Kagome tossed and turned all night…she was haunted. Vicious memories of Inuyasha were clouding her mind and she just couldn't stop it.
Kouga had woken up to her thrashing about in her nightmare. He tried holding her down but to no avail. She was getting fiercer and more aggressive with each move. She would calm down.
He even tried shaking her shoulders to awaken her but it was not working. He tried pulling her closer again but it still was not working. He did the last thing he could think of.
He pulled her to him once more and kissed her fiercely on the lips. Her eyes opened wide and then when he pulled away she started crying. She was crying those tears that he hated so much. She was tearing him apart inside. Those damned tears that fell constantly for that mutt.
The mutt. He left Kagome without warning. He left with that dead priestess whom he claimed to love. Yet even in Inuyasha's death state she shed those wicked tears for him.
He pulled her close to him again and sat up. She was crying onto his bare chest. The tears slowly cascaded down his chest leaving a burning trail. He was torn. It burned him as each tear would touch his skin. He felt like he was being tortured.
He took his clawed finger and tilter her head up a bit and looked at her sternly in the eyes.
She looked frightened at this sight of him. It was scaring her.
"Kagome" he wiped a tear with his thumb still keeping his stoic expression "…he's dead Kagome…No more tears please. You are hurting the people around you. Sango, Miroku, and ME! I've taken you in to help you heal but if you're not willing to live on then I don't know what to do with you. You're tears burn holes in my heart as they fall one by one." Kagome's bottom lip quivered with each word he spoke. How could he tell her to live on when what she lived for was her love for Inuyasha. But then what he said next was something she didn't expect.
"Kagome, I am not saying give up your love for Inuyasha. I am saying don't remember the sad times, remember the good times and keep them special. I love you Kagome and all I want to see is that you are happy…understand?" his expression fell as he said this. Kagome saw the passion in his eyes as they were glazed with his own tears.
Kagome looked down at her lap in shame. How could she hurt him? Why did she hurt him? It was all clear. If she just remembered happy times with Inuyasha he would be happy. She nodded.
"B-but it's so hard to forget…"her eyes closed trying to hold back tears as she felt them prick. "…he knew of my love for him so why did he leave?"
"I cannot answer that Kagome. But maybe if you look deep into your heart you will find the answer" Kouga pulled her close and laid back. "Kagome…sleep because tomorrow is a new day to start again. Learn to love living life with me. Please? Won't you grant that one desire that I have?" He looked down at her. She nodded again but lightly. He could tell she was relaxing a bit and would sleep a little better.
"See you in the Morning Kagome. Please be alright" he whispered as sleep took her and him into its darkness.
The next morning Kagome awoke to an empty fur bed. She instantly felt a headache come on. She was really dizzy and fell back onto the soft furs. She moaned in pain just as Kouga walked through the entrance who shot a boyish smile her way but then it disappeared when he heard the moan. He rushed to her side and put a hand on her forehead.
It was burning.
He rushed and grabbed a piece of cloth from the side and wet it in the water bucket he brought in and folded it. He put it on her forehead and dabbed trying to cool her down. He then got her to drink some water before it finally went down a little. He laid her down on the furs and put the furs over her.
He walked out of the room to get some food. He returned shortly with a dead pig and had it cooking over a small fire. He heard Kagome wake up and walk towards him. She plopped herself down next to him and looked at the fire.
"thank you…" she muttered. She felt dizzy again and fell slightly against his shoulder.
He looked at her and sighed. She wore herself out too easily. He stood up, collecting her in his arms and walked over to the furs. He laid her down but she wouldn't let go so he lay next to her. After awhile of laying there staring at her she relaxed and let go. He got up and finished cooking the pig.
He cut it into small bite size pieces for Kagome and took the pottery bowls he had and put them in. He then brewed a broth that someone in a village gave him and poured it in the same bowl as he put the pieces in. he stirred it a bit and then brought it over to Kagome.
He sat beside her and pulled her upper back up making her sit up. Then he shook her slightly making her stir.
"what?" she asked sleepily.
"Food Kagome. You need to eat." He put the steaming hot brew in front of her. She looked at it but then slumped over.
"whoa!" he grabbed her and leaned her against him. "see what I mean? You need food for strength."
"I-I'm not hungry. I don't wanna eat." She turned her head away.
"Really now? Because your stomach seems to say other wise" he chuckled when her stomach made the empty rumbling noise.
After he fed her he laid her back down. Instantly she was asleep again. He put the empty bowl on the floor next to the bed and took her in his arms. He must have laid there for hours just stroking her hair.
"Soft, beautiful, and silky" he would say to himself.
Soon she was stirring again. She opened her eyes but then closed them. Then she opened them again. She looked at him but then looked down. She suddenly felt the arms around her pull her up. He was looking at her and she didn't like it.
"I am here you know! You don't have to look down each time I look at you. What are you ashamed of?" He was mad and she could tell. She hurt him. But she didn't respond she just looked away. He grabbed her again.
"Answer me Kagome! It hurts me when you don't talk to me! It hurts me when you ignore me. I'm sorry Kagome but I don't know if I want to be around you when you're like this. I'm trying to help but you're just distancing yourself from me!" Kouga let go of her and sat up. He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes to restrain himself from snapping. He didn't want to do this to her but he couldn't keep going like this.
"kagome…I'm… I'm gonna go for a walk…don't expect me back until-" he started but then he was hugged around the middle. Kagome had launched herself with all her might and clung to him.
"I'm sorry Kouga…It's so painful…I don't want to hurt you…I just miss him is all. Help me forget. Help me forget his death. I'm so sorry." She was crying again. But it wasn't all for Inuyasha. She didn't want Kouga to leave. "Please Kouga…don't leave me…I'm sorry"
Kouga wanted to slap himself for making her cry like this. He turned around and grabbed the crying woman in his arms and held her close.
"I know you are Kagome but you need to respect Inuyasha's choice. He made a stupid one on his own account. You are not to blame and now you have me. Won't you give me that chance?"
Kagome nodded and clung tighter to him.
Kouga walked outside with her in his arms and sat on the edge of the cliff where the den was. He sat down and dangled his feet over the edge. She clung tighter to him and the relaxed in his arms. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He looked down at her waiting for her to turn her head but instead she gave him a smile.
A smile all for him to see…