Have you ever started a story with one plot in mind but then it runs away and evolves into something else? Well, this did.
Disclaimer: I do not (sadly) own the x-men.
Lying on his bed, Kurt Wagner, resident fuzzy elf of the Xavier mansion, was bored out of his furry skull. Sitting up finally, he pondered over what to do in order to ease himself from the insufferable boredom that even his beloved CD collection couldn't shake off.
Deciding that he could annoy someone, he was instantly coming up with his conspiracies towards the other members of the household. There was a long and silent moment where he thought through his old jokes, trying to see if any where worth working on.
Getting up and moving to his wardrobe, Kurt produced an exact duplicate of the clothes he already wore in the thought of making a dummy of himself and then getting someone to 'accidentally' torch it, or shred it, depending on who came first. Pausing suddenly, he realised just how sad it was that all his clothes were practically the same.
It reminded him of that film, The Fly, that he had watched the previous night in which the main character owned about a dozen shirts, a dozen trousers and the like, all identical.
Dropping the clothes as fast as he could, Kurt frantically searched for something different to wear and failed miserably as his only real variants were his pyjamas and the gifts he had received from certain members of the household. The best example was a baby pink t-shirt with black cats on it.
There was no way he was going to be seen in that.
Everyone must have thought he had gone mad as Kurt teleported about the mansion, looking in everyone's wardrobes and things such as their CD's and games. No one thought to stop him as, room after room; he came to the same conclusion.
No one in the mansion was normal.
That was normal in the loose sense of the word.
Scott had been the worst offender; he had five blue jumpers, four cream cargo trousers and six white-shirts, all of which were identical. All of his glasses were arranged in order as well. The only interesting articles in the wardrobe were similar to Kurt's, items that had been bought for the novelty but would never, ever be worn.
Oddly enough, there was a purple shirt with black cats on it.
It seemed that Kitty had had a hard time getting presents last Christmas.
Surprisingly, the person who had the highest originality score (based on unexpected items, CD's and number of different types of clothes) was actually Rogue. Though her CD collection had proved to be more or less expected, none of the album covers had anything other than black for the main colour.
It was all really depressing, but at least Kurt now knew what he was going to be occupying himself with for the next few weeks.
After getting an image change for himself, he was going to drag the rest of the mansion along with him...
It was odd, but comfortable. And the accessories were...interesting. After hours browsing the high street, Kurt had come into this store as a final resort and it was proving promising. The baggies where actually really good with the tail, and they didn't chaff his fur either like tighter clothes did.
But he was going to have to lose the green boxers.
That done, Kurt was suddenly overcome with a certain dilemma.
Just how many peircings could he get in his ears?
And what would look better, gold or silver with his fur?
"Oh ma gawd!" Rogue blinked in surprise, her black painted lips opening slightly before twisting into a warm smile as she poked Kurt in the chest with a gloved hand. "Ah like it, ma little brothers finally got a fashion sense."
Kurt looked at his clothing; he had been sneaking back into the x-mansion after his little shopping trip thinking it would be empty on such a warm day, except it seemed Rogue had stayed in.
She was grinning at him and waiting for an answer.
"It's good to see you smile." He grinned thinly as he flicked off his image inducer, earning a gasp from Rogue. She suddenly cuddled him. "Ow! Watch ze peircings."
"Oh, ah forgot." She stepped back and surveyed Kurt. He was wearing black baggy trousers, with pale blue trimming, slung low on his narrow hips with a chunky silver belt. Black leather fingerless gloves, a few studded bangles sat about his wrists and a few bands sat on his upper arms. He had six gold peircings in his left ear and one in his left eyebrow, there was also three on his tail somehow. To top it all off, he was wearing a black netted short sleeved top that clung to all his muscles.
The blue mutant smiled nervously and ran a hand through his long hair. "Do you think it's too much?"
"Nah, it suits ya. How did ya get yer tail pierced?"
"The guy vas tripping. He thought I vas yellow."
Rogue thought that over for a moment. "And he put gold in yer ears?" She shook her head at the very thought of such a heinous crime. "Come on, Kurt, let's go and show yer new look off tah the others – they're swimming in the lake."
The look hadn't gone down as well with the other mutants as it had done with Rogue. The general opinion being 'what on Earth have you done to yourself?'. Kitty in particular had gotten upset and started on about how everyone was picking on her.
