn't under his responsibility and had to encounter that Snake faced git one more time, coming back with Diggory's dead corpse in his arms.
I knew about his little rebellious DADA group. Gods, had he not known how to recognize which particular type of people he shouldn't have messed with? He could have been sent to prison for that! I wanted him to be safe. That was why I handed him to Umbrigde before it was too late. I wanted him to realize how dangerous his situation was. But once again no, he had to sneak to the Department of Mysteries and faced a whole bunch of dangerous Death-Eaters and the Snake git again.
He was making himself losing his own purity. And I hated to see that. I hated to see him falling into darkness, berating himself for his Godfather's death.
My feelings for him deepened again, into a depth I could no longer dare to describe. But I still kept my 'arrogant prick' façade. It wouldn't do him any good if he finds out about my unworldly feelings. I would only complicate his life, tainting his purity even more, putting him into a more dangerous situation than before. I had to suppress my anger whenever I see her joining hands with him, but acting was my talent, the only thing I was good at. I had no problem dealing with it. I knew very well that my own body wouldn't betray my feelings.
I had from a long time ago told you the reasons why I sound so insecure to you. I knew that I could trust you; that you would never tell anyone about this. I might look like a mighty, arrogant, and even – Merlin forbids – narcissist prick, but no. In truth, I was just a coward. Who wouldn't? I would like to see a person who doesn't sound any insecure about himself after years and years of being unable to live up to his own parent's expectation. Of scolding were my days. My father's scowling face was practically the first thing I could remember from my childhood.
Father's capture to Azkaban didn't change a thing. He was soon freed by his connections, and whilst he went into a hiding someplace on earth far away from me, his control on me didn't deter. I was initiated against my will as soon as I graduated from Hogwarts, and my days went from worst to hell.
But I would do anything, as long as they kept themselves from hurting Harry.
Murders. Raids. Rapes. Of blood became my days. Time passed in a blur. The more I thought about it, the more I hated myself for the bastard I'd become. I was filthy, filthier than Granger and Weasley, who to my own relief managed to protect Harry well. I wanted him to be safe and happy, and I would do anything to keep his green eyes shine in pure happiness.
I know that you must have been wondering why the hell do I write about my whole life. Well, people often say that when one is dying, he will have a flash of his own life, and this is what exactly I am having. A flash of my pathetic life.
The war continued, and I couldn't keep them any further from hurting Harry. I was forced to go to Dumbledore, subjected myself into a Veritaserum and informed him about the whereabouts of the Dark Lord's headquarter.
I know very well what this means. The Dark Lord doesn't take betrayal lightly. Betrayal means death.
But don't get me wrong, dear, because I don't regret betraying the Snake git. I don't. It was probably the only right thing I'd ever done in my life.
Dear diary, I must tell you that this will be my very last entry. You must be thankful, for you no longer have to listen to my coward ranting. But diary, I have one last wish. Please stay true to your promise and don't tell anyone about these. Please.
A tear fell from one intelligent brown eye as Auror Hermione Granger closed the leather book and put it into her pocket, glancing at the cold pale face of her ex-school archrival, the Dark Mark glaring at her from his left forearm. The woman wiped the tear off her face before her raven-haired best friend nudged at her shoulder. "Anything wrong, 'Mione? Find any clue there?" Harry asked her, his green eyes shining in confusion. Hermione smiled at him before shaking her head. "No, nothing, just his coward ranting." ...coward ranting...
Harry sighed. "Just what I've expected from the arrogant git."
Hermione winced slightly. "Can we just close this as a case gone wrong and go back home? He might had been hit by his own people because of his own inabilities," she said, feeling guilty for her words.
Harry nodded. "After all, we need to prepare the main attack before Voldemort realizes that we'd found the location of his safe little headquarter." He turned and left the room, together with the Healers and the crate that held Malfoy's dead body.
The brown-haired woman sighed before she caught up with the Healers. "Thank you…Draco," she whispered before leaving as well.
A year passed. The attack did take Voldemort by surprise, and ended his dark malicious life, together with other hundreds of Death Eaters. The Wizarding World managed to slowly repair the damages and lived together in peace. Harry married Ginny, Hermione married Ron, and the couples lived together happily.
The cemetery was almost vacant, hundreds of cold blocks of stone standing rigidly on the ground, each with battered names, and a story to tell, crisp brown leaves covering the ground.
In the midst of all these, a brown-haired woman stood, her intelligent brown eyes looking at one particular block of stone. A smile tugged at the end of her lips as she swept the dust off the stone and put a bouquet of white lilies onto the patch of ground in front of it.
"How are you, Draco?"
Although she was answered by nothing, the woman kept on coming there the year after, and the year after, and the year after. Because she was the only one to know the truth behind the arrogant prick he had acted like.