Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… I don't own the characters… hell(!) I hardly own this plot! (I took the basic theme from the original movie!)

Summery: Hermione had a boyfriend (not her first, of course)… but the keyword there was HAD. After a very unfriendly argument her heart was broken just before her seventh year of Hogwarts had started. How does she handle this? Three words… DOWN WITH LOVE! The battle of the sexes has officially begun! And Hermione begins to attract female followers, not only from Gryffindor, but from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and (dare I say it?) Slytherin! Even the female professors have decided to give it a try! Hogwarts has become a backwards place this year and every female is getting a healthy helping of sex a la carte! Abstain from love… indulge in chocolate… and Get Down With Love!

A/N: Can you guess which movie I was watching when this idea popped into my head? Ok, I know I have like four or five stories going at once, but I'm putting a few on hold and giving my full attention to two of them in particular… this and Reality Check. So look for updates at least once a week if you like this! And if you don't… then oh well! Because I do write these for my entertainment and for my friends who enjoy reading them! I hope you do too, though!

Down With Love

By Andi JJ

Chapter One: Starting Anew

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

(This has become sort of a tradition!)

Fly Me to the Moon—Frank Sinatra

Ah… life is good! Life is goody good good! It couldn't possibly get any better! (Unless maybe I won some sort of lottery and England decided to name me their new queen…) But, no. Life was good the way it was and I wanted it to stay this way forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever!

Can you tell I'm love sick?

Ah… Life is just SOO good!

Maybe I should get on with my story, though, huh?


Here I go.

Since life is just so good!

It's summer holiday. I'm away from school and for the first time I love it! I have yet to finish my homework and sadly, term starts in just a few weeks. I also am waiting for my letter from Hogwarts. Wow. If I made Head Girl, then life would be just fabbity fab fab! Yupp. Life is so good.


The news and my story…


Love sickness… you know.

Basically, it goes like this. I met a Sex God over the holiday break… can you believe that?! I mean, sure, I met him… but now we're dating! Official Sex God Girlfriend over here!! The OSGG!! It's a very important title! Anyway, we've been seeing each other over the summer and I am just IN LOVE with him! He's tall, gorgeous, dark hair, bright blue eyes, muscular… a few years older then me… ah, well. He doesn't seem to care about that. So neither do I! Back to where I was going with this…

His name is Tom. Every day he tells me how much he loves me and every time those words come out of his gorgeous mouth I seem weak in the knees. I can't help but fall for him! And who wouldn't?! I see girls gawk at him every time he picks me up from where ever I am or when we're out! They can't keep their eyes off of him (and neither can I!) But that isn't the point.


Ha ha ha ha ha ha…. Life is so fabby… and Tom is so gorgy… and… ok I'll shut up.

Anyway, I'm off to meet him right now… he said it was important. Maybe he'll ask me to marry him! Shut up shut up brain… Well, ta!



Never again.

Never ever again.

A waste.

Of my complete time.

And heart…

That's it. How could he have done that to me? HOW?! He obviously didn't care about my feelings. And he did it in front of all his bloody friends! Heartless whelk. Prat. Git.

I don't feel better.

I never will.

I haven't stopped crying.

Your lost, aren't you?

Maybe I should fill you in… this way your not feeling sorry for me when you have no idea what the bloody hell even happened.

Here's my pathetic story:

Like I said, I had met this guy (the last version I told you was a bit rushed, and I was a bit loony and spazy at the time.) Anyway, I was going into town for my mum. She wanted me to pick up a few essentials. Well I walked into the family grocery store (dad knows the owner) and I asked for what ever it was I needed (Milk, eggs, and bread—typico) but something was different that day. At least to me. There was a new guy in the shop. He was so gorgeous and he captured my heart when he turned to me and smiled. I almost didn't notice that he was holding the essentials. So I took them from him (as any normal person would) and had begun to walk out when he spoke to me.

"I'm Tom." He said. His voice was so dark and manly. I was so dense then.

I turned back around and he was smiling at me with that one-of-a-kind smile that made my heart melt and my knees buckle.

"Hi." I said. I remember this. Because I secretly contemplated on whether or not I wanted to give in and be all girlish, or play hard-to-get. I knew what I was doing this time—I had a bit of practice last term with a few guys.

I smiled at him attractively then turned to leave. I decided to just play hard-to-get.

But he spoke to me again.

"I didn't catch your name." He said again.

I turned back around right when I was at the door. He was leaning over the counter just smiling at me… oh, how sexy he looked.

"That's because I didn't give it." What line was that from? Oh, who cares… it got his attention. When I was satisfied with everything I turned and left the store. Obviously he was interested, and I knew I would be back again before the holidays were over so I wasn't afraid of never meeting him again. But stupid me had to fall in love at the first sight. Oh, how foolish I was.

I went back up there the same day a week later. Mum needed some ginger snaps and peppermint. And with my luck, he was there, ringing up a few girls at the counter. They were batting their eyelashes and staring at him fondly. I felt a little out of place. They looked older then me but they sure weren't acting like it. They were hopelessly flirting with him. I don't know if he was flirting back, I was too busy in the back isle looking for what I needed.