"Cant I change a little?" Kurt shook his head at the dark looks.
"Well it can wait for a while, elf." Logan grunted as he rose to his feet. "We've got a danger room session with all your names on it."
There was a loud groan.
Kurt's new look had a bit of a set-back in his x-men uniform, the reason being it was his uniform and a uniform was a uniform. Though the piercings helped to make it look a little less regimental.
As everyone fell into the same, boring and usual roles, Scott being the leader, Jean being the second in command, he nearly fell into the role of joker but managed to stop himself making a crack at their mission. It went against the grain but he managed it.
This made Rogue look at her watch.
He cracked. "Same old mission again, zen?"
Logan looked at the control room then cringed. "Alright elf, for that we'll do a paintball exercise. Last team standing wins."
Rogue shook her head before moving over to Nightcrawler. "That was interesting and since we're never picked, why don't we go as a team?"
She took off a glove and grinned darkly and winked. "Why not?"
"Alright, announce your teams." Logan was looking bored, as usual, and annoyed, as usual. It probably didn't help that he was surrounded by eight Jamie's all dancing about happily.
"Scott, Kitty and I will be a team." Jean smiled.
"Ray, Amara and me." Rahne grinned, rubbing her paws together
"Bobby, Jamie and me." Cannonball nodded, looking doubtfully at the Jamie's who were still dancing about.
"And ah guess it's gonna be Kurt and me." With a smirk, Rogue moved over to the paint guns rack where she picked two up. "So, when do we all start?"
Everyone edged away in terror.
It was definitely a danger lesson to remember, the first thing Rogue did was to shoot down Jamie and, upon pretending to check if he was ok, she knocked him out with her touch before multiplying herself. In unison, the twelve Rogues grinned.
"Oh hell." Cannonball ran for cover, only to be intercepted by a puff of brimstone and the click of a paintball gun being set off. "Oh double hell." He smudged the bright pink smear on his chest.
They were everywhere, if you didn't run into a Rogue then you ran into Kurt who was taking a large amount of glee from the whole thing.
That was until he was given a 'fly' punch from a very annoyed Scott. Unfortunately, Cyclops had forgotten about Kurt's new peircings that were just a little bit sensitive. The effect was similar to a very annoyed scalded cat with a migraine.
Scott didn't stand a chance.
One of the now eight remaining Rogues decided to intervene and pull him off, another came to assist and it was declared by all that Scott was out and most likely would have pink hair for a few nights.
The blue mutant could hardly stop laughing at the idea and then started to do a victory dance upon realising that everyone was 'out' of the game. "Alright! Ve vun!"
Laughing as they exited, the x-men headed for the showers and their rooms. Kurt was shocked as his sister pulled him into her room after he had gotten changed and he looked at Kitty who was on her bed. The valley girl shook her head and continued listening to the CD on her walkman.
"Here ya go." Smiling, Rogue picked up a small box. "Ah have a few and ah thought yah would look good in it."
Kurt looked at the collar and, grinning, he bowed forward to allow her to put it on him. Standing back up and glancing into the mirror, he shook his head, grinning. "Ja, I like it."
There was a dramatic sigh from Kitty who then rolled over, glaring at the wall.
"Ah, ignore her Kurt, she just doesn't appreciate tha' ya don't want tah be a stereotype. Now, ah've got tah show ya how tah darken your eyes."
The blue mutant paled. "You mean, makeup?"
"And your nails, do you think black or silver?"
"Nail polish?" Kurt was beginning to wonder if his little make-over was such a good idea after all.
"Yah are so lucky, yah only have tah do six nails, ah have tah do ten."
"And his nails are, like, totally thicker and stuff. If he was to, like, stay still, this would be totally easier."
"But it's cold!"
The two girls rolled their eyes as the blue mutant sunk lower into the couch they had pinned him on. Kurt had managed to get Rogue to agree to tweaking his inducer to show his eyes darkened since it refused to cling to his fur. That's when Kitty had stepped in to help with the removal of the little that did manage to stay on.
And then both girls had started on his nails – they insisted on two nails each and then for him to try and do two of his nails. The fact that they kept trying to claim a hand and then the other hand wasn't boosting his confidence. Nail varnish he suspected wasn't going to be very easy to remove from his fur.
Or he could just shave it off.
