A/N: Ok, so here's a quick prologue for "Bumblebee," the sequel to "This Tear." It took me a while because I've been really struggling with stuff at school lately (and I was sick for weeks), but it's finally here. It's really dark, but I promise the whole story won't be this dark. It's kind of just something to set the atmosphere for you. The first chapter is pretty much finished, but I want to start the second one before I get the first one out so I get a jump on things so as not to make you guys have huge gaps of nothing lol. So here's the first bit, enjoy :)
He had sworn to love her forever.
Things had been so wonderful after her recovery and reinstatement to the CIA. With SD-6 gone and her health back to normal, things had seemed truly amazing. She was finally free to be with Vaughn, a privilege they both took advantage of immensely. They'd both been given a second chance and the last thing they wanted to do was waste it. Not after all they'd been through. Their time together bordered on bliss and Sydney could never remember being so completely happy and satisfied with her life.
That's not to say that things were perfect. It was a life, of course, not a fairytale. Sloane had remained free despite their many attempts to track him down and bring him into custody. Emily's death had hit her particularly hard after having so recently reconnected with her. It was like losing a mother all over again. A couple of weeks following Sydney's recovery, Francie had become somewhat distant with her and she couldn't help but wonder if Francie was finally dealing with anger she may have stored up after finding out about Sydney's deception. Her mother's escape from custody had not been easy, leaving Sydney to wonder if her relationship with her mother had been built entirely upon lies. When Will, one of the few constants in her life, had been accused of murdering Diane and being the second double, Sydney began to feel lost again for the first time since her recovery.
But through everything, she had Vaughn.
He was her rock, her tether to sanity. Every time she felt like her life was spinning out of control and her happiness was slipping through her fingers, he was there to remind her of how much she had to be grateful for. Even after she doubted his loyalty when he was under investigation, he was the light at the end of the tunnel. It was after that horrible experience that she realized everything she ever needed in life was right in front of her. And after Will had been cleared, Vaughn had outdone himself once again by planning their weekend together in Santa Barbara. Even after all that had gone wrong lately, he was there to make everything better again. She had a feeling that this weekend together would be a true turning point in their relationship. They were already practically living together and had conquered those three little words long ago. If all went well, maybe it would now be time to move onto more serious things, to really start their life together. After all they'd been through in the last year, they certainly deserved a little happiness and normalcy for once in their lives. Sydney had a feeling she was finally about to get it.
And then she disappeared.
Just like that, she passed out in her bedroom and woke up in the middle of Hong Kong with no memory of anything in between. The time passed as if it were one night and part of her held the naive hope that that's all it had been. She could almost convince herself it was possible, until she noticed the scar. And suddenly, she felt it all over again. She felt her sanity coming undone, her hope for happiness slipping through her fingers. But like always, he was there. In an instant, she was in his arms. She could already feel herself begin to heal. Whatever he was going to tell her, she knew it would be all right. She had him, that was all that mattered. He was all she needed.
She saw the ring.
That's what sent her life spinning out of control all over again. And then he dropped the next bombshell. Two years. She'd been gone for two years. Presumed dead. The whole world, everyone in her life, had moved on without her. What had been one night to her had been two years for everyone else. She couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it was true. So she convinced herself of the only other thing she could: that the person in front of her wasn't really Vaughn. Vaughn would never do this to her. If two years truly had passed, he would've waited for her. He hadn't moved on when he thought she was going to die of cancer and he wouldn't have moved on now.
She fought and she ran away from everything. Maybe if she ran far enough, fast enough, the truth would never catch up to her. She knew she was being irrational, but everything was spinning upside down. She didn't know what else to do. But, like always, he caught up to her. The dart hit her shoulder and she knew before she even turned around that it was him. But it couldn't really be. He wouldn't betray her like this, she couldn't believe it. She begged him to stay away as she sank to the ground. But before she hit the concrete, he caught her. He held her in his arms with the same tenderness she'd sought comfort in countless times before. As she faded into the darkness, she realized she'd been wrong. It was Vaughn. He'd gone on without her. She'd expected as much from him when she believed cancer was going to claim her life, but now, after all they'd overcome, it seemed impossible... that she'd simply wake up one day and he'd no longer be hers.
She woke up in Los Angeles where Dixon confirmed her worst fears: that everything was true. And then everything happened as if it were a dream: seeing her father in prison, running away in Paris, getting her father back, watching that video, moving into her new apartment, seeing Vaughn, having him return to the agency, meeting his wife, everything. Nothing seemed real anymore. Things with Vaughn had been awkward and strained at best until she stabbed him. Oddly, that seemed to be the one thing that helped them start to get over their issues and act like normal people around each other again. It was still awkward and they were nowhere near the comfort level that they used to be with each other, even before her diagnosis, but things were improving. When she weaved the dance-floor to find Lang and Vaughn joked to her through her earpiece, she could almost convince herself that this nightmare had never happened. And then she saw Allison Dorren and once again, felt her world turn upside down.
The truth was, she was lonely. For the first time in more years than she could remember, she was truly alone. Her closest friends were gone, her boyfriend was married to someone else, she had no one. Weiss was a comfort and she loved him for all that he did for her, but it wasn't the same. It would never the same, and she was well aware of that. Her apartment overwhelmed her and no matter what she did, it never felt like home. She always felt like a stranger when she stepped inside. The nights were the worst. She didn't sleep much anymore. Some nights she would force herself to stay awake, the fear of waking up in another strange place with no memory of the last two years consuming her. She knew it was irrational and perhaps a little crazy, but she couldn't stop it. The nights when she did force herself to sleep, there were nightmares. Only recently had they started to center around her missing time. Before, they were always of her past. She dreamt of movie nights with Will and Francie or being wrapped in Vaughn's arms as they talked late into the night. And always, they would disappear like sand in the wind. And she would find herself standing alone... in nothingness. She would start to tremble and scream their names, but nothing ever happened. And then she'd wake up. The tears would greet her then, and she'd cry herself to sleep again. She knew, eventually, she'd have to see a doctor and get sleeping pills. Otherwise, her work would begin to suffer, but she couldn't bring herself to do that just yet.
In her life, she'd overcome more obstacles than a woman could even imagine facing. She'd overcome the "death" of her mother and estrangement of her father when she was only a child. She'd coped with the stress and hardships of being recruited to SD-6 and had advanced in training faster than any agent before her. She'd managed to heal and fight back after Danny's death. She'd somehow recovered after murdering Noah. She'd gathered enough strength to face her mother again after more than twenty years, years that had, unbeknownst to her, been filled with lies and betrayal. She'd battled a cancerous brain tumor and, thanks to Rambaldi's fluid, had beaten it. Yet, even after all she'd overcome in the past, she couldn't seem to handle what was happening to her now. She couldn't manage to get past the fact that her whole life had been pulled out from under her and given back only in fragments.
And so, there were cold, horrible moments in those endless nights where she lay awake and had such dark thoughts that they frightened even her. Sometimes she longed for the suffering to end. Not that she contemplated killing herself... she knew she could never bring herself to do that. But in those darkest moments, in her most depressed state- the very state Vaughn had once told her to call him when she reached- she couldn't help but wish something she couldn't have imagined even thinking two years ago.
She wished the cancer had killed her.