Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
Warnings: Slight language, sexuality, and I guess male/male pairings (kind of, but not exactly). If you are offended by any of these things please do not read.
A/N: I'm just trying something a little different. This is not meant to be taken seriously in any way. Please let me know what you think so far. All kinds of feedback welcome.
Ranma was wearing a silky hunter green nightgown which accentuated her red hair and flattered her curvy figure.
"How do I look?" she giggled as her body reacted to the man in front of her.
"You know I think you're beautiful," Ryoga answered from the large heart-shaped bed. "Come, and I'll show you just how beautiful I think you are."
Ranma giggled. "I've never done this before. What if I'm not any good?"
"Don't worry, love. I'll be gentle." He pulled her onto the bed and began to kiss her softly while his hand rested on her stomach.
Ranma shot up from his mat to find that he had been changed into his girl form. It wasn't hard to guess how he had transformed considering Nabiki was standing before him with an empty glass and a camera.
"Life certainly is full of surprises. Oh, Ryoga?" Ranma could see the money signs flashing behind Nabiki's eyes.
"Listen you opportunistic… if you say anything about this, I'll…"
Nabiki raised her eyebrows and leaned against the wall. "I'm waiting. You'll what?"
"I'll…" the fiery red head fought for words.
"Oh, Mr. Saotome…"
"How much do you want?" Ranma snapped.
Nabiki smirked wickedly.
Ranma jumped in the warm bath quickly and tried to remember when exactly the dreams had started. It seemed that they had been occurring for a little over a month, and Ranma's only consolation was that they only came when he slept in his female body.
The dreams were all slightly different but shared several key components. First, Ranma was always mentally a girl. Second, they always had some cheesy romance novel setting. Third, they always ended with Ranma losing her virginity. But the final and most disturbing component of the dreams was that they all had his rival, Ryoga Hibiki, playing the role of his main love interest.
"Disgusting!" Ranma spat emerging from the bath water. "What the hell is wrong with me?" He practically yelled.
"You don't have enough time to hear the list!" Akane, his fiancé, called from outside the door.
"Very funny, Ugly." Ranma called back. "Can't a man take a bath without having to listen to your stupid voice?" Girls were so weird. Ranma suddenly wondered if Akane had dreams like the ones he had and felt his face grow hot. Probably not, he thought to himself, she's too much of a tomboy to get all girly like that.
"Gee, I was just coming to warn you that Ryoga's here and I'm pretty sure he'll attack as soon as you get out, but just forget it."
"Who cares? I'll just beat him like always," Ranma called even as he felt his face flush with embarrassment. It wasn't like his male body had ever reacted to the thought of Ryoga, but he hadn't seen the guy since before the dreams had started, and somehow he felt ashamed.
"I heard that, Ranma! Prepare to meet your end! Not even you can stand up to my new attack."
Ranma smiled at the sound of his rival's voice. Maybe a fight was just what he needed to feel normal.
"Come on, Son, don't let me down," Genma called from the sidelines. The whole family was gathered in the backyard to witness Ryoga's new attack minus Kisumi who was fixing breakfast.
"This should be very interesting" Nabiki said meaningfully.
"You can do it, Ryoga!" Akane called, just to tick her fiancé off.
"Oh, thank you, Akane, I'll win this fight just for you!" Ryoga's face lit up causing Ranma's anger to rise.
"Stop jabbering and show me what you got, and if past fights are any indication, it ain't gonna be much!" Ranma yelled.
"Today things will be different, Ranma Saotome," Ryoga informed him. "For I have mastered the secret technique of the Amazon: the Bamboo Snap."
"That old hag helpin' you out again?" Ranma sneered, but suddenly found himself doused with a spray of cold water. He looked over angrily to see Happosai holding a hose. "What the hell was that for, you old perv?"
"Distract him with your breasts, Ranma! It's the only way. That Bamboo Snap is bad news." Happosai waited eagerly.
"No way!" Ranma yelled back as Ryoga lunged at him. Ryoga had never had a problem fighting Ranma in his girl form and Ranma had always been able to adequately fight as either gender, but when Ryoga closed the space between them and their faces were only inches apart, Ranma's heart began to beat wildly, and his female body began to react. Suddenly, he wanted to kiss Ryoga.
Because of this distraction, Ranma was soundly defeated by his rival.
It took several hours for Ranma to come to. He groaned when he heard Ryoga's voice.
"I'm sorry, Akane, if I would have known my new attack was that powerful, I would have held back," Ryoga chuckled nervously.
"It's okay, Ryoga, I'm sure the only thing that's really hurt is his ego, and that could definitely be knocked down a peg or two."
Ranma groaned again, realizing that he had lost--to Ryoga. Of course it hadn't been a fair fight, but he couldn't exactly tell everyone he had lost because his female body was attracted to the guy. Ranma shuddered; he was obviously back to male form. He knew he had to get rid of the pig once and for all.
Ranma had decided how he could remove Ryoga from his life forever, but he hesitated. He didn't hate Ryoga, in fact, Ryoga was almost a friend to him. They had known each other for years and had even grown to respect each other. Ranma hated the thought of never seeing him again, but his female body seemed to have a mind of its own and Ranma was not going to let it be attracted to a guy.
