The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters, GI Joe characters or Marvel characters went Poof! Just a mad little Halloween fic from yours truly! Oh what a deranged mind I do have!
A Halloween Tail
Not long after Cobra's nanite invasion it was Halloween. The X-Men decided to throw a small get together in the X-Mansion and the Misfits and some of their friends were invited. "I can't believe nobody dressed up yo," Todd grumbled. He was the only one wearing a costume, a pirate suit.
"Toad, we're mutants," Kurt said with his image inducer off. "Every day for us is like Halloween."
"Life certainly is scary enough," Lance remarked.
"Yeah we're all still a little down," Kitty said. "What with Evan still being in jail and nobody thanking us for helping to save the country and all."
"We're all a little old for dress up," Scott pointed out.
"Then how do you explain those uniforms you guys wear?" Todd asked.
"Very funny," Scott glared at him.
"Besides we didn't have time to get real costumes and stuff," Amanda said. She was there along with Doctor Strange and Benny. Benny was performing some magic tricks for the younger kids and the toddlers.
"You would have if you asked Pietro," Todd said. "He's got a million of 'em."
"Why…?" Amanda began to ask.
"You don't want to know," Althea cut her off. "Trust me. You don't want to know!"
"Never liked this stupid holiday anyway," Logan grunted as he sipped his coffee.
"Aw come on Logan!" Benny said. "Halloween is a great holiday! You get candy and have fun!" He levitated a plate of green cookies around. "Come on, have a cookie and get into the spirit!"
"You're gonna be a spirit if you don't stop bugging me, bub," Logan growled as he took a cookie.
"How can anyone hate Halloween?" Jubilee asked as she and nearly everyone else took a cookie. "Why is that?"
"Yeah you have a bad experience with a bag of rocks or something yo?" Todd asked.
"Why do I hate Halloween?" Logan looked at her. "Think about it, everybody dresses up like monsters and freaks. Little kids are encouraged to put on costumes that makes them look like mutants and everybody says 'How Cute'. And everybody has a good laugh. But what happens the day after? Everything goes back to people hating us for being real mutants. What do we get?"
"You're a bitter man aren't you?" Althea grinned. She then bit into a green cookie and ate it. "But not as bitter as these cookies."
"Is it me or do these cookies taste…Funny?" Amara made a face.
"Yeah and I feel kind of weird," Amanda blinked.
"Hey look," Fred pointed at Doop. "Doop's changing colors!" Indeed, Doop was now having rainbow color waves all over his body. "Freaky man..."
'It's like looking at the 70's all over again," Forge blinked. "Even his tongue is changing colors!"
"I really don't feel so good," Wanda put a hand to her head.
"I think we're all feeling weird..." Rogue winced.
"OW! MY BUTT HURTS!" Bobby shouted. "HEY!" Suddenly from his backside a long monkey tail grew.
Before anyone else could react, nearly everyone in the room shouted in pain. Then they all grew different kinds of tails. "What the…?" Rogue yelled as she grew a brown foxtail with a white tip.
"WHAT WAS IN THOSE COOKIES?" Jean shouted. She had grown a long, red feathered tail.
"I am not so sure I want to know," Xi remarked as he examined his new long green scaled tail.
"Well this is something that doesn't happen everyday," Forge examined his tail which turned out to be metallic with a huge clamp on the end. He used his tail to pick up a glass of punch. "Cool."
"Kitty…" Xavier had a long hairless tail behind him. "Did you make the cookies?"
"Kinda…" Kitty gulped. She had a long cat's tail behind her.
"Why am I not shocked?" Althea groaned. She had a long blue tail with a webbed tip on the end.
"Well at least I don't have to worry about being the only one in costume any more," Todd remarked. His tail was the same as Althea's only it was green.
Only Kurt and Rahne and the babies were unaffected. "Good thing we didn't eat any," Kurt remarked.
"Why didn't you?" Scott shouted. He had a long reddish brown tail like a retriever.
"Because we saw Kitty making those an hour ago," Rahne said. "I dunno why you're all fussing so. I grow a tail when I change into a wolf. It 'taint so bad."
"THIS IS NOT THE SAME THING RAHNE!" Ray shouted as he pointed to his tail, which had an electric spark on the end of it.
"This is so weird," Danielle looked at her long black horsetail. "Why do I feel like singing the My Little Pony theme song?"
