Warnings: IsisRishid, RyohMalik, het, shonen ai

Jigglypuff

Isis was starving herself.

Of course, if you told that to Rishid or Malik, which Ryoh did, neither of them would believe you. Thus they both stared at Ryoh for a moment before telling him that Isis was not that kind of person, loudly insisting that she was stronger than that, and then Malik demanding why the Hell she would feel the need to do something so stupid when she was already "damn fine." (Ryoh wondered if he should be at all unnerved by the words Malik used to describe his sister, along with the gratuitous hand motions for the curvy bits, but decided it was a question for another day.)

But, despite their protests, Ryoh just shrugged and told them, "She's not eating. Trust me, I was bulimic, I can recognize these things."

While Rishid quietly considered the possibility of truth in Ryoh's out-of-the-blue observation, Malik asked what bulimia was. The answer made him frown.

"What the Hell?" the blond asked, not angrily. "That's nasty. Why would you do that sort of thing?"

Ryoh shrugged again. It was a good motion for his newly-labeled apathetic personality (he had decided that since people were saying he didn't have a personality, he would just act detatched so that those people would assume he really did have personality, it was just hiding under piles and piles of apathy and dirty laundry. Never mind the fact that the earlier assumptions about his lack of personality had been mostly correct, though that couldn't be blamed on Ryoh, but rather was the fault of the great Special K(azuki)). But, back to the serious conversation. Ryoh shrugged apathetically, forming his response in his head. After all, Malik might have been his boyfriend, but Ryoh always had been a secretive bastard, and admitting to having had an eating disorder was a lot without admitting why too.

Ryoh responded anyway. "When you think you're not good enough," was the answer. "It comes out of not liking yourself enough."

"Why wouldn't Isis like herself?" Poor Malik was rather perplexed. After all, Malik liked Isis, and if he liked somebody they had to be cool, and if they were cool according to Malik then there was no reason to dislike them. This hadn't exactly held true with YamiBakura, but even greatness like Malik made mistakes. And besides all that, Isis was related to Malik, and thus some of his amazing qualities had to be shared by his sister. According to Malik's logic, it just made no sense. And of course Malik's logic was flawless, by virtue of being Malik's.

Ah, blond moments. Ryoh resisted the urge to smack his boyfriend.

Rishid, on the other hand, though he couldn't quite grasp Isis's reasoning, was now starting to realize certain things. Namely, that certain parts of Isis weren't as jiggly as they had once been. This discovery made him sad. He wasn't quite sure how he'd failed to notice this before, since he stared at Isis's jiggly bits far more than her brother really should stare at her jiggly bits (but then again, Malik stared at everybody's jiggly bits even more than that, so Rishid figured he wasn't that bad... though Malik is not exactly a good basis for comparison). Yet he had failed to notice the change. Even if it had been gradual, he was disappointed in his lack of observation skills.

Malik still wasn't quite sure, but he was now outnumbered two to one, so he went with it.

So while her motivation remained a mystery, it was agreed that Isis had a problem. Thus, it was decided that Isis needed to start eating right again. And so began Mission: Make Isis Jiggle Again.

("Ninmu ryoukai!

"Malik! Quit watching old Gundam Wing reruns!")

Surprisingly, Malik's approach to the problem was more subtle than Ryoh would have given him credit for. He did not simply grab his sister and begin to shovel food down her throat. This might've been because Ryoh expressly told him not to do that, because then she might progress further from simple anorexia into bulimia, and that would really suck because then she'd have bad breath. In any case, the approach Malik settled on was blasting music.

Not just any music, however.

"I, like, big BUTTS and I cannot lie!"

Ryoh buried his head in his hands as he realized Malik had memorized the lyrics. The blond was still dancing around the room shouting about how his anaconda didn't "want none unless you got buns, hun!" and making gestures with his hands (though for once not overly graphic gestures, simply gangsta-esque movements to emphasize the words) when Isis walked in. Upon spotting his new audience, who was currently frozen by a power even more fearful than the Millennium Rod, namely Malik's sex appeal (again, Ryoh worried about the incestuous natures of his boyfriend's family), her little brother made his way over to her, still shaking his own jiggly arse in time with the music. He held one hand in front of his mouth as though he had a microphone, while the other continued its rapid-fire gesturing.