It had been one day since the fight, and Ranma still had the bruises to show it. Ranma knocked lightly on Akane's door.
"Come in," she called back softly.
Ranma opened the door.
"Shh…" Akane warned, "He's sleeping."
Ranma regarded the little black pig sleeping on her lap with disgust. "Hmm… I guess P-chan's back."
Akane's eyes shone with happiness. "I've missed him so much."
"Isn't it weird how he always comes back with Ryoga."
Akane shrugged before petting the pig between the ears. P-chan continued sleeping contentedly.
"P-chan looks dirty," Ranma informed her. "I doubt that thing's ever been washed."
"P-chan doesn't like the water," Akane explained. "He always fights me."
"Well, that's why now would be the perfect time, seeing as he's asleep and all. I'll even help ya."
Akane's eyes narrowed. "What are you up to?"
"Nothin' I just don't want that thing in the house if it isn't clean. I mean you even let it sleep in your bed. Yuck!"
Akane pulled the sleeping piglet to her chest. "Okay," she said quietly and the two of them went into the bathroom.
Ranma ducked as a table flew at his head. "Ranma, you jerk! You mean to tell me you didn't care that your fiance was sleeping with another man!"
"I'm not a man." Ryoga said sadly a towel draped around him. "Forgive me, Akane, I'm a bad person." He then turned to Ranma his eyes murderous and said through clenched teeth. "I will kill you for this. If you wanted her to know you should have just told her. It wasn't fair for her to find out like this. I hate you."
'The feeling's mutual," Ranma lied.
Ryoga grabbed his clothes and left quickly. Ranma followed him out.
"Look, buddy, I'm sorry, but believe me I had good reason for doing it."
"It was wrong for me to spend all that time in Akane's bed." Ryoga lamented tears flowing from his eyes. "Goodbye, Akane, I'll never see you again.
"Why do you always call out to her like she can hear you or somethin'? She's still inside, you moron."
"Shut up, you jerk!" Ryoga yelled. "Do I need to teach you a lesson with the Bamboo Snap?"
"You caught me off guard the last time. I think this time you'd see much different results."
"I don't have time for you. I should leave before I upset her…bwee…" Ryoga had been doused with a bucket of cold water.
Akane reached down and plucked up P-chan.
"What are you doing?" Ranma asked with surprise.
"P-chan and I are going to bed," she answered frostily before kissing the stunned piglet firmly on the snout.
"What? You're taking him into your bed. Even knowing…"
"Well, if it was okay with you before, it should be okay now. I'm not going to give up my little P-chan. It's okay, Ryoga." She held the pig at eye level. "I'm not mad at you. Now you don't have to pretend and you can stay with me always." P-chan whimpered and his eyes misted with tears.
"Like hell he can!" Ranma exclaimed. This was turning out in the worst way possible.
"Hmmph." Akane answered with a scowl, before retiring to her room pig in tow.
Ranma was furious. Two days had passed since Akane had learned Ryoga's secret and the pig was still there. What was worse was that Akane was acting like nothing had changed. She still slept with the piglet, took the piglet everywhere she went, cuddled the piglet to her breast…"
"Oww…" Ranma howled upon punching the bathroom wall.
"Honestly, Ranma," Akane entered in pajamas.
"Where's the pork chop?" Ranma asked.
"P-chan is still sleeping."
"You mean Ryoga?"
"Yes," Akane glared at him and began to brush her teeth.
"I can't believe a tomboy like you didn't kick his ass when you realized he'd been pretending to be a pig just to sleep in your bed."
"He's not pretending to be a pig. He is a pig. Just like you're a girl." Akane directed the spray of water from the sink so that it hit Ranma in the face transforming him into his female self.
Akane stuck her tongue out at him, and Ranma scowled in response. He had avoided being transformed since the fight with Ryoga and did not want to be in his traitorous female body.
Ryoga sighed from behind them. "Really, Ranma…if…if Akane were mine, there's no way I'd pick fights with her." Ryoga stood before them wearing a pair of black pants and no shirt.
"I thought you were embarrassed to let her see you without a shirt?" Ranma said even as he felt his breath catch and a warm feeling below his stomach. I hate this damn body, he thought to himself.
"Well, thanks to you, Ranma, she's already seen everything I have," Ryoga answered with a fierce blush. He then stretched and yawned making every muscle visible on his well-defined chest. Ranma was afraid he was going to drool.
"What happened to P-chan?" Akane asked.
Ryoga chuckled uncomfortably. Obviously unsettled by something. "Kisumi poured some water on me this morning. I mean, I hope it's okay. I've been P-chan for almost two days straight."
Akane shrugged as if disappointed not to have her little pig, andthen smiled and moved to Ryoga and said in her disgusting baby talk reserved for her pet, "Of course it's okay. How is my wittle baby waby this morning." She then scratched Ryoga behind the ear causing him to close his eyes in ecstasy.
Ranma could only stare with his mouth open in horror. "What the… Ryoga are you going to put up with that?"
Of course that was a stupid question. For Akane, Ryoga would take any humiliation.
Ranma left the bathroom and went to his room to pout.