"Thanks a lot Kurt!" Low Light snapped. He had the tail of a golden retriever.
"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU PEOPLE WARN US?" Logan shouted. A huge black wolf tail had sprouted from behind him.
"Well…" Kurt shrugged. "I guess I'm still a bit miffed over all those times Kitty forced me to try her muffins and nobody helped me."
"They just smelled funny to me," Rahne shrugged.
"But how in the world could Kitty make a recipe that causes people to grow tails?" Amara asked. She had a flame on the tip of her tail like a Charmander.
Amanda had a long black lioness tail. "Benny…Did you happen to show Kitty your spell book?"
"Is that what that was?" Kitty asked. "I thought it was weird that I had to add bat oil instead of vanilla."
"Oops," Benny gulped. He had a very long black tail behind him.
"Well this really helps my self image," Lina groaned. Her tail was insect like and had a stinger on it.
"Oh my god…" Pietro looked at the white bushy tail behind him. "It's beautiful!"
"What?" Lance glared at him. He had a long coyote like brown tail behind him.
Pietro was stroking it happily. "It's so soft and fluffy! Like silk! It makes me even more handsome! I love it! I love it!"
"Just how many of those cookies did you eat Pietro?" Lance asked. "Cause it sounds like they infected your brain too!"
"Think about where his brain is…" Roadblock grumbled under his breath. He had a long catlike tail as well.
"I think I overdid it," Fred looked at his long tail with a club like a dinosaur's.
"Do did Doop!" Lance pointed. Doop had seven green tails prodruing from his back. "Does Doop even have a butt?"
"! $$$&&&!" Doop snapped at him. "::&&&!"
"That's easy for you to say," Jean groaned.
"They are…interesting I have to admit," Spirit looked at his eagle's tail behind him.
"Yeah but they do come in handy," Shipwreck used his long webbed tail to scratch his back. "Oh that feels good!"
"Don't get too attached to them," Dr. Strange sighed as he looked at the book. He had a long black catlike tail. "Fortunately the spell will be over by midnight and you'll all be back to whatever passes for normal around here."
"Oh is that all?" Remy groaned. He had a red tail like Kurt's. "This is so embarassing!"
"I dunno Swamp Rat," Rogue snickered. "I think yours kind of fits."
"Hey look what mine can do!" Arcade's was red and curled up like a pigs, only it was extra large. He leaned back so he was resting on it and he started to bounce on it. "Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!"
"Thanks a lot Kitty!" Wanda rolled her eyes. She had a black foxtail with a red tip.
"Why do you people still let her cook?" Althea asked. "Do you people have a death wish or something?"
"Yeah like we can actually lock her out of the kitchen!" Scott snapped.
"Scott!" Kitty pouted.
"Oh come on Kitty look at the evidence here!" Scott pointed to his wagging tail. "If this doesn't tell you not to cook anymore I don't know what will!"
"First bird wings, now a bird tail," Warren looked at his white and gold hawk like tail. "Why don't I just get a lawyer suit and change my name to Harvey Birdman and be done with it?"
"I hate this place," Vi groaned. She, Carl and Ororo had black lion's tails as well, only Ororo's had a white tuft of hair at the end instead of a black one. "I really hate this place!"
"Why the hell is my tail so freaking small?" John shouted as he looked at his tiny dog tail. "THIS IS NOT FUNNY PEOPLE!"
"Consider yourself lucky!" Sam spat out fur from his huge blond fluffy tail. "Why did I end up with a squirrel tail for crying out loud?"
"At least yours has fur on it," Xavier muttered.
"Of all the nights for Dr. Reisman not to be here," Logan muttered.
"I thought Hydra was intrusive by giving me things I didn't want," X23 looked at her black wolf tail as well.
"This better not be a donkey's tail I'm feeling," The Blind Master was examining his with his fingers.
"Do you really want to know?" Low Light asked.
"Not really," The Blind Master sighed.
"Of course I've always said when you drink you act like an…" Low Light smirked.
"Not one more word, bright boy," The Blind Master snapped. "Unless you want some throwing stars in a very painful place!"
"Oh come on everybody!" Jubilee said. Her tail was like a dragon's but the tip sparkled. "Why can't we just enjoy them? It's only for a couple of hours. It is only for a couple of hours right?"
"It better be!" Cover Girl snapped. She had an auburn foxtail.
