Chapter 8: Flashbacks

Kakarot slid his hand underneath his pillow and pulled out the familiar orange top and pants. Despite the years, they still contained smells from his past life on Earth. "Chichi," he muttered holding the cloth to his face and breathing in deeply. Yes, she was still there in the form of a light perfume and cooking spices. He sighed and laid himself down on his bed, allowing his mind to wander back to a very happy time of his life...

It was a beautiful day. The sky was a radiant blue and the sun was warm enough for everyone's comfort. All his friends had gathered, they were sitting in rows of chairs on either side of an isle, which he was looking down, waiting for Chichi. The slow, steady music began to play and his heart jumped a beat as he saw her emerge with her father down the isle. He waved, a goofy smile on his face and patiently waited for her to approach. He did his best to hold still for her, which was what she wanted him to do, but he couldn't help feeling so giddy. Truthfully, he still didn't get the whole point of this wedding thing Chichi wanted them to do so badly, but if it made her happy...

Kakarot smiled at his daydream remembering this. It was stupid and foolish; so much could've turned out so horribly wrong, but thankfully he ended up with a woman who made him so happy he'd never trade her in for anything. He inhaled deeper, falling back into that day.

There was so much food that day but, after five or six servings of the main course, Chichi wasn't really letting him eat too much at one time. She wanted to dance and to show him off to friends of hers he hadn't met yet. But, as annoying as this was, what she wanted to do most with him was kiss passionately and this more then made up for the lack of food.

He still didn't understand what love was, what a wedding represented, but he liked the physical contact him and Chichi made when they were snogging. He felt so warm inside, so cared for and accepted. Loved. Loved for the first time in a long time. Since his grandfather died. He wanted more.

They were finally alone together, thank heaven! He could hardly wait any longer to have Chichi outta the sights of the others. She laughed as he dropped her on the bad and crawled on top of her, kissing her mouth as roughly as he dared. He could sense she was a more fragile then him but, unlike some of the other females he'd met, she'd could hold her own, that much he could tell. His jacket was gone and she was unbuttoning his shirt all the while their lips locked passionately against each other. She pulled away, placing her fingers over his lips to slow him down and hear her out. "Goku," she whispered in his ear.

'Goku...' The long forgotten name vibrated in his memories. For a minute he struggled to recall...was that his name? But he was Kakarot...What had happened to this Goku?

'He lives far away,' a tiny voice in his mind said. 'That's where we are now. Don't open your eyes. You'll just find yourself back in that horrible place...Kakarot's world...don't open your eyes...' He didn't open his eyes, but allowed himself to slip back to the scene in Goku's world.

He sat on the bed waiting. Half-annoyed by the reason Chichi had left him; he could've gotten that white dress off her in due time! But no. 'It's too delicate,' she'd told him. 'And it belonged to my mother! Goku, honey, I just don't want to run the risk of harming it. Let me take it off on my own.' She rolled him onto his back and purred as she traced lines on his chest. 'I promise to reward you when I return...' a gentle kiss on the cheek. 'Why don't you get out of those clothes while I'm away?'

He gladly complied. They had been uncomfortable on him all day and the only reason he hadn't torn them off sooner was because she had asked him not to. She also reminded him quite a few times to keep them on by removing his hands whenever they wandered to areas to loosen the clothes, mostly around the neck and chest area though Chichi had cleverly averted an almost pant-less incident once or twice throughout the day.

Butt-naked he laid back on the bed and waited. A giggle alerted him to the presence of another in the room and looking up he saw Chichi standing in the doorway to the bathroom on the hotel. She, like him, wasn't wearing anything and he marveled at her body. He sat up hastily when she cuddled up next to him on the bed, an image replaying of another time in his young life where he had seen a girl naked and she had not been pleased. Several things had hit him upside the head, causing pain that he wished to avoid at all costs.

'What's the matter?' she asked sweetly. 'Isn't this what you wanted? Awww, you're not afraid of girls now are you?'

She was so close to him now...what was he going to do! Bulma hadn't taught him how to act in this situation...in fact, she'd done everything in her power to keep his hands off certain parts of the female body. So, what did sitting here naked with Chichi mean? All deals off? He could touch wherever he pleased? Or was that going to cause him some deal of pain, which he really hoped to avoid. He could do without excessive yelling as well.

Not knowing what else in the world he was expected to do, he grabbed her head and titled it so he could have easy access to her lips before plunging his tongue into her mouth like they had been doing. He made sure to hold her head, not too hard, with both hands so as to keep him from touching anything else. In due time, he came to learn that Chichi wanted him to touch her and so let his hands roam around, exploring...

