A/N: I'm back with SOMETHING new, even if I am still procrastinating with writing new chapters of my other stories at the moment. But hopefully this will make up for it at least a little bit!
Anyway, at the suggestion of some people who got to read this short little story that I wrote as a joke, I have decided to post it.
I hope everyone finds it amusing!
Disclaimer: It isn't really my fault that Kagome and Sango are both perverts! They've always been that way deep, deep down…oh, and I don't own any of the Inuyasha characters, or the hot springs cliché!
Warnings: Perverted humor and talk of – those – kinds of things! ::evil smile::
Of Weapons and Men
Rating: PG-13 for perverted humor
Kagome sighed as she sank back down into the hot water, thankful for the relaxing hot springs they'd had the good fortune to come across on their travels. It wasn't exactly a hot bath in her own time, but it was certainly the next best thing. And it was a lot better than a cold river.
Across from Kagome, Sango was lost in her own little world of heavenly bliss as she enjoyed the hot water along with her friend.
"Kagome-chan, it's times like this that I can almost forget that perverted monk even exsists."
The younger girl giggled, obviously amused. "Yeah, but it's also times like this that HE can't forget that YOU exist! I'm suprised that he hasn't tried to peek yet."
Sango blushed and didn't respond.
Thinking about the guys who were probably (well, more like hopefully) back at camp where they belonged, Kagome suddenly asked her friend a rather random question. "Hey, Sango-chan...with Miroku-sama acting so perverted all the time, does it ever make you think of doing...THAT? With him?"
The demon slayer gasped. "W-Wh-what? I d-don't know what you mean..."
Kagome shook her head. "Come on, you do so know what I mean! Haven't you ever wondered about what it would be like?"
"Of COURSE not!"
"Liar." Kagome snickered at her friends wide-eyed, horrified expression. "Admit it!"
Sango huffed and crossed her arms, refusing to look at the girl across from her. "And even if I have? What of it?"
Kagome let loose a gail of laughter that must have carried for miles. "Oh my God! I KNEW it!"
"Yeah, well..." Sango suddenly looked amused herself. "I bet you aren't any different. I SAW that look on your face the other night while you were sleeping. What kind of dream were you having, anyway? Did it feature a certain HANYOU?"
Now it was Kagome's turn to splutter in denial, while Sango just shook her head knowingly.
The area around the hot springs got quiet for several long moments as both girls blushed and attempted to deal with their embarrassment. Both of them wanted to talk about it more, but were unsure how much it would be wise to admit to the other about their feelings, or the embarassing things they thought about.
Kagome, being from the future and having less reservations about that sort of thing, finally decided to speak again.
"I WAS having a dream...like that..." She looked down, her nose almost in the warm water "And he was in it..."
Sango's blush darkened. "I've never really had dreams like that. I just don't know enough about it, I guess."
Kagome looked shocked. "You mean no one ever told you about sex?"
"Of course not! My father wasn't about to do it!" Sango was horrified at the mere suggestion of such a thing. "I grew up knowing nothing because I was surrounded by men and demon guts most of the time. I didn't have time for such things!"
"Have you ever seen a naked man?"
The older girl nearly choked. "K-Kind of..."
The interest in Kagome's face was almost too much for Sango to bear. "You mean you've really seen one of those...those...things? I've always wondered about what one would look like. How big are they?"
Sango couldn't believe her ears. How could Kagome bring herself to talk about such taboo things?!?! She was unmarried and shouldn't think about men's...men's...what the heck were they called, anyway?
"Uh...well...they seem to be different for each man. I've seen some long, some short, some rather pathetic looking..." She giggled nervous as Kagome grimaced. "I even saw one guy with a really HUGE one."
Both girls suddenly looked uneasy at the thought. "You don't think Miroku or Inuyasha has a...one of those that big, do you?" Kagome asked.
Without really realizing what she was doing, Sango tried to picture what Miroku would look like naked, and her face nearly went up in flames it got so red and hot. "I don't know!" She squeaked out.
Kagome was amused at her friends embarrassment, and suddenly grinned. "Well, they SAY you can tell a man's size by the size of his feet, but who knows...maybe with Miroku, it isn't the size of his feet, but of something ELSE."
Sango narrowed her eyes. "And what 'else' would that be?"
A small snort of laughter escaped. "His...his...STAFF!" Kagome clutched her stomach and nearly fell face first in the water when she got a glimpse of Sango's horrified expression.
Revenge was obviously in order.
"What about Inuyasha...would his be like his SWORD?"
Kagome suddenly stopped laughing and blinked. "Hey, that reminds me...once I heard someone called a man's...thing...a blade of passion!"
"Oh...my...God..." Sango put a hand to her face.
Kagome continued. "So that would make Miroku's a staff of passion!"
Laughter ( very embarrassed laughter, mind you) rang out through the clearing, and Sango gasped "I've never thought of it that way! Do you think the guys really have those long weapons to make up for something?"
"I don't know about Miroku, but Inuyasha is making up for length AND width!"
And on the mirth continued, both girls talking about Inuyasha's 'blade of passion' and Miroku's 'staff of passion'...
&&&&&Arriving back at camp a few minutes, Inuyasha and Miroku were stumped after managing to catch only the very end of Kagome and Sango's bath time conversation while peeking.
"What do you think is so facinating to the girls about our weapons?" Miroku held his staff in front of him as if staring at it would give him the answers.
Inuyasha shrugged. "Keh! Like I know."
A/N: So what do you think? I hope the story didn't lose you. I was making fun of the fact that I've heard the term 'blade of passion' used in fanfiction and even published books to refer to a man's…weapon…::laughs:: What a term! Anyway, review and let me know what you thought!