The Pumpkin Juice Incident
Seventh year, at the Halloween feast,
As an orange moon rose in the east,
The bats squeaked and fluttered,
The candles all sputtered,
When Malfoy let out a wild shriek!
"Oh, my god," he choked out, quite vexed.
"I've been poisoned!" he cried. "I've been hexed!
"Pumpkin juice . . . was a potion!"
He wailed with emotion.
"And it's horribly altered my sex!"
Every head in the room turned to stare.
Malfoy stood, knocking over his chair.
A goblet was dropped.
A few hearts almost stopped
At the sight of the girl who stood there.
She was a blonde and willowy beauty,
A stunning, silver-eyed cutie,
Even the scowl on her face
Had a certain rare grace,
Though her demeanor was atrociously snooty.
"Who did this!" she hissed. "Who would dare?!"
Gryffindor! She turned with a glare.
"You bastard, Potter!
You damn bloody rotter!
If I find out you did this, I swear – "
"My potion skills are abominable,"
Said Harry. "So that's clearly impossible."
He grinned, gave a shrug,
And lifted his mug,
In a toast to the person responsible.
Amidst snickers and giggles and quips,
Harry raised his own cup to his lips.
But the juice going down
Made him gag, made him frown,
And caused his guts to do flips.
In seconds he felt himself change.
Felt body parts shift, rearrange.
He stood, tried to yell,
"My god, what the hell!?"
But his voice came out high-pitched and strange.
A lovely, raven-haired maid,
With eyes of purest green jade,
Pushed back a curl,
Gasped, "Shit, I'm a girl!"
And sat down again, deeply dismayed.
Pandemonium broke out in the hall.
Several girls were starting to bawl.
Loud questions were raised,
The professors looked dazed.
Pumpkin juice was avoided by all.
"Geez, Harry," wheezed Ron when he saw,
"You look gorgeous," whispered Seamus in awe,
Hermione's gaze snapped
To where Harry's shirt gapped.
She said, "I think you'd better borrow a bra!"
Dumbledore stood and lifted one hand.
Silence fell at his wordless command.
He nodded to Draco
And to Harry. Said "Go!
To my office right now, understand?"
The girls ran as if they'd been whipped,
Each thought her whole future'd been gypped.
As they made their escape,
Professor Severus Snape,
Inspected the juice that they'd sipped.
Snape gave Malfoy's juice a quick sniff,
He was careful to inhale a mere whiff.
Said, "I can tell by the smell,
It's a Hidden-Love spell."
And his mouth went all tight-lipped and stiff.
"Ah, I see," Albus pensively spoke,
He gave his white beard a long stroke.
Said Snape, "I've a hunch,
Just these two goblets were touched.
This was someone's idea of a joke."
In the Headmaster's office, the tension
Was so thick it defied comprehension.
When Albus walked in,
Both girls' faces were grim,
Their matched expressions full of dread apprehension.
Albus gazed at each desperate young miss.
Said, "The spell can be broken like this:
A crush you've concealed
Must now be revealed.
You must confess to your love with a kiss."
"Oh, my god," whispered Harry wide-eyed.
She sank down in a chair mortified.
Draco turned pale
At this terrible tale,
Her horror could not be disguised.
As Headmaster, Albus was known
For discerning many secrets unshown.
He gave them a smile
That was riddled with guile,
And said, "Perhaps I should leave you alone."
In the silence after Dumbledore's departure,
They engaged in much anguished conjecture.
Was this risky exposure
Of such a frightful disclosure
Really worse than a feminine future?
It seemed they would be there all night,
Wrapped up in this miserable plight.
Harry stifled a moan.
Draco bit back a groan.
The suspense smoldered, prepared to ignite.
Draco stood, her thoughts in a whirl,
She reached out to touch a black curl.
"Bloody hell," whispered she,
Her voice trembling, off-key,
"You know you look . . . not too bad . . . for a girl."
Harry rose to her feet in a panic.
Her pulse was doing something volcanic.
She felt her face flush
To a bright crimson blush,
Draco's gaze was so intensely galvanic.
Draco's arms went around Harry's hips.
Harry's heart beat in triple time skips.
Draco said, "Trick-or-Treat,"
In a hushed tone so sweet,
Then kissed Harry full on the lips.
It lasted only a moment or two,
But the change came exactly on cue.
Draco's manhood restored,
"By god, Potter," he swore,
"If you tell anyone this, I will kill you."
Harry kissed Draco hard, then said, "Fine."
He felt the gear of his gender redefine.
"You little ferret," he scoffed.
"I'll keep your secret." He coughed.
"Just as long as you agree to keep mine."
At breakfast, Snape checked everyone's drink.
Harry and Draco had their stories in sync.
How with methods obscure,
Dumbledore'd managed the cure.
No one saw Pansy give Hermione a wink.