"So Cosmo says your fat -- well I ain't down with that! 'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin' -- and I'm thinkin' 'bout stickin' --"

The pelvic motions were just too much for her to watch. She fainted, though the reader can decide whether it was from the fear or the sexual tension. Of course, according to Ryoh, it was probably more due to hunger than either of those possibilities.

After discovering what had happened, Rishid kicked Malik out of the house. Ryoh followed, knowing the oncoming cheesy conclusion to a romantic ficlet when he saw one. Or, in laymen's terms, knowing where he wasn't needed. Or, in fangirl's terms, knowing when to molest his boyfriend.

Thus, when Isis woke up on the sofa, Rishid was the only one there. And without Ryoh or Malik to help him with things like subtlety and tact, he merely asked, "Did you have breakfast today?"

Isis opened her mouth to say she had, but then paused. Lying to Malik was a lot easier, perhaps because he was blond. (Shameless blond joke strikes again.) She shook her head. "I didn't have time."

Rishid shrugged with a feined casual air (which he'd picked up from Ryoh, since the white-haired boy was always freeloading at their appartment, not actually having any food at his own). "Did you get a good lunch, then?" He asked, again nonchalant.

Isis repeated the reaction she'd had to the first question, begining to lie before admitting that she'd skipped that meal, too.

"You need to eat, Isis," Rishid told her. "You work hard -- you need food so you don't faint like this." (Note how he mentions nothing about her weight or appearance. Perhaps he has picked up some tact along the way. Good for him.)

Unfortunately, Isis failed to see the logic in that statement. "It's ok if I miss a few meals. I can stand to lose a few pounds, anyway." Ah, but Isis also had picked up the apathetic delivery on important lines. That Ryoh was such a bad influence on them all.

However, the fact was that Rishid, being a naturally big man (not that way (well, perhaps, but this really isn't that kind of fic (except where it is))), liked his women with a bit of meat on them. And Isis, if she kept dropping pounds, was not going to have enough meat on her. (Please purge your mind of all cannibalistic thoughts now.) And this would make Rishid sad, because he, as you may have noticed by now, had incestuous and carnal desires. (Though in all honesty it wasn't really incest, and if they had babies they wouldn't be inbred -- well, maybe they would be a little inbred if only because there must have been some inbreeding going on in that Ishtar clan if they lived underground without outside interaction for so long, but that's another story.)

"But Isis," Rishid began, and then promptly revealed that his tact and subtlety only went to a certain point, "you're not as jiggly as you used to be. And I can see your ribs when you walk around in just your bra and panties. And the sexy lingerie I got for you is going to be too loose now."

Isis stared. "You got me sexy lingerie?" Her mind immediately abandoned all thoughts of skipping meals to imagine herself in that red teddy she'd seen at Victoria's secret but hadn't wanted to spend so much cash on.

It was funny to watch Rishid blush, because even though he was tan, you could still see the red tint travel up his face, then up his forhead, and then over the baldness. "I might've," he admitted.

Isis considered. Actually, Rishid had probably gotten her the teddy in black, because it would look better on her than red would. Or maybe in white; she was fond of wearing white. Well, it wasn't such a bad trade, she decided; she got to wear sexy lingerie in exchange for her not starving to death. (Even if it wasn't a teddy and Rishid had bought her something else instead. Sexy lingerie was, after all, sexy lingerie, teddy or not.)

"Ok," she relented. "I'll start eating again, but only if I can start with licking whipped cream off you in naughty ways."

So Isis started eating again, and Rishid had bought her a teddy, and so they lived jiggily and incestuously ever after.

And eventually Ryoh grew a personality, too.

(la fin)

(j'aime les culs grands et je ne peux pas mentir.)