Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters although I think we all wish we did.
AN: Yes, this is yaoi. If you don't know what that is then please look it up and decide whether it's for you, yadda yadda yadda. There is lemon in a later chapter and strong language fairly infrequently so it's rated R to be safe. I'll let you know when the chapter comes up it you'd rather not read it. For reference, it's set about five years after Endless Waltz but contains no spoilers other than the fact that the characters mentioned are alive! This is based on a dream I had that I couldn't get out of my head. I'll put the other chapters up if I get any positive responses. Hope you enjoy! R&R! Let the games begin!
The sky was pouring rain like a small boy with a bottle of ketchup. It was perfect: A perfect setting for the day before that special day. All above was overcast and grey, much like his mood, and a winter-freeze was settling in. He turned up the collar on his favourite coat, black and simple, to keep out the chill and tried to ignore the dampness of his trouser legs. He watched the rain drip off his auburn-brown hair as he sat on the wall in the car park, ignoring the cries of excitement and laughter coming from the building on his left. He had been there for over half an hour and could still not bring himself to face their enthusiasm for what was to be the worst day of his life. Nothing would have persuaded him to go in, but something was stopping him from leaving.
He dug his nails into his palm and screwed his eyes shut as he felt the familiar sensation of the tightening at his throat, caused by no hand, and the sting at the back of his nose. He sniffed once and tilted his head back at the sky, cold salt water mixing with warm on his face.
"What are you doing?" Came a familiar voice, in tones of mild amusement.
Duo Maxwell almost fell from his perch on the concrete wall.
"A-ah, not much." he thanked God for the rain and the chill to hide otherwise obvious symptoms of distress as he met the gaze of the man he adored. He forced a smile.
"You've been out here doing nothing for forty minutes," The man said pointedly, "We're missing you inside."
I'm missing you inside.
"If you knew I was here why didn't you come out earlier?" Duo replied, raising an eyebrow. Heero looked to the side, slightly irritated. Duo knew exactly why he hadn't seen him but he couldn't resist the cruel dig. He wanted to study the expression on his face. I want to know if it's tearing him up inside as well.
"Would you rather I left then?" He growled, not looking back.
Apparently so, Duo thought as Heero answered his mental question. Duo grinned darkly and ignored Heero's question in turn.
"I'm just waiting for the others to turn up."
He knew Heero knew they weren't due for another hour or so and visa versa. A sudden look of fear passed across Heero's face for only an instant.
"I can't do this without you."
"You should have thought of that before." Duo muttered, twisting his meaning viciously.
"Why are you doing this to me?!" He hissed vehemently.
"The same goes to you!" Duo cried back and he winced at the volume of his own voice, he angrily noted a nervous glance at the nearby building.
Heero visibly calmed himself down and his next sentence was strenuously low, "Just come in will you? I'd appreciate it if you would."
Duo hesitated, "No. I'm sorry, I just can't."
"Don't give me that crap, Duo!"
He winced, eyes stinging. A long silence followed in which they heard laughter from the building.
"Fine. I'll leave. There's no point in me being here." He retorted, straining to keep his voice steady and moved to slide off the wall. A hand grabbed his wrist as he hit the ground and turned to walk away, avoiding eye contact.
"Please..." Heero's voice choked and Duo was forced to look despairingly at the man pulling him back, "Please... don't leave me..."
Anger boiled inside Duo like lava waiting to flow. He swung at the other man's face with his free hand, the sudden burning rage taking control. It collided with a sickening thud and Heero recoiled but did not let go of his grip on Duo's arm.
"You bastard! You absolute bastard!" Duo yelled, ignoring the volume of his voice and the look on Heero's face, "Don't you dare tell me to stay! You didn't fucking well stay when I asked you to, did you?! I can't believe how selfish you are. LET GO OF ME!!!"
Duo tried to wriggle free of Heero's vice-like grip on his wrist.
"Please, I'm sorry..." Heero croaked, "I'm so..."
"Stop feeding me this shit, Yuy! I don't have to take it anymore. You made the decision and now you have to go through with it! You made the bed, now lie in it!" Tears fell again from Duo's eyes, "Ask one of the other's to be your best-man... Don't expect to see me tomorrow..." He pulled his arm from Heero's loosened grip, "Don't expect to see me ever again!"
Duo pulled his coat around him, so hard he could hardly breathe, tears cascaded down his face as he walked feverishly from the one thing in his life he was ever really living for. The only one he was ever really himself with. The one he would lie his life down for.
All too quickly he was pulled back again and against the wall. A murderous look glinted in Heero's deep ocean-blue eyes, as wet as the ocean itself. He was so close; Duo could smell the familiar cologne, feel the warmth of his rapid breathing icy on his tears and he sobbed in agony, the pain, and at the emptiness inside his chest. Heero ran a hand across the tears, brushing them away as his own slid freely across his perfect skin. Duo lifted his chin then hesitated.
"You made the bed that I lay in." Heero whispered as another tear ran down. He met Duo's lips just inches from his own, sliding his hand behind his neck, pulling him further in, deepening the kiss and tasting each other's tears, still falling freely. Duo clung at the shirt he had lent him, feeling the hopelessness of their love in every surge. Knowing that Heero would never desert his objective: His marriage to Relena Darlian.
I hate you, he thought, I can't live without you. I hate you. I hate that I can't.
He drew away and sobbed into Heero's chest, his own shirt. Heero's arms wrapped around him and he placed his chin on his head. The rain still poured.
"Duo... I still love you."