Sometimes its More Fun the Muggle Way
Okay kiddies OUT!
NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN!
this is a co-creation between me and my friend, Sammy Solo after we went to a SADD Costume Party and a girl who was dressed up in a Gryffindor Quidditch Costume well... you'll find out...
"Ahh, come on Oliver, you know you want to," Fred pleaded.
"Yeah, we DID win the Quidditch Cup already, we deserve a party," George added wheedling the apprehensive Captain.
"It will be fun," Fred said his eyes glinting madly.
"Why do I have the feeling I won't like your definition of fun?" Oliver asked skeptically.
"PLEASE!" the twins pleaded in unison.
"No," Oliver answered.
"Alright, I guess we'll just have to go tell a certain Miss Bell some horribly embarrassing facts about our captain..."
"Like he likes to sing in the shower," Fred said going off George's prompt.
"While he's doing something questionable," George added gleefully.
"FINE!" Oliver said in a panic.
"Wicked!" the twins chorused.
"Don't you worry about a thing, capt'n, we'll deal with everything. Just spread the word to the quidditch team," George said.
"Why do I have the feeling I'm going to regret this?" Oliver asked as the twins walked away.
The next day the five members of the Quidditch team were in the locker room waiting for Fred and George to show up, and show up they did, with a full bag and a couple of broomsticks.
"Hello all..." Fred said wickedly.
"Welcome to our first annual 'Safe Flying' party," George finished.
"We just won the quidditch cup guys, I think we know how to fly," Katie broke in.
"Yeah, I thought this was going to be a party," Angelina said.
Meanwhile, Oliver sighed in relief. So far there was no alcohol, nothing illegal...maybe he was home free.
"Oh no, not THAT type of flying" her boyfriend said.
"Dad sent us what he thought was a bunch of muggle balloons," his brother said.
"Oh no... please no..." Harry whispered in horror seeing precisely where they were going. "No... no... no..."
"What are those?" Katie asked.
"Oh, they're muggle products all right," Angelina said. "But they certainly aren't balloons."
"These," Fred said, holding up the package. "Are condoms. And we're here to give your first lesson on proper usage."
"I'm a bit young for this," Harry interrupted. "Can I go?"
"No, you'll need to know this some day too!" George said wickedly.
"Especially if Ron has his way and you end up with Ginny," Fred added.
"Mum wouldn't be a bit happy if you knocked up her little girl," George continued.
"Not to mention we like to see you squirm."
Harry blushed the color of the twins' hair. Satisfied, the two troublemakers continued.
"Now, the first step is to make sure they aren't expired." Fred pulled one of the squares out of the box and squinted at it. "Nope, still good. Now, you have your broomstick..." He grabbed one of props he had brought and held it tightly.
"Oh god no, this is not happening," Harry muttered into his hand keeping his eyes shut. Maybe he'd be able to escape. He was sitting in the back.
He slowly edged towards the door when George said "Petrificus Totalus"
'Damn,' Harry thought sourly falling over.
"We told you you couldn't leave," Fred said, shaking his head. "Now you have to help." George went to the back and grabbed Harry, dragging him to the front. He reversed the spell.
"To protect our younger sister, Harry's going to be the demonstrator!"
Next thing he knew, Harry had a condom in one hand and a broomstick in the other.
"Aw, come on guys," Angelina said coming to Harry's rescue. "He's only thirteen."
"Yeah, let him go," Alicia added getting up to put her arm around George "You don't really want to torture him do you?"
Angelina came up to Fred and put her hand on his shoulder, "Do you really want to torture the poor kid like this?"
Fred and George looked at each other then said in unison, though slightly high, "Fine Harry, you can go."
"Thank Merlin," Harry said zooming out of the room after dropping the broomstick and condom. "I'm never going to look at flying the same way again."
"Alright, for us non-cowards here, let's really get this going.
"Angelina, would you hold my broomstick?" Fred asked. Angelina giggled and blushed, but held the proffered flying instrument. "Thanks, Angel," Fred said with a wink. "Now, first rule: never open it with your teeth. You don't want a hole, now do you?"
"Not at all," his twin said.
"Right you are. Pull here," he demonstrated, and he was suddenly holding a small circle in his hand. "Right. Now that you have the condom, make sure the broomstick is in place, and slide the condom all the way down. Be sure to leave a small tip at the top, and now you are flying safely."
Oliver, who had been sitting staring at the display in shock, finally found it in himself to blink quite loudly for a blink. "You wanted to have a party for this? When there are charms and potions that do the same bloody thing?"
"I dunno, I thought it was kinda fun," Katie said leaning casually against Oliver.
"Besides, when you're dating a muggle-born, it helps to know these things," Fred said with another wink at Angelina.
"And aren't you proud of us?" George asked. "We haven't blown anything up!"
"Yet," Oliver murmured under his breath.
"Actually, Fred," Angelina said smiling. "I left something in Binns's classroom; do you want to come with me to find it?"
"Sure," Fred said smartly, hooked his arm around hers and marched off with her, after discretely putting some condoms in his pocket.
"Silly me!" Alicia added hitting herself on the head. "I forgot something for Astronomy! George, be a dear and escort me please."
"Yes my Lady," George said bowing, and led her away by the elbow, copying his twin's behavior.
"They left us alone," Oliver blinked. "Without blowing anything up."
"Yes, but I didn't get to try that yet, maybe we should try, you know, to be safe and all," Katie said, her eyes dancing.
"Over there is the bloody broom," Oliver pointed.
Katie followed the rules the twins set out and then said, "Oliver, why don't you try it now?"
"I don't know," Oliver said. "I think I'll stick to the potions and charms."
"Oh, but sometimes it's more fun to do things the muggle way," Katie said her eyes dancing as she went up to the stunned captain and kissed him deeply.
A while later, Oliver could only think of one thing to say. "You're right; sometimes it is more fun to do things the Muggle way."
(SADD on this campus advicates not only not drinking and driving but also safe sex)
Remember to check out both my other stories and Sammy Solo's other stories as well!
Come on review! You know you want to!