"Like, stay still Kurt, or I'll, like, do something to you!" Kitty laughed as she finished off her first nail, it had taken just over five minutes, but Kurt was still refusing to settle down.
"Please! Zis is torture! I'll do anything if you just stop!"
Scott chose that moment to enter the room with Bobby just behind him. The two looked at the collection of nail varnish bottles and Kurt who was being pinned onto the couch with the girls holding a hand each. They all froze.
And stayed frozen.
Logan walked in. "What's going on, wait, I don't want to know."
"I can explain! Zey are torturing me for reasons unknown!" Kurt tried to stand up but was dragged down. "Help!"
"No way!" Bobby ran out of the room and returned with a camera and all the other mutants. They all looked annoyed that he had disturbed their game but one look and they were extremely interested.
All the girls wanted to claim a nail of Kurt's to paint.
"Please – Logan!" The blue mutant called out as he was pinned down by all the girls. Rahne, Amara and Jean had one hand whilst Kitty, Rogue and Jubilee had the other. "I promise, I vill do extra training sessions – get zem off!"
Logan sat down, lit a cigar and watched. "And risk the wrath? You're on your own, bub."
An idea flashed across Kurt's mind and he grinned darkly. "Girls, have you not noticed how all these other guys seem desperate for you to do zere nails also?"
Quick as a flash, the men found themselves having various colours of nail varnish compared to their skin tones and eyes. They all paled considerably.
Bayville high looked the typical, all American high school. Even without a school uniform, all the students still looked boring and Kurt found himself wondering about the brotherhood – how many waistcoats did Lance own? And Todd with those torn jeans, actually, from the smell of him, Kurt guessed that the answer was just one.
Everyone stopped to stare as Kurt picked his way through the crowd to class.
The mutant blamed it on the black nail varnish he was wearing – he had no idea how to get it off and the girls were holding the secret close to their hearts. It seemed that this new look was quickly growing on the female population of the mansion.
Sitting down under a tree, Kurt played with the collar and watched as his sister milled about with the other school Goths.
Rogue was collared suddenly by Wanda and she was surprised as Kurt was indicated.
"Is that who I think it is?"
"An' who do yah think it is?" The southern belle smiled, wanting to drag this out.
The scarlet witch looked over to the tree where Kurt was talking with some of his friends. She indicated him frankly whilst trying not to be noticed. "You know fine well who I'm talking about – happens to be blue, furry, cute pointed -"
"Ya said cute."
The girl blinked. "Well...his ears are cute in a kind of...Kurt way. So, is it him or an evil clone?"
"Its Kurt, I'll pass on th' message that yah think he has cute ears."
"No! I mean, it's an odd thing to say, he'll freak."
"He's got them pierced, does tha' add tah the cute look?"
Wanda looked as if she was about to kill Rogue, then changed her mind. "They do actually look really cool from over here."
"Perhaps yah should take a closer look." Rogue made to grab the girls arm and was surprised as Wanda started heading towards the tree.
"I might just do that."
"...decided to go for a change, vhat do you think?" Kurt watched as his friends shuffled their feet and suspected that he knew their vague answers already. Perhaps he should tell them about the secret power of nail varnish, or he could keep it a secret so as not to gain any competition.
One suddenly screamed and ran away.
The others took note and bolted.
"Well, tha' was nice." Rogue sniffed then laughed as Kurt was caught by Wanda and his head was turned this way and that.
Eventually, the Scarlet Witch let him go and allowed the smallest of smiles to reach her face. "You're right, Rogue."
"Right about vhat?" Kurt rubbed his chin and rolled his head, getting the stiffness out. He leapt away as Wanda went to catch him again but he failed to get far enough as his nails were examined.
"You didn't do this, someone else did."
"Ah did." Rogue grinned, taking pride in her handiwork.
"Do you know how to get it off?" The blue mutant grinned hopefully.
Wanda smiled darkly. "Maybe, depends what you can do for me."
"Let me think." She pretended to ponder for a moment making those little noises people make when they pretend to think. "I've got it."
"I'll tell you after school." She flicked his chin and walked away with a slight sway in her hips.
"Nein!" He dropped to his knees. "Don't go!"
"Don't be so dramatic, Kurt." Rogue was unable to hide her smile. "I can't wait tah see yer face when she tells yah what she wants."
Kurt cocked his head. "You know? Vhat?"
"I don't want tah spoil the surprise now, do ah?"