Kakarot rolled over and bit down on his bottom lip. His eyes were open now, he couldn't help it. It was just too painful to relive without her, he'd realized harshly. The throbbing heat between his legs didn't help him feel all that better at the moment either. He rubbed at it, hoping to make to go away. Sometimes that worked, most times it made it worse. This was not one of the better times.

He recalled having these immense hot flashes twice before in his life: two years before marrying Chichi during his training on Kami's lookout and four years before meeting Bulma. In the training there was nothing to do but attempt to rough it out but he'd fainted, awaking three days later in a tub of ice water to a very worried looking Kami and Mr. Popo. The hot flashes were gone though. 'Maybe it's some sort of Saiyan thing,' he thought. 'Raditz might know what to do...'

As if answering his silent plea, the door opened with a gentle swish and the older sibling looked in on the room. Upon seeing Kakarot there though, he froze, unsure suddenly of what to do.

Kakarot hardly seemed to notice as a wonderful smell had overtaken him. A wide goofy smile spread across his face and he sat up to greet his brother. "Raditz..." he half sighed, a few naughty thoughts suddenly floating across his mind. He couldn't sense anything wrong with this though and allowed them to continue on without scolding himself once.

"So did he go--Oooooo...no huh?"

Fasha then popped her head in below Raditz's and it was quite clear she didn't know what to do with the situation any more then Raditz did. But, unlike Raditz, she wasn't battling down henti thoughts and the overpowering urge to boink something. "Ummm..." she said, feeling Kakarot's gaze turn icy on her. "Maybe my room would be more-"

In a flash, Kakarot had wedged himself in the tiny gap of only a few inches between Raditz and Fasha. "Get Out," he seethed between clenched teeth at her. He had temporarily forgotten who he was, who she was, what Raditz was to him. He'd forgotten that when his sibling entered the room. The scent had soothed him. He wasn't in pain anymore and Fasha had implied taking Raditz away with her, taking away his relief. 'Well,' his mind said, lusting for the battle over a mate. 'I'll be DAMNED if I let that happen!'

"Go," Raditz suddenly commanded. "Fasha, get out!" She didn't need to be told twice or why. In a flash, she was gone and her footsteps could be heard running down the hall.

Kakarot turned back to Raditz, smiling contently--

WHACK!

"If you DARE touch me, I'll kill you myself!" Raditz said, his arm still extended form having just punched his sibling in the gut, still holding his sibling up. He retched it free and Kakarot doubled over on the floor coughing and gasping for breath. He was in too much shock to feel the pain just yet and lifted his head to find Raditz standing over him, his expression to dark to read.

"Ra..." Kakarot gasped, cringing at the searing pain that shot through his stomach and chest at having to move the muscles. Breathing wasn't exactly a very pleasant thing to be doing at that point either, but it was too necessary to give up. "Rad...Rads...its..." And then his vision blurred, due more to tears then anything else, and he collapsed on the floor with unconscious darkness devouring him.

Gentle hands massaged his upper back and shoulders, kneading the skin like it was dough. He realized they were female hands and were very slowly moving their way down his body. They stopped at his hips and then something leaned close and began nuzzling his face and neck, purring lightly. He trilled deeply in response, a smile working it's way across his lips.

"Oh Chichi," he muttered in English. "I had such a bad dream..."

"Awake now Kakarot? Or are you still a little delusional?" a voice whispered in his ear that wasn't speaking English and certainly was NOT Chichi.

Kakarot's eyes sprang open. He then realized it was Fasha and made quick to zip out from under her. "What do you think you're doing!" he yelled at her from the corner he braced his back against. Fasha crossed her arms and Kakarot realized, with a slight jolt of horror, that she wasn't wearing anything at all. And neither was he. "What happened! What'd you do!"

"I told him it was a bad idea," she muttered, lowering and shaking her head. "I told him, I told him." Looking up, her expression was one of slight regret. "Don't be getting upset just yet," she replied. "I didn't do anything to you. Raditz wanted me too, so that you wouldn't remember, but...well, it didn't feel right doing that to you, okay? Not without making sure you understand some things."

"Things?" Kakarot asked. "What...kind of things...?" He pulled a pillow close to him and over his lap, hoping that in all the excitement Fasha hadn't seen his excitement.

"I'm sure you're wondering why your brother attacked you. I mean, you only acted naturally and he went off the deep end about it and all." Kakarot stared unblinkingly at Fasha, not comprehending a word she was saying other then what he remembered happening. When he didn't reply, Fasha sighed in an almost defeated sort of way. "You know you're in Heat, don't you?"

"Heat..." Kakarot repeated. "In Heat as in..."

"It's time for you to breed," Fasha finished for him with a nod. "Reproduce. Father a child." Kakarot twitched involuntary at the last thing she said. It was like another blow to his stomach as he recalled the wonderful little boy he had had back on Earth. Some father to that child he had been...But Fasha didn't notice and so continued, "Exactly how much of this do you understand?"

Kakarot tilted his head, in a child-like way and shrugged. "Not a whole lot I guess. I mean, I never really understood the reproduction of the earthlings I lived with..."

"Whoa," Fasha said. "Okay, let's take it from the top then.

"Saiyans go into Heat once every eight years, coming into Heat for the first time when they're eight years old, got that?" Kakarot nodded. "In the ancient days, Saiyans usually Full-Mated on their first heat with the Saiyan to whom they shared the strongest bond out side of their family. You understand that?" Kakarot took a minute to comprehend the information, then nodded once more. "Of course, not all of these relationships worked for the best so when our first king was elected he passed a law that stated, unless under special circumstances, Saiyans were not to be mated until they were 16 years of age. They could, however, be Half-Mated, which would be carrying out a regular mating ritual without fulfilling the blood exchange part which would then bind them as mates for life and open a telepathic link between the two. Follow all that?" Again, Kakarot waited a moment then nodded, this time just a bit more slowly. "From then on out it was up to the individual on what they wanted to do with their personal courtships.

"Now, the actual mating ritual, which everyone follows more-or-less on instinct, begins with the Heated Saiyan picking out another they will win over. In your case, you seemed to have picked Raditz;" Kakarot blushed a bright red and shifted his pillow around. As usual, Fasha didn't notice, though at this point Kakarot suspected she did and was just very skilled at hiding it, and continued on, "And that's most probably due to the fact that he too is in Heat. It isn't uncommon for Heated Saiyans to seek out others that are in, just done with, or just about to begin Heat as a potential mate. When in Heat, Saiyans, especially the males, give off a strong, sweet smelling scent to let others know they are ready to mate and attract other Saiyans to them. The only way to win a mate over is to defeat them in battle. This strong scent will attract a lot of other Saiyans who will attempt to win him over in a fight. The winners of these mating fights will decide if they want to mate with the loser or not, and it is not uncommon for a Saiyan to reject another based only on the fact that they don't think the loser's fighting was good enough to be paired with them, Heat or no Heat." She paused to let this all sink into Kakarot's mind. Eventually, he nodded to show he was ready to go on.

"So when a winner does decide to mate, he will claim the Saiyan who fought him by rubbing his scent upon the other and demonstrating his power over the other as the dominatrix. Usually this is done during an intense make-out session right where the battle had been fought, though if it wasn't in an area private enough for the dominate Saiyan's tastes then he will move them both to a more quiet quarter. There's a lot of physical exploration at first, as each of them seeks out any areas of injury or weakness. After that, it's left to instinct and hormones. If they wish to complete the ritual as a Full-Mating one, then towards the height of climax each of them will bite into the base of the other's neck hard enough to draw blood. And then, with any luck, the next generation will be conceived."

Kakarot stared at Fasha, not even bothering to nod this time. Sure, he got the just of what she was saying, but he was having issues controlling the images dancing around in his head; half of them being of experiences with Chichi and the other half being of fantasies he wanted to do with Raditz. He pressed down harder on his lap pillow.

"Is it wrong for me and Raditz to mate then because we're brothers?" the young Saiyan asked.

"Special circumstances," Fasha replied. "Technically, no. Prince Vegeta has made it clear that, considering there's only 6 of us left now, we may mate with whom we wish. If we were still on Planet Vegeta and there were many more Saiyans, then yes; a courtship between you two would be frowned upon, but you wouldn't be punished--"

"So then why won't he just mate with me!" Kakarot interrupted. "Why is he running away and avoiding this! I mean! No offense Fasha, I just..." his voice trailed and he looked away.

"You'd be more comfortable in his arms," she finished for him. "I know what you mean. But Raditz avoids this because he's been through a lot."

"Been through a lot?" Kakarot repeated. "What do you mean?"

The older female Saiyan shifted a bit uncomfortably and leaned in closer to her company. "Look, I think you should know this, but...Well, don't you ever let Raditz know I told you, got it?" Kakarot nodded and waited for her to continue, a concerned, serious look on his face.

"Before Frieza made us into slaves, Saiyan's lived in tightly knit family groups consisting of two mated Saiyans and any children they had. Your father was very close to Raditz, really like a father should be. At that point in time, we worked along side the Zarcosian people in the planet retail business. They didn't understand a lot about us and we didn't understand a lot about them, but we could fight and they knew how to operate some high tech technology; we got on well enough.

"Then one day they struck up a deal with Frieza. Our king didn't really like it, but since it didn't concern us, we rode it out. As time when on it seems the Zarcosian racked up pretty high debt to Frieza and so, to pay it off, they handed our people over to Frieza. He didn't take us over at first; Frieza may not be the brightest crayon in the box but he's not retard-stupid either, much as we all wish he was. For the first four years or so he didn't really call us a part of his empire, but spent a lot of time examining us, testing the waters on every boundary he could thing of. He selected families at random and called them out to conduct various testes on his own.

"A lot of people were upset about this. Some of the 'tests' he'd set up were emotionally shattering. Children were being taken from their parents, people getting beaten to death, women being raped. One guy came back ranting that he'd been forced to kill his mate. People begged our king to do something, stop this maniac. But our king was powerless to help us or even ease the suffering of what was going on. Some people left our home, Planet Vegeta, either because they had fallen victim or feared they would be next. Your brother was eight when he and your father were called on for another 'test.' After the incident, neither of them spoke to much about what had happened. Bardock did confess everything, in great detail, to his mate Rosha who recounted the events to me when we were paired in the same fighting team years later.

"You're father had gone in hoping that they might've gotten picked for one of the easier tests, like for Stamina or Strength. The planet they had landed on was small, but remote and completely deserted. Frieza greeted them, along with 20 if his most loyal and strongest Elite fighters. Although Raditz was showing potential to be a 1st class soldier, he was still just a boy and didn't have enough experience to take on even half of the 20, never mind them all being Elites. Your father was a 3rd class warrior, he surly wouldn't have lasted."

She paused and looked to Kakarot, concern displayed on her face. Fasha waited for the younger Saiyan to absorb all this information, and brace himself for next part. When he was ready, Kakarot nodded at her to go on.

"To put it in the bluntest way possible, your father was forced to mate your brother during his first heat, in front of Frieza and his 20 Elites."

"WHAT?" cried Kakarot as he jumped to his feet. "No! No! NO!" He rushed at Fasha and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her a bit. You're lying! Tell me your lying! That CANNOT be the TRUTH!"

"Kakarot, I really wish I was but even if this was a joke it wouldn't be funny," Fasha replied. "Your father tried talking his way out of it, but Frieza used the lives of Rosha and Raditz against him. He told Bardock that if he didn't do everything he was told, he'd kill his eldest son. When Bardock told him he wouldn't let him harm his son, Frieza used the threat of killing Bardock and then tormenting Rosha and Raditz for as long as they lived in ways that need not be repeated, ever. And neither Raditz nor Bardock had been allowed a scouter to call for help; Raditz didn't understand what was being said for his father and Frieza spoke in a different language, one both of them knew but he did not yet learn. Your brother was held down and raped without even knowing why."

Kakarot had sunk to his knees and covered his gaping mouth. Fasha's words rebounded in his mind, echoing off the walls to repeat themselves over and over again. Images of what had been done darted across his mind, the helpless look that must've been on his brother's face...Another thought resurfaced, a memory from far away, 'He looks just like his father; younger, less tan, not quite as torn up.'

'I look like him!" his inner voice finally screamed among all the other chatter. 'I look just like our father! Raditz...Oh my God, poor Raditz! My brother...How will I ever face him again! What would I say?'

"Kakarot? Kakarot! KAKAROT, REMEMBER TO BREATHE!" A violent jolt brought the younger Saiyan out form his shock and he inhaled deeply as he now was able to focus on his deprived lungs. He fond himself looking straight into deep brown eyes filled with worry. Fasha leaned back a bit to give him space, but kept a hand on his shoulder, afraid he would forget how to live again. "Are you going to be okay?"

Kakarot nodded shakily. He tried to get to his feet and swooned dangerously, collapsing into the bed. Fasha sat beside him, rubbing his back with her hand and stroking his hair. "I guess you're not in the mood for sex then, huh?" she asked after a long moment of silence.

"No, I'm not..." Kakarot said, lying horribly in the physical way. He reached over the side of his bed and began groping for his discarded clothes. And when glancing over in Fasha's direction, accidentally looking in an area he could get killed for looking at by his wife, he noticed a rather disturbing looking scar slicing across her lower abdomen. Concerned, he asked, "What happened?" before he even knew he'd spoken.

Fasha looked down to were his eyes had lingered and back up into his dark orbs. She smiled faintly, a smile clearly not full of any happiness, and got up to fetch her clothes as well. "It's a hard knock life, Kakarot. We all know that. We're slaves now and we don't have a lot of choice in matters. You just...learn to live with things..." And she turned away, but not before Kakarot caught the gleam of a tear falling down her cheek. Before he could ask her more, or even offer a shoulder, she was dressed and was fleeing out the door, calling a quick goodnight over her shoulder and leaving Kakarot to wonder at the complexity of females.

End Chapter 8!