I felt eyes on me as I walked along through the store and I heard the girls whispering. Finally I just couldn't take it and I looked up to see what was going on. There he was. The Sex God. Staring at me while the other girls clearly looked confused at why he was paying more attention to me and not them. Well, you can bet that I felt a load of pride well up in my chest… I could have probably have felt as conceded as Malfoy after that.

He smiled at me. He smiled his sexy smile as if he just knew I was going to come back sooner or later to see him. Well, he wasn't wrong

"Tom? Tom. Earth to Tom!"

I could here one of the girls trying to get his attention. I had turned back around by now but apparently he hadn't.

"Tom we have to go. Are you working tomorrow?"

There was a long pause… at least I'm guessing. Shortly after I heard him answer the whining girl.


"Alright then maybe I'll stop by." She replied.

At this time, I happened to be facing the part of the isle that pointed in their direction and I could see them. Tom smiled at her kindly, and she smiled back, just before glancing at me one more time.

I watched them leave and slowly made my way up to the counter. Tom had watched me the whole way.

"Ah… my mystery madden has decided to show up again. Couldn't resist?"

Now that I think about this… he was a bit arrogant….

But I obviously over looked it and played along.

"Actually I was just hungry." He actually laughed at that. But this was a grocery store after all.

"What are you up to tomorrow?" He asked, after checking my two items.

"Why do you care? Don't you have to work?" I asked with a brilliant smile to show that I wasn't trying to sound mean, but playful.

He smiled at me… his gorgeous smile that made my knees go weak all over again. Although I still kept my excellent composure.

"Well, I am the owners nephew, and he is friends with your family, so I'm sure he'll give the day off if I told him I was out on a date with you… Hermione." He smirked, obviously feeling special that he knew my name before I even told him. Which, in fact, I was curious about.

"How did you know my name?" Told you I was curious.

"When you walked out yesterday I asked my uncle. He pointed you out before and told me how him and your family were good friends." He leaned over the counter and I was able to gaze into his cerulean eyes. I could get lost in them so easy…

"Well aren't you clever?" I asked jokingly, snapping out of my daze just in time to reply to his comment.

"So would you like to do something with me?" He asked again, never taking his eyes off of me.

"What about your little girlfriends? You told them you would meet them." I said challenging his thoughts.

"No. I told them I was working tomorrow. Which isn't a complete lie because when we're done with our date I'll just be back here again." He said while thinking over his conversation with the giddy girls.

I thought about his offer and it was the word "date" that persuaded me the most to accept his invitation. A date. Me. On a date. With the Sex God of England. Hermione Granger. Bookworm of Hogwarts. On a date with the sexiest man alive. I would have been crazy to say no.

Actually, now that I think about it, I would have been sane to say no. At least then I wouldn't be in the position I am now. Now the rest is history.

Screw off.

I wish I could hex him to another universe.

I can't believe he would treat me like that…


Alright… since you're probably dieing to know…

Remember when I told you he called because he wanted to talk to me about something important? Yeah well, I met him in the park at noon, just as he asked. We had been dating for about two months now. My heart was his completely. I told him every time I saw him and I thought he took me seriously. When I got to the park he was sitting with a bunch of his mates and a few girls that I had recognized from the store during our second meeting. This was suspicious but I over looked it. He never sits with his friends around me.

He walked up to me when he saw me and pulled me a few feet away from everyone else. I noticed the one girl who had been most flirtatious around him in the store kept staring at me with some kind of smirk on her face. Once again, I over looked it.

" 'Mione, there is something I need to say to you." He was all serious and he was giving me that sexy smile he usually flashed.

"Ok…" I said cautiously. He was acting all weird.

"This girl… Carolina… she really likes me. A lot."

I just stared at him waiting for a point in all of this.

He continued, "She's always around, and she's really caring, and she's completely gorgeous!"

What? So? He was my man! He's not aloud to rate other girls!

"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I had fun with you this summer, but I need someone more affectionate, more caring. She's seems so much more into me then you. Sorry, love." He kissed my cheek and walked away.

I stood rooted to the spot. He did what I had least expected him to do. "More caring?" I echoed to myself… "…better?" I was so lost. So very lost. Vair vair lost. And he acted as if my feelings meant nothing to him! I LOVED HIM! We had so many good times and he just threw them out the window for some slut who was jealous of what I had!

Well, you know what? I'm sick of this! All of it! Every single dirty last piece of it! Love? Love never existed! It was a figment of the mind that we made up to keep ourselves entertained and let directors take advantage of and make horrible Soap Opra's for us to compare our lives to!! Well, you know what I say to that? DOWN!

"DOWN WITH LOVE!" – Although, I didn't shout this in the middle of the park...

That would have made me look completely insane.

So once again…






You like? It gets better, believe me! Next chapter I'm going to bring her school life in and then I'll start to introduce the basic plot. It's very predictable actually and I'm WILLING TO TAKE ADVISE AND REQUESTS!!!!! So please review!