"Kurt how do you control this thing?" Scott asked. "I can't get it to stop wagging! Kurt? Kurt?"
"Right here!" Kurt teleported back into the room with a camera. "I just had to get this on tape!"
"How do you like walk with this thing without getting it caught everywhere?" Kitty grumbled as her tail waved back and forth, knocking over a few items. "Whoa!"
"These implements do appear to have minds of their own," Hank said as his long blue tail knocked more things over. "Oops. ALISON!"
"Sorry," Alison had a shining peacock tail. "Can't seem to control the light show here!"
"I thought only male peacocks had tails like that," Angelica said. She had a red bird like tail as well.
"Apparently the tails are a reflection of our personalities as well as our powers," Hank mused.
"THEN WHY THE HELL IS MINE SO SMALL?" John shouted.
"Oh give it a rest will you Thunderbird?" Scott snapped.
"Yeah you can have mine!" Fred snapped as he tried to move. "Whoa! Look out!"
"Yikes!" Roberto shouted. He had a fire tail as well. "Watch it! YEOW!" He backed into Ray's spark tail. "You did that on purpose!"
"Hey you backed into me, dummy!" Ray snapped.
"AGGH! Amara! You just set the table on fire with your tail!" Kitty yelped.
"Sorry!" Amara backed away. Her tail set a vase with flowers on fire. "Not again!"
"Hey look what mine can do!" Tabitha waved her cattail around. However small energy bombs came out of the tip. "Neat!"
"HIT THE DECK!" Scott shouted.
With a boom the entire table full of food blew up. "Sorry! My bad!" Tabitha apologized.
"Well at least we don't have to worry about anyone eating any more cookies," Lance looked at the mess. "Or anything else for that matter."
"This is really bizarre," Rogue groaned. "Even for us!"
"I wonder," Remy thought as he took off his glove. "If your tail has your powers."
"Get away from me!" Rogue jerked away.
"Oh come on Cherie!" Remy began to chase her. "I just wanna try something!"
"Try it an you're dead!" Rogue ran off.
"Tail tag! Tail tag!" Trinity ran around with mermaid like tails.
"Cool!" Jamie ran with dog like tails on his clones as well. "You're it!"
"Even the squirt has a bigger tail than I do!" John shouted. "OW! Spyder!"
"Sorry!" Spyder had a long gray electric tail. "Still can't get the hang of this!"
"Somebody help us please! Our tails are kind of stuck," Jesse said. He had a long black tail that was entwined in a knot with Peter's long metallic tail and Paige's cattail.
"Charles…" Logan growled. "New rule! No more parties!"
"Now Logan I realize this is a bit…unsettling," Xavier held up his hands. "But let's use this as an opportunity."
"YEOW!" Roberto screamed. "YOUR TAIL ZAPPED ME!"
"WELL YOUR TAIL NEARLY SET ME ON FIRE!" Ray shouted.
"Hey my tail can freeze stuff!" Bobby shouted.
"Bobby cut it…YEOWWW!" Scott slipped on a patch of ice.
"Somebody get out the fire extinguishers!" Hank yelled. "YEOW! ALISON! THAT'S TOO BRIGHT!"
"Sorry!" Alison apologized.
"Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!" Arcade laughed as he bounced around.
"BOOM BOOM!" Sam shouted.
"That was an accident!" Tabitha shouted. "Besides that wall could use a window anyway."
"An opportunity for what?" Logan asked. "To add on to our repair bills?"
"No, to be more… empathic," Xavier said carefully. "Now we all understand what it's like for Kurt or any other mutant with physical differences."
"YEOW! THAT HURTS!" Scott shouted.
"Not to mention what happens if you're not careful around doors," Kurt laughed.
"Barney! Stop biting my tail!" Hank shouted. Barney has his little beak clamped on Hank's tail. "I'm starting to miss the baseball bat!"
"Thank goodness there aren't any rocking chairs around here," Vi grumbled.
"OW! WHO STEPPED ON MY TAIL?" Benny shouted.
"Oh Benny was that your tail?" Dr. Strange asked. "I am so sorry. It's just so hard for me to walk without accidentally stepping on it."
"YEOW! DOC!" Benny yelped.
"Oops," Dr. Strange grinned. "It appears I did it again."
"Blob! Watch that tail!" Lance shouted. Soon he and Sam were flying across the room.
"Sorry!" Fred shouted.
"Okay so that wall will have two windows now," Scott sighed.
"Come on Rogue! I just wanna see if your tail has your…" Remy managed to touch it only to get zapped. "Powers…" He passed out.
"Well that answers that question," Rogue groaned. Her tail accidentally touched Tabitha. "Oops! Sorry!" Then Rogue's tail started to charge up. "Uh oh…"
"HIT THE DECK!" Logan roared as everyone dashed for cover.
"Well…We really didn't need that wall anyway," Hank sighed. "OW! Barney! Go bite Uncle Thunderbird's tail!"
"What tail?" John snapped. "Why did I get a tiny little stump of a tail? ANYBODY MAKES ONE CRACK THEY'RE GOING THROUGH THE OTHER WALL!"
"Hey! Paws off my tail!" Pietro shouted at Claudius who was tugging on his tail. "My tail is not a toy!"
"YEOW!" Kitty shouted. "Lina!"
"Sorry!" Lina said. "That must really sting huh?"
"Yeah like…" Kitty rubbed her behind. "Lina…There's not like…Poison in that tail is there?"
"I don't know," Lina said.
"I hope not," Rogue winced. "But whatever it is it's sure making your butt swell Kitty." Indeed a large swelling was emerging from Kitty's posterior.
"MEDIC! SOMEBODY CALL 911!" Kitty screamed.
"Looks like you have a minor allergic reaction," Jean said.
"You call that minor?" Spyder asked. "Her butt is almost as big as Blob's!"
"WAAHHHH!" Kitty started to bawl.
"Kitty! Don't cry Kitty! It's not that bad!" Peter tried to comfort her.
"Yes it is," Spyder remarked.
"WAHHHHH!" Kitty screamed.
"Thanks a lot Spyder!" Lance snapped.
"Well it's her own fault this happened!" Rogue snapped.
"Yeah pardon us for not being sympathetic!" Wanda agreed.
"Come on Kitty," Hank put his hand on her shoulder and steered her towards the infirmary. "We'll get something to put on it!"
"I'll come with you!" Lance said.
"No me!" Peter snapped.
"This is so humiliating!" Kitty moaned as she left the room with Hank.
"This night is getting better and better!" Kurt laughed.
"Yeah I think this is the best Halloween we ever had yo!" Todd laughed.
"Shipwreck get your tail out from under my dress!" Ororo shouted, slapping it away.
"Oh yeah well look where your tail is sister!" Shipwreck challenged. Ororo's tail was wrapped around his leg.
"NO!" Ororo shouted, yanking on her tail. "BAD TAIL! BAD TAIL!"
"Hey! Your tail has good taste," Shipwreck grinned.
"No, it doesn't!" Ororo snapped. "Bad tail!"
"Your eyes say no," Shipwreck grinned as her tail clung onto his leg. "But your tail says…WHOA! Getting a little frisky aren't we?"
"OH GOD STOP THAT!" Ororo screamed. "Where the hell is a carving knife when you need one?"
"I gotta admit this is fun," Althea grinned as she wrapped her tail around Todd's.
"Oh yeah," Todd blinked. "Hey I just got a great idea! There's a few cookies left over there! What's say we put them to good use?"
"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Kurt grinned.
"Yeah," Todd snickered.
"I'm in!" Kurt said.
"Me too!" Lance said.
"Normally I'd say no, but tonight is an exception," Scott gathered up a few cookies from the floor. "Let's pass the pain around!"
"I don't need to be a telepath to know what they're up to," Logan sighed as the boys used the teleportation watches to carry out their prank. "You think we should stop them?"
"No," Xavier grinned. "It is Halloween after all. I suppose a few harmless tricks are required this evening."
An hour later in Washington DC….
"I HAVE A MONKEY TAIL ON MY BUTT!" Senator Kelly screamed. "AGGGHH! WHAT DID THOSE MUTANTS DO TO ME?"
And at FOH Headquarters, things were quite hectic at a meeting that night.
"MUTANTS! YOU DID THIS TO ME MOMMY! I JUST KNOW IT!" Graydon Creed shouted as a lizard tail protruded through his behind.
"Oh god! I'm sorry I cheated on my wife and all that other stuff!" An FOH member screamed in reaction to his tail.
"WHY DO I HAVE A BABOON BUTT AND TAIL?" Duncan Matthews shouted. "HELP!"