This story takes place after Paraguay, after Harm return's to JAG, but before Mattie becomes his ward. Alright as promised here is the second inspired story of the week. It is based on a song that I recently heard on the radio and makes me cry every time I hear it, so if you are the least bit sentimental or emotional have a tissue on hand just in case. I'm currently writing Chapter 3 right now for my Operation story, it might be kind of short because logistics need to be dealt with, but the Halloween scenes will be long probably a two parter to make up for it. Alright enough of my talking you didn't click on the link to hear me going on you want to read the story so without further Adieu here it is...

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

1747 ZULU

Harm sat at his desk in his apartment working on paperwork he brought home to prepare for court in the morning.

Man, it's going to be another late night

He looked up from the files and rubbed his exhausted eyes, got up from his chair and walked over to the fridge to get a bottle of water. He stood in his kitchen for a minute before walking over to his stereo, he turned it on and a local radio station came on before he could pick out a CD, he heard the DJ come on and say, "...and that was 3 Doors Down "Here Without You". Our next song is premiering tonight, it isn't availably in the stores yet, but it is definitely a winner! It is a duet between hip hop artist Nelly and country sensation Tim McGraw. Interesting combination I know, but the song is great so here it is "Over and Over Again'"

Harm was about to pop in a CD when he paused, startled by the first three lines of the song:

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

And I can't keep picturing you with him

My God it's me. This song is saying exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. Clay and Mac...I could kill him it hurts so bad, but I know it's partly my fault and partly Mac's

He decided to let the song go on, took another sip of water and walked back towards his desk just listening to the song that hit home so well. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a picture frame. It was of he and Mac in Afghanistan, he made an extra copy so he could have her with him at work and home. The song continued...

And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause it's all in my head

I think about it over and over again

I replay it over and over again

And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it

Nooo

I can't wait to see you

Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes

That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes

And it's a shame that we got to spend our time

Being mad about the same things

Holy Crap! This song is hitting way too close to my heart. I can't stop replaying Paraguay in my head it is like a horrible horror film reeling in my head...Her kissing Clay...her in the tub...her saying 'never'...and watching her comfort Clay in the hospital. I live each day just to go to work every morning to see your beautiful face even if you're mad at me or never want an us. The look in her eyes when he left to go flying...so full of tears...so full of love, why couldn't I see it before! I would give my wings just to have you look at me again with those beautiful chocolate brown eyes the way you did when I left...

Over and over again

About the same things

Over and over again

Ohh

But I think she's leaving

Ohh man she's leaving

I don't know what else to do

I can't go on not loving you

I should have run after her that day she came to my apartment to say goodbye before she left to Paraguay, told her I love her so much and I want her in my life forever, but I didn't and now I'm sitting alone in a cold dark apartment crying over a woman because of a song!

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

And I can't keep picturing you with him

And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

I replay it over and over again yeah

And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it

Nooo

I remember the day you left

I remember the last breath you took right in front of me

When you said that you would leave

I was too damn stubborn to try and stop you or say anything

But I can see clearly now

And this choice I made keep playing in my head

Over and over again

Playing in my head

Over and over again

Ohh

I think she's leaving

Ooh man she's leaving

I don't know what else to do

I can't go on not loving you

Dammit, I should have run after her, that is what she wanted, she wanted me to show my love and then say the words 'I love you, Sarah'. Why is it so easy for me to say them now, but when it comes down to it I can't get them out of my mouth. Well she choose her man, Clay is the one she wants and as long as he makes her happy then I guess that should be enough.....But it's not! I need to tell her how I feel and after I do and she still chooses Clay well then I'll live with it, but not here not in D.C. it's to close and I'd never be able to get over her. He got out of his chair and went to his bedroom to find something to wear.

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

And I can't keep picturing you with him

And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

And I can't take it I can't shake it

Nooo

Now that I've realized that I'm going down

From all this pain you've out me through

Everytime I close my eyes I like it down

I can't go on not loving you

"Dammit what should I wear!" Then it hit him...dress whites, gold wings, and roses to remind her of the garden in which they met. Good thing I just got them back from the cleaners, and their mine not some strippers. He said laughing a bit at that memory.

The song was almost over, Harm was still listening intently to the lyrics as he changed into the whites and got ready to profess his love to the woman to whom he was so in love with.

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

And I can't keep picturing you with him

And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over an over again

I replay it over and over again

And I can't shake it

Noo

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over and over again

And I can't keep picturing you with him

And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head

I think about it over an over again

I replay it over and over again

And I can't shake it

Noo

Over and Over again

Over and Over again

Cause its all in my head

The song had concluded and was moving onto the next artist. Harm grabbed his cover and keys, turned off the stereo, Thanks boys, I will be sure to by your CD regardless if this works or not because you've helped me to see the light. He turned off the light to his apartment, locked the door and headed down to his Lexus.

Back in his apartment the phone began to ring

Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...the answering machine picked up. "Commander Rabb, if you're there please pick up the phone...This is Lt. Amelia Wilson from Bethesda Hospital. We have a Lt. Colonel Mackenzie here in the Emergency Room and you are listed as her emergency contact. She's been beat up pretty bad, if you get this message please come as soon as possible she's asking for you."

Meanwhile Harm stopped at a local florist shop and drove to Georgetown to Mac's apartment. He saw the light in her apartment was off, but her car was outside. Maybe she is asleep already. He looked at the clock in his car, it read 8:30. Mac doesn't go to bed that early. He decided to go up anyways, he knocked several times on her door then decided to use the key she had given him, worried that something might be wrong. He opened the door and flicked on the light. There were clothes on the floor and things had been knocked over. Oh my God she must be...with Clay right now...that's why the lights were off. Shocked, stunned, disappointed, and hurt he quickly turned off the light, closed the door and locked it. He quickly returned to his car to drive home. Fine, if that is how it is going to be, then I can move on too. He tossed the flowers out the window and drove to McMurphy's instead of home he need a drink.

Back at Harm's apartment the answering machine blinked showing 8 messages one from Bud and Harriet, one from the Admiral, one from Sturgis, and the rest from the hospital saying that she was asking for him before they took her into surgery. Sturgis decided to go over to Harm's apartment to find him, he knocked on the door several times but no response. Turner left the building and noticed that Harm's car was missing, and decided to try his cell again. This time it rang and a drunk Harm answered.

"Harm...Harm, where are you?" Sturgis could hear what sound like bar noise in the background, but couldn't figure out where exactly he was.

"Hey Strug, why don't you come down here and let me by you a drink."

"Harm, Mac..."

Harm cut him off before he could continue his thought.

"I got to go Turner there is a really cute blond winking at me at the end of the bar, good thing I'm in whites and gold wings tonight, maybe tonight won't be so bad after all."

"Harm, no where are you?"

Harm closed his cell phone and turned it off.

What the hell has gotten into him, and why is he in Dress Whites and why didn't he want to hear about Mac. He doesn't know...Well I better go find him and save him from making the biggest mistake in his life, especially while the woman he loves is about to go into surgery.

Turner jumped into his car and started to drive around to bars near Harm's place looking for his Lexus in the parking lots, but could find him. Where the hell could he be?

Author's note: Okay so this wasn't how I originally planned on ending this chapter, but it kind of just took on a mind of its own. I hope you liked it, or at least liked the song. I didn't want Harm to sound like such a jerk in this piece, but heartbroken people often do things out of character. Please review and let me know if you want a chapter 2 or not.