The end of the day couldn't come soon enough. Kurt practically skipped to the tree, looking like the happiest Goth in the school. He sat down, waiting for the arrival of Wanda, and probably Rogue. She seemed a little too happy today.
Drumming his fingers against the ground, he looked up and cheered as the pair arrived. That cheer died when he noticed them exchange a glance that spelled trouble for anyone of the male species. He swallowed.
"Now, let's see." Wanda picked up one hand and the separated one finger, two in his hologram. "That's going to cause some difficulty – I need to see you without that thing on." She grinned.
Kurt franticly wished for a hole to open up in the ground and swallow him. "Ja?"
"Come to the Brotherhood house at...seven and I'll get it off for you, but I still want a favour done for this."
Rogue stifled a laugh at Kurt's face.
"Isn't zere just some sort of nail varnish remover I can buy?"
"Never heard of it." Rogue told him with a carefully blank face.
"Verdamment!" Shaking his head, he looked over to Wanda, surprised to see her smiling, and swallowed nervously. Why did he feel like a boy going on a date? "So zen, seven it is."
Wanda nodded and, without saying anything, left. Once she was out of earshot, Rogue burst out laughing and refused to stop despite her brothers begging for an explanation.
She only wished that there was a mutant who could become something very small so that she could borrow their power and be there when Kurt realised that there was such a thing as nail varnish remover.
It was going to be classic.
Logan was one of these strange men who had a shower before he held a training session and then one after it. Why that was, no one knew exactly, but it made Kurt's little plan for change easier.
Teleporting into the bathroom, Kurt quietly snuck off with the mans clothes leaving just his terry robe. The smell of brimstone would be covered with the shampoo and shower gel being used, and the sound of the shower drummed out the noise as he departed.
Despite the chaos of Logan's room, it seemed to never change. Kurt picked up all the clothes off the floor and put them into a bag, all the clothes in the cupboard joining them. To keep the smell of brimstone off them, he snuck out of the door.
"An' what are yah up tah, Kurt?"
"Are you stalking me?"
Rogue smiled. "How can ah stalk yah when yah teleport?" She took the bag and raised an eyebrow at the clothes. "Just what are yah plotting?"
"You'll see, it's going to be an interesting danger room session." Kurt paused. "Oh, and bring your camera." He grinned. "Get every vun to bring zere camera."
In the living room, the new mutants looked up as a loud roar echoed around the mansion, upsetting a nest of swallows and causing Rahne to cover her ears. She ended up growling until it stopped.
"I hate it when he gets angry." She shook her head. "I wonder what Bobby's done this time."
Bobby blinked. "Hey! I haven't done anything! All I know is to bring our cameras along to our danger room session."
Rogue raised an eyebrow, time to set up the Iceman. "An' how would yah know tah do that if yah didn't do anything?"
"I...a shadow told me?"
All of the x-men raised an eyebrow. Kurt raised a pierced one before shaking his head. "I hope zhis doesn't take too long, I have to meet Wanda tonight."
"What! Fraternising with the enemy?" Scott jumped to his feet.
"Vhat! Nein! She's going to take zis nail varnish off using ze stuff women use to take it off. I'm going to make a note of ze nail varnish remover name so I can buy some."
Jubilee frowned. "But, Kurt, it is called -" Every girl suddenly had their hands over her mouth. She made a few mumbled sounds before giving up with an eye roll and a shrug.
Another roar started up as the danger room session alarm sounded.
It was exactly the same uniform as Logan always wore, except that the orange was now a luminous pink and there was also a pink tutu skirt about his waist. Frills on the cuffs of his gloves topped the ensemble that was being torn at.
Logan froze and looked up at the wall of cameras, only to be blinded by one huge flash. "Right! Bobby – you are not getting away with this!"
"No buts! You can't blame it on Kurt, there would be brimstone on these, I can only smell your deodorant!"
Rogue looked at her brother and quietly whispered. "Yah stitched him up good."
"Ja, but he vas behind ze banana pie incident and I had to do three consecutive danger room sessions." He shook his blue head. "Zis is revenge and a little fun."
Nodding, Rogue raised her hand. "Logan? Are we still having a danger room session?"
The Canadian rubbed the stubble on his chin for a moment. "No, you can all grab some popcorn and watch whilst Bobby's made to do a few loops. Any